Fit Life = Way of Life

After a disappointing weigh-in last week, I was hoping for a better one this week. Things were looking pretty good exercise-wise. I met (and exceeded) my goal for calories burned. I worked out every day in some way, and the next phase of Power 90 was a little tougher (and I burned a lot more). I still had some nutrition issues (namely Friday when I was baking sweets for a bake sale - yeah, brownie batter/cookie dough, etc. just spells “doom” for me!). However, I actually came out on top this week!! Two pounds down!! Hallelujah! ;)

This means that my weight-loss percentage is over 5% now! I’ve lost 11.4 pounds! I had hoped to lose 10-20 during this challenge (with 15 being kind of being the number I hope to hit). I have two more weeks left! If I can lose four pounds total over the next two weigh-ins, I will make it (the final weigh-in is in two weeks, on the 15th).

As of right now, I’m not the “biggest loser” overall, and I’m not sure which team is currently in the lead. We seem to toggle between 1st and 2nd place a lot. Regardless, everyone seems to be doing well (those that are still around anyways lol). Blake was right; there were a lot of “jackers”, but most of them are gone now.

Well, I think that’s about it for this week! Pretty short and sweet!! We were missing Monica, again, this week. Though, me and a few other gals got to do some yoga tonight. Never done it in class form, but have done some here and there in Power 90 and Turbo Jam when they throw some yoga stretches in the mix. It’s pretty good stuff (and there was no emphasis on the goofy spiritual stuff - just the exercise). It’s good for stretching, balance, and flexibility. Though, it’s low-impact and not a huge calorie burner. So, being unsatisfied with a 200+ calorie burn, I did some Turbo Jam when I got home. ;) I’ve already got a good start to this week. Counting yesterday, I have 1,000 of my target 3,000 already burned!

Thank you all for reading and supporting me through this!! I’m going to finish strong (and keep going even after “Fit Life” is finished!). “Fit Life” will continue to be a “way of life” for me! I WILL get to goal! Can’t wait! Then, I’ll just have to maintain; and maybe then I can relax a little more and not have to work/push so hard. Won’t that be nice?! Amen!

I'm In A Charity Pageant And Need Your Support! :)

When I say the word “pageant”, what comes to your mind? I’ll bet they’re the same things that come to my mind as well: gorgeous girls, swimsuits, crowns, and of course “world peace.”

I don’t know if most people have a favorable opinion of pageants. Personally, I’ve never fancied them much. I’ve done a couple fashion shows, but they were non-competitive and all you had to do was model clothing. They were just for fun, and I was perfectly content with doing things like that (you might remember The Salvation Army Fashion Show that I was in, back in September).

However, the opportunity has come up for me to be in a pageant. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved, but this isn’t your standard beauty pageant. This pageant is the Salvation Army’s “Queen of Charities” pageant. The focus isn’t about outer beauty but rather, inner beauty (and there are NO SWIMSUITS! Hallelujah!). ;) The pageant focuses on the contestants’ poise and charitable works; and all the money raised benefits The Salvation Army.

Now THAT is a pageant I can get into! Not only will I get to fellowship with other women, but I will be advocating/representing my favorite charities (as well as raising money for one!). The added bonus is getting to dress up and be girly! How can I say “no” to all of that?!!

The only thing left to do now is wait for the big event; which is on April 18th (I will let you know when you can get tickets!). The only other thing I can do in the meantime is ask for support and sponsors. Even though this is an optional part of the experience, why would you want to be involved in a charity pageant and not raise money for charity? Therefore, I am hoping that my loving family and friends (and their businesses) will be eager to support this charity by sponsoring an ad in the program. If you’re a business, this would be a GREAT opportunity for you to advertise your company’s ad and information in the program (and support a great cause at the same time!). And, if you’re one of my awesome friends or family members, you can just send your amount along with a “best wishes” message for me that will be printed in the program! Oh, that would make me feel SO LOVED! ;)

Additionally, there is one more way I can raise money. I can have a “kettle” displayed at someone’s business. All I need is for a business to volunteer to promote it (and have written consent from you to do so). I will decorate and bring my kettle to you so that you can display it at your cash register (or wherever) and people can drop their spare change into it. I must have my kettle turned in by April 10th; so the longer it can be displayed, the better! Once again, all the money will go to The Salvation Army (and your business will look REALLY good to your customers as you show your charitable spirit of support!). The kettle money will also count as “votes” for an “audience choice award” at the pageant. The one with the most sponsors will be awarded as well. While I am not concerned about “winning” these awards, I am VERY concerned about trying to do whatever I can to encourage others to give generously for the cause (especially in an economy like this where organizations are getting less and less donations). This is not about “me”; it truly isn’t. Whatever “glory” I gain, I will give back to Him; because it’s not mine. This is about Christ and helping His people. My greatest award and achievement will be whatever hearts I can win to Christ through this (that’s always my goal!). I am already “titled” and “crowned” as a child of God. Nothing can top that!! I am an ambassador for Christ and a co-heir with Him. I’m already a “queen”, and winning or not winning a pageant won’t change that (2 Corinthians 5:20, Romans 8:17).

