Monday, August 10, 2009

"He Must Increase, But I Must Decrease"

This is a personal weigh-loss update. Typically, I post them exclusively on spark, but today I felt led to share it on all my blogs. I pray it blesses someone! And, if you want to join spark, my screen name is melissaforlife. Enter that as the referral when you sign up for FREE (that way, you'll be added to my friends list automatically)!! God bless you!!

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I am now 194.8 which is a loss of 3.4 pounds this week!! All glory to God!! Not that I am surprised, but I am just beyond thrilled (and relieved) that I am having this success since starting "The Lord's Table" course (You can take the course for FREE if you want: www.settingcaptivesfree.com).

Even though I had made Christ my goal in this journey when I started sparkpeople.com back in 2007, I didn't experience the true depth and fullness of Christ that it takes to truly overcome my overeating and sinful gluttony. I didn't have the brokenness over it yet. Guilt, sure, but it's not always the same as godly sorrow. It's more of our own self-pity. Self-pity isn't what leads you to repentance and change of heart. It's knowing that you break God's heart that motivates you to forsake your ways. Sometimes, you even have to pray for a broken heart (as hard and undesirable as that sounds). Though, as our church counselor once said, "When we're broken, we're teachable." Indeed!! I am learning so much!!

I went back through my weigh-ins on spark and it looks like on this day last year, I weighed 195. Prior to that, I had weighed even less and had gotten within 28 pounds of my 150 lb. weight goal (I was 178). Then, I made a lot of mistakes and I allowed myself to put weight back on. I lived in denial about how out-of-control I was getting again and had all sorts of excuses. I woke up to just how ridiculous I had gotten when I found myself at 207 several months ago. It was detestable to me!! Not too much more and I would have been back to where I started!

For months I have yo-yoed up and down; having combinations of successes and failures. It wasn't until I started "The Lord's Table" that everything became clearer to me. The depth of the teaching in each lesson has truly changed my heart and outlook on this whole journey and helped me to truly focus on Christ more than ever!! It has been my biggest breakthrough ever, and now I am more certain that before that I will get to (and maintain) my goal weight!! I am so grateful to Jesus for all He has done for me, and all He will continue to do!!

I am beyond hopeful that I will not only get to goal, but that I will walk in freedom. I had always thought that even when I got to goal, I would struggle for the rest of my life just trying to battle binge impulses, cravings, etc. Now, I don't fear that anymore. Through the Holy Spirit, I am experiencing freedom and self-control and the more I walk in that, the better it gets. I know that I will have days where I do mess up, but they are getting fewer and fewer as I make freedom my new habit. ;)

I am looking forward to the many more things I will learn in this course and am hoping that the lessons will stick with me for life!! :) I am excited about getting to goal and being the kind of example that I should; and reflecting the glory of God through obedience!! I pray that my desire for Him will grow and my desire for food (and anything else that gets in the way) will continue to lessen and disappear.

It's all summed up in this: "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30). Isn't that the whole principle in a nutshell? The MORE we are fulfilled in Christ, the LESS we are full of ourselves. Hence, the LESS of ourselves that there will be. Christ melts away the sin (fat) on my body. There will be less of me because there is MORE of Him!! Amen!!

Grace and peace to all of you!! God bless you all!!

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