Monday, March 29, 2010

The Souvenir that Nobody Wants to Bring Home

Well, we’re back from our visit to The Galilean Children’s Home. Today, I resume my regular fitness and nutrition routine. I couldn’t be happier to do so because my weigh-in today wasn’t good at all!! I was actually rather surprised considering that last week, I was rather sick. I’ll blog about the trip later, but for the majority of the week, I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t have much of an appetite because my stomach hurt and from Tuesday-Thursday this princess had to do a lot of sitting on the porcelain throne. Considering all that, you would think that I would have lost 5-10 pounds (that’s how I felt anyways). After all, I didn’t eat much for a good portion of the week and it didn’t seem as though anything stayed in my system long anyways. Yet, I STILL have a nasty surprise on the scale today!

Even though I obviously couldn’t work out last week due to being so sick, I didn’t think that would affect me so terribly considering that I wasn’t eating that much (well, until I started feeling better by the weekend). So, I guess the weekend coupled with this “time of month” is a rather “heavy” disadvantage. Well, they always say that you come home with more than you left with when you go on vacation. Though, I had hoped that I wouldn’t bring extra pounds home with me this time; but I guess that is always a souvenir that most can’t avoid bringing back.

So, how bad is it? Well, it’s bad: 201 pounds bad! Yeah, I know….awful!! I was in the mid 190’s when I left, so even though it’s only a few pounds up, that still puts me back in the 200’s (though this is VERY temporary - I can promise you that!!). This is typical of vacation anyways. Usually, the next week, I lose whatever it was that was gained (and maybe a little more). So, I look forward to a big loss next week as my body gets shocked back into submission.

Nevertheless, it’s still very disheartening to always feel like so much hard work (that takes weeks and months to show success) can be undone in only a matter of days. It REALLY upsets me. Do you ever get so mad that you just wish you could cut your fat off?! Gosh, if it were only that easy to take a pair of scissors and trim your own chicken legs the way you do the real stuff that you buy at the store!!

I’m pretty frustrated and moody. All I want to do is cry. I am so weary of battling and trying so hard; and am BEYOND tired of being the “fat girl”. It’s one of those days where I just want to give in and give up. Of course, I know better than that, but I wrestle with this feeling at least once a month (obviously!).

I know all of you are super supportive of me, and I can about imagine all the nice and encouraging comments you will leave. However, sometimes a girl just doesn’t want to hear it (and I think you ladies understand). I don’t think I want to hear “don’t worry, you’re still doing great…you’ll get there…muscle weighs more than fat…..this stuff happens…..etc.” None of it really helps at the moment, so please spare me….I would appreciate it. Actually, I don’t know why I even continue posting updates like this because I don’t really want to all that much. Though, I know it’s good accountability, so I suppose that’s why I keep it up.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got at the moment. I will blog about my trip as soon as I can. Please, keep me in your prayers if possible. God bless you all!


Shane Gilreath said...

Must have been all the bologna cake! ;)

Melissa said...

HA HA!! Yeah, RIGHT!! ;) Only YOU, Shane. LOL!! No one there had heard of your precious bologna cake or even thought that it sounded good!! LOL