Dear Al

Dear Al,

I must confess, you were right about global warming. Right now, we are experiencing an unbearable heat wave and eleven degrees is just about as intolerable as it gets!! It's so hot that my furnace decided to take the rest of the year off (seriously, he's not working right now!). So, I have had to wait out this miserable warm weather at my father's house while we continue trying to coax Mr. Furnace out of hiberation. I have no worries about my house's plumbing because you have assured us all that Earth is so hot that we are in no danger of freezing to death or having our pipes explode.

I will continue to hope that those polar ice caps don't melt and wipe out the world. The last thing we need is water rushing down from the north. Or, maybe that's what really happened over the last week or two!! Maybe that's why our trees are frozen in ice and people are trying to dig themselves out of their frosted tombs!! Oh my goodness, did I just say ICE??!! Ha ha, I guess the heat is making me dillusional because surely our flaming hot planet isn't experiencing any cold weather - and certainly not at temperatures below zero!! I mean really.....who has heard of such a thing?!! We're all boiling alive so what's all this talk about ice and cold weather? And snow....ha!! What a fairy tale!!! (Shhhhh, don't tell those hallucinating Arizonians I said that! They really think it's snowing!!).

Well, that's about all I have to say. Thanks for all you do to promote your very "convenient" lie.....oops, I mean "inconvenient truth." I'm glad that you and all your enlightened little zombies are so wise to the truth that all of us frigid Americans are in denial over. Once we all wise up, I'm sure we'll all "chill out" soon!! Thanks Al!!

Sincerely,

Melissa :)