In my previous post, I shared about how I had grown in hope (which was my word for 2024) and persevered through a very difficult second half of the year. But, even then, I had no idea that just two days later, I'd be hit hard again. In the early morning hours of December 31st, I was hit with the most horrendous sickness I've had in a long time. Norovirus got a hold of me and I had to stay home (and in the bathroom) almost constantly. When I wasn't on the porcelain throne, and heaving into a bowl at the same time, I was attempting to rest and stay hydrated (which was very difficult; especially with the fever and body aches). I was a good deal better on New Year's Day, but I had slept through midnight and well into the day. Not exactly the ideal picture of getting started fresh in the new year. I felt like I had crawled my way across the finish line of 2024 and dragged myself into 2025. Yet, I am so extremely thankful! I'm here! I made it! Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!
I continued to pray over the next several days; keeping my spiritual senses open to receive and discern. I noticed that I kept seeing John 15:5 (one of my favorite verses) appear in various places. It caused me to consider that maybe my word would be "abide" or maybe "abide deeper" or something like that. I like to look up numbers that pop up in my daily happenings too; seeing if they correspond with a Bible verse or concordance entry that resonates with my spirit. I visited room number 4116 when I needed to see a family member in the hospital recently. Though, nothing I looked up seemed to really stand out. It wasn't until I noticed that "abide" in John 15:5 is the same word in 1 John 4:16 (technically, it's "abiding"). That seemed to really resonate in my spirit, but of course I asked for more confirmation. I continued to pray and long for more of His comfort and presence, there were two songs that came to mind: MercyMe's "Here With Me" and Newsboys "Presence (My Heart's Desire)".
As I worshiped and bawled once again, I felt the peace, joy, and comfort come as the words of that second song welled up within me:
Oh Father, come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence
This is my heart's desire
I knew I probably had my word now. However, I asked for more clarity; just in case I had manufactured it in any way. As usual, I just wanted to be more sure. God is so gracious. He answers the seeking heart. Much like with previous words, He usually gives me a VERY obvious (and humorous) sign that it's for real. Other than the song, I don't know that I really said the word out loud in a way that Facebook "heard" me, but in any case, it showed up when I was scrolling again. This time, it was in a very convenient ad for a Christian T-shirt. When I saw it, I pretty much saw Will Smith in my mind presenting it like this lol. "Alright, alright....there's my word!" Facebook got me good....because I actually did end up buying the shirt (and the site offered a "mystery shirt" for 50% off that I was too curious to say "no" to, so we'll see what other shirt ends up coming with it!). The ad also continued to show up in my feed repeatedly; reminding me to finally get around to writing this blog post.
Now, I'm just enjoying my new word. We probably don't hear it as much as we used to (unless you're my husband and you like to say "the dude abides" because of that ridiculous movie). The first time I recall hearing the word was in the hymn "Abide With Me". As with most hymns I grew up on, it makes me think of my Grandmother singing it as I stood beside her in the church pew. When you "abide" you stay, remain, dwell, and endure. "Abide" is a strong word; a "deep" word, for sure. It's steadfast, certain, and secure. The hymn itself conveys the kind of "abide" that says, "Lord, STAY with me. Don't leave me." Indeed. He will. He will never leave or forsake us; He is with us ALWAYS (Deuteronomy 31:6, Matthew 28:20). Though, we hardly have to beg God to be faithful to stay with us. WE are the ones that need to learn how to "abide". He'll stay with us, but we need to learn to stay with HIM; abiding and remaining in Him and His love. I am very much comforted by the fact that the only "dude" that I need to be concerned about "abiding" is my friend, Jesus. He's always going to be there and He always has been. I pray that I will be faithful to abide as well; staying firm to the end.
As I contemplate my word for this year, it makes me wonder what all it will apply to beyond just the spiritual sense. Something that has been spoken over me a lot in recent years has been that I'm 'right where I'm supposed to be'. Some changes happen and you have no say in it, but there are other times where you pray and wonder if it's time to make a voluntary change in one area or another. So, it has me thinking if this is another way of telling me that I need to "abide" where I'm at; that it's still not the right time to change things up. I won't go into all the various rabbit holes here, but many know that the obvious one is regarding my job. I have enjoyed many years of working with the best team ever, but that is going to change this Summer when my bosses retire. The rest of us who remain have been waiting and wondering about whether we should "abide" or not; or if the absence of these two wonderful people (who are like parents to me) is going to be too much to handle without them. I keep saying that I won't move unless God tells me to, but a big part of me really longs to go when they go for so many reasons. Yet, the idea of leaving is also almost unfathomable as well. There are just too many pros and cons to sort through. If the Lord really wants me to stay and continue to "abide" at my job of 10 years, I will. But, if "abide" doesn't apply to this situation, I'll also step into whatever it is he has in store for me. I big part of me has been feeling like my time there is winding down and that I have learned and grown in the ways I've needed to and that the Lord is about to use all of those lessons to start something completely new in my life that I'll finally be ready for. I don't know for sure.
The one thing that I DO know is that I want to keep growing. I want to be FRUITFUL and that comes from abiding. Pastor Roy's message today was just too perfect! He started talking about the fruit of the Spirit; which is one of my favorite things to study. It made me so happy because it only amplifies this beautiful word that the Lord gave me and makes me all the more eager to meditate on it and grow!
Grace and peace to you, my friends! I pray that we will all have a blessed 2025! I believe we have a lot to look forward to! Give Him 15 has also been very encouraging and has resonated with my spirit a lot (Dutch has been talking about revival and reformation intensifying). Keep praying, persevering, and abiding in Christ! God bless you!
No comments:
Post a Comment