Wednesday, April 28, 2010
It's funny what comes to your mind sometimes. The brain is so full of memories and whether by trigger or pure randomness, sometimes you end up thinking about the darnedest things! Exactly WHY your brain picks and chooses to remember seemingly meaningless things can be a mystery, but it can sometimes be thought provoking and/or entertaining.
Such is the case with a particular memory of something I would have never considered significant (though it is somewhat humorous) that comes to my mind every now and then quite randomly. Maybe I remember it because it sort of turned into a running joke (and if you know me, you KNOW how I love running jokes - and I usually don't forget those!). At the time, though, it really wasn't supposed to be funny because it involves a prayer request.
Let me set the stage for you. It's in my home town and in my home church. It was during "Kid's Klub"; which was a weekly after-school VBS type of thing. We had a time where we all got together for prayer. We always took requests and, of course, you sometimes heard some very sweet and innocent requests for things that you tried not to snicker about. It was hard not to laugh when some of the younger kids would ask for prayer about something you might think was silly (or when an older kid made a strange and inappropriate prayer request for someone or something that didn't exist - and everyone knew it except the adult in charge and couldn't figure out why we were trying not to laugh).
Imagine, then, a sweet little girl who had apparently lost her cat. I can't remember her name, but when called upon to share her request, it was: "that Squeaker comes back." She was always dead serious about it too! So, we prayed for Squeaker to come back....over and over again....week after week...for a long time! Eventually, enough time had passed that it became obvious that Squeaker probably wasn't coming back. Yet, this little girl (or some other little kid that knew Squeaker) would bring it up. In fact, I know there were several of us that were always just WAITING for her or someone to make that request! It almost didn't seem like prayer time without it! Yet, we would always try hard not to laugh as we would whisper to each other, "It's pretty obvious Squeaker isn't going to come back!" or something a little more harsh like, "Squeaker is probably dead!". You can see, then, where I'm getting at with the running joke! Squeaker finally quit being brought up as a legitimate prayer request, but every now and then, just for laughs, one of us couldn't resist saying it (but could never request it without laughing a little). I commend Karen and the other adults for not kicking some of us out. Well, actually, I think they did eventually; us older kids anyways. Sometimes, we just couldn't refrain from being obnoxious.....yes, including me - I'm sorry to admit! Oh yes, I'm sure you're shocked (well, some of you might be lol). Anyways, that's another story! ;)
I guess, for some reason, I am intrigued by Squeaker; the cat I never knew but that became so infamous! Clearly, he was a special cat or he wouldn't have been missed and prayed for so much. To my knowledge, he never did "come back" and I don't think anyone knows what fate befell poor Squeaker (but if any of you do, please let me know!). There are just so many unanswered questions, isn't there?
Squeaker remains that strange and funny memory that sometimes gets me to thinking about other "squeakers". All of us have had prayers that have seemingly gone unanswered; whether they were "big" prayers or "little" prayers that maybe we thought didn't matter much. We pray for our "squeakers" and that our prayers will be answered in the way that we want. Yet, it doesn't always work that way. The free-wills of others, and God's will, are in the mix too and so things don't always work in concordance with our own will. Perhaps our "squeakers" don't want to come back; or maybe they can't/shouldn't. Maybe we need to let go of them. Maybe there's a good reason why we don't get an answer (or maybe we do but it's not the answer we had hoped for). It's complicated. Though, we are assured that God will work it all out for good (Romans 8:28) and that His ways are better and higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9).
This is the first time in a while that I felt strongly about posting a blog like this. As you may have noticed, I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. However, I felt that this was something I had to share. God meant this blog for someone. In fact, it's probably more for me than anything. For a while, I have felt that my prayers (in what I feel is my pathetic prayer life anyways) have all been "squeaker" prayers. I'm having a hard time seeing answers and I often wonder if there ever comes a time where you stop bringing up certain things and just let them go. Yet, we are told to be persistent in prayer. I can't help but wonder, however, if God ever chuckles at some of my prayers the way we laughed about Squeaker. Though, I'm sure the only thing God laughs at is the fact that we would think that anything is too big or small for Him for us to mention. He's Lord of it all; and He cares SO DEEPLY (1 Peter 5:7). No matter how many times we mention the same people, things, or situations, He doesn't tire of listening to us. I think we just get tired of praying and the waiting that follows (guilty here!). There is so much uncertainty because we aren't in control and so we desperately want a resolution and so we ask for those prayers to "come back" to us; to be answered the way we think they should. How often, however, do we truly know what we are asking for? He knows us better than we know ourselves! Dear Jesus, help us to trust you!
Here's one prayer that I hope isn't a "squeaker" one and that is: I pray that our desire (particularly my own) comes back; our desire to keep praying no matter what. To P.U.S.H.: "Pray until something happens" (whatever "happens" looks like). I hope and pray that the nagging doubts of the enemy that say our prayers are nothing but a squeak in God's ear would be gone in Jesus name! Satan loves being able to convince us that praying doesn't matter and that God doesn't hear us and is tired of listening - but that's not true! He delights in us (Psalm 149:4), but even Jesus knew that it wasn't about having it our own way but God's (Matthew 26:39). HIS way should be our delight (Psalm 119:174). If it is, we are sure to see the desires of our heart granted (Psalm 37:4).
Grace and peace to all of you!! God bless you all as you continue to pray! Remember, nothing is too big or too small for God! If he cares about every sparrow (and Squeaker) how much MORE does He care for you?! Much. VERY much (Matthew 10:28-31)!!