The pain was intense; unlike anything I ever felt before. I used ice and pain reliever and everything I could to try and help myself feel better. It just wasn't doing much. I know I didn't help matters any by continuing on with the plan to go to a charity event that I had committed to, but I did it anyways. I rested up on Sunday and finally got to a chiropractor on Monday. Now, it's Tuesday and I'm happily aligned but still rather sore. I still have much to do this week and am doing the best I can to push through it as I still think about that aggravating question in my mind of "why did this have to happen now?"
I know I'm not the only one that asks that question. I also know that there are those that are asking it that have bigger problems than a hurt back. Those people would be the ones that I NEED the strong will and a strong back for; the women and babies who I WILL be walking and raising money for this Saturday. As of right now, I have raised $135.00 of my $500.00 minimum goal. I have less than three days to raise at least $365.00 more. The money raised will go to help women who are scared and wondering why a pregnancy had to happen to them now and are terrified about what to do next. Your gift of ANY AMOUNT (if all you have is a dollar, we'll take it!) will help provide pregnancy tests, limited obstetrical ultrasound, adoption information as well as parenting support, baby supplies, and so much more! Click here to visit my family's funding page (yep, my husband and children are walking with me too!) and make your donation! Or, contact me with how much you would like to pledge and you will be sent a collection form in the mail to send in your donation to Heartline Pregnancy Center.
If you haven't read the poem that I wrote a few years ago called "Hearing Their Hearts' Cry", take a moment to read it and prayerfully consider your donation amount. Also, you might remember the testimony of a friend of mine, Saundra, who had an abortion. It was a traumatic and regrettable experience for her. Read her short testimony below and let's help ensure that women get the help they need and won't have to go through this alone:
Memories of a sunny fall day in early October, sitting in a crowded room of young mothers... How do you force a smile on your face and push down the knots forming in your stomach, knowing that very soon you will walk back out into sunlight with an empty womb, childless. It seemed easy enough for several of the young women, but for me personally I knew it was a death sentence I was carrying out.
As my name and several others were called, we shuffled into a room with a projector to watch 'the movie' that showed us the procedure we would be going through. I got so queasy, I had to leave the room, almost passing out in the hallway. Not once did a counselor say anything about options, and I desperately wanted someone, anyone to talk me out of what I was about to do. Undress, put the gown on, lay on the cold metal table... this will only take a few minutes...that was such a surreal feeling, just going through the motions and struggling to not lose it, not to cry. I remember looking into the nurses face while the extraction was going on, and wishing there was something she could have done to make it easier, but death is death, there is nothing easy about it. I wonder now how many babies she saw die before her heart began to harden to what she was seeing...
Afterwards you are sent to the bathroom to clean up, lay down for a while if you need to compose yourself, and then of course there are cookies and juice to help build up your strength from the loss of fluids. Some of the young women bounced around chatting, relieved and ready to get on with life, and others like myself lingered. I didn't want to walk out those doors, didn't want to live. I didn't think I could ever bring myself to look at a mother and her child without feeling tremendous guilt and pain. I did leave eventually, and then I kept the traumatic events to myself for 6 years, until I married. For 3 years in my marriage, I lived under the lie that God was punishing me, and that I would never have another child because I had so carelessly ended the life of my first born. It didn't matter that the pregnancy came from a traumatic incident on a college campus. It didn't matter that the one adult I came to very quickly advised me to just get rid of 'the problem' because I would lose a full scholarship and risk anger and being cut off from my family. In my mind and heart I didn't deserve another chance, and was headed for hell, condemned for life.
I thank God for a group of women, who were powerful intercessors and LOVING pro lifers who chose to hate the sin and love the sinner. Because they cared about the life of the mother as well as the child, I was able to repent and find healing. Isn't that what all pro lifers should be doing? Loving the mother as much as the unborn child? Maybe if you can win the heart of the mother, she will consider other options before she chooses abortion? Maybe we should be praying for the hearts of women who are broken, fallen, all over the world so that maybe they won't have to make these choices? May God bless you all as you endeavor to serve Him with your whole heart!
As my name and several others were called, we shuffled into a room with a projector to watch 'the movie' that showed us the procedure we would be going through. I got so queasy, I had to leave the room, almost passing out in the hallway. Not once did a counselor say anything about options, and I desperately wanted someone, anyone to talk me out of what I was about to do. Undress, put the gown on, lay on the cold metal table... this will only take a few minutes...that was such a surreal feeling, just going through the motions and struggling to not lose it, not to cry. I remember looking into the nurses face while the extraction was going on, and wishing there was something she could have done to make it easier, but death is death, there is nothing easy about it. I wonder now how many babies she saw die before her heart began to harden to what she was seeing...
Afterwards you are sent to the bathroom to clean up, lay down for a while if you need to compose yourself, and then of course there are cookies and juice to help build up your strength from the loss of fluids. Some of the young women bounced around chatting, relieved and ready to get on with life, and others like myself lingered. I didn't want to walk out those doors, didn't want to live. I didn't think I could ever bring myself to look at a mother and her child without feeling tremendous guilt and pain. I did leave eventually, and then I kept the traumatic events to myself for 6 years, until I married. For 3 years in my marriage, I lived under the lie that God was punishing me, and that I would never have another child because I had so carelessly ended the life of my first born. It didn't matter that the pregnancy came from a traumatic incident on a college campus. It didn't matter that the one adult I came to very quickly advised me to just get rid of 'the problem' because I would lose a full scholarship and risk anger and being cut off from my family. In my mind and heart I didn't deserve another chance, and was headed for hell, condemned for life.
I thank God for a group of women, who were powerful intercessors and LOVING pro lifers who chose to hate the sin and love the sinner. Because they cared about the life of the mother as well as the child, I was able to repent and find healing. Isn't that what all pro lifers should be doing? Loving the mother as much as the unborn child? Maybe if you can win the heart of the mother, she will consider other options before she chooses abortion? Maybe we should be praying for the hearts of women who are broken, fallen, all over the world so that maybe they won't have to make these choices? May God bless you all as you endeavor to serve Him with your whole heart!
Grace and peace to you, my friends! Please, donate something....anything! Unplanned pregnancies...they are happening RIGHT NOW. The reasons and whys are varied and often very tragic. We may not be able to offer answers, but we can offer help and hope.....NOW! Please, let's protect the innocent and be the reason that a woman chooses life; for herself and for her baby. God bless you!