Below, you will find the information form. You can either give your information and check (payable to THE SALVATION ARMY) to me, or mail it to them directly (specifying that it is me that you are sponsoring). If you have any questions, let me know!! Remember, all of this is for CHARITY (and tax deductible)! All of the money helps feed and clothe people in the community and sees to it that children don’t wake up to an empty sight underneath the Christmas tree this year. My friend, Jama, is the coordinator of this event. She has told us all so many stories of how countless families have been blessed because of the kind hearts of people, like you, who give so generously. I can also say that personally, The Salvation Army helped a VERY dear friend of mine have a beautiful and special Christmas last year. That tearful and heartfelt moment full of happy children, a full refrigerator, and a stress free holiday couldn’t have been possible without the generosity of caring strangers; who displayed their faith by helping others. You have NO IDEA what a difference you will make in someone’s life; and it might just be someone you know!!

My hope is that God would be glorified and that His light would shine in me as I participate in this! I know that money is tight for so many people, but I’m hoping that there would be an outpouring of support anyways! I know I have a lot of GREAT friends, so I’m expecting GREAT things! ;)

God bless you all, and thank you for supporting me!! Make sure that you give me (or mail) your contribution before the deadline of MARCH 15th!!! Thank you so VERY much!! ;)

EVENT PROGRAM ADVERTISEMENT ORDER FORM

Business Name:

Contact Person:

Address:

City:

State: Zip:

Telephone:

Ad Size (circle)

Platinum ($500) Gold ($250) Silver ($100) Bronze ($50)

Friends and Family ($25)

Amount Paid:

$________

Signature of Purchaser:____________________

Your advertisement will appear in the Miss Queen of Charities 2010 Pageant Event Program on April 18, 2010. In order to ensure proper placement, we request that you respond no later than March 15, 2010.

Please include this form and make checks payable to:

The Salvation Army

2901 N Clinton

Fort Wayne, IN 46805

The Pride Smasher

It was the weigh-in I had always feared; the one I was determined to never see. When you’re on your own it doesn’t sting as much, but it seems to crush you when it happens in a team setting. The scale at the gym showed me up a pound (mine at home showed +0.8). I felt horrible!

Jenni and Debbie reassured me that it happens. After all, it’s not like I was the only one. However, I had worked out every single day (as I typically do) and this wasn’t supposed to happen to “me.” Despite the “it’s ok” talk, I could hardly stand it! “No, it’s not! It’s not me!” I said. I told them I would go get my five bucks and be back to give it to them.

I was fighting back the anger and the tears as I went to the van to get my purse and eat my after weigh-in/before workout snack (hadn’t eaten much all day because of the pending weigh-in). I was so upset that I didn’t want to eat at all, but I knew I shouldn’t workout on an empty stomach. All I could think was, “I hate you, food! I hate you!” as I cried and forced myself to eat. I felt humiliated, angry, frustrated, and like a miserable failure. I never wanted to “add” to my team - not ME, not EVER! Even staying the same would be better than a GAIN! HOW could this have happened?

Well, I knew what had happened. The same thing that ALWAYS happens! Everyone hits their plateaus, but it was more than that. Every time I start losing my focus or relaxing a little too much, this happens. I haven’t been reading my verses lately and last Saturday, when I went to a birthday party, I totally threw caution to the wind. Of course, in my mind, I always think that I can afford to blow it every now and then. Normally, that would probably be true but it’s a huge risk to do that so close to a weigh-in. Not only that, but I knew I wasn’t as good as I could have been and I didn’t burn as many calories as I normally burn (even though I worked out EVERY day). Yet, I had thought that my good choices would outweigh the bad - but apparently not.

As I tried to process my emotions in the van before going back inside, I realized that it was so much more than just the extra pound. Sure, the humiliation, weight-gain, and paying-in was awful, but I had also had a rough day. I was feeling pretty bad physically. Since eating better (the majority of the time) I notice the difference in how I feel when I eat badly (and Saturday‘s screw-ups must not have worked out of my system yet). When I eat junk (and I highly suspect gluten) I have a lot of physical pain and generally don’t feel well. That day, I had seen an endocrinologist (well, the nurse practitioner). Some blood tests have also been done. So, I’ll see what’s up pretty soon, but I was frustrated nonetheless. My emotions had been messed with a little when it was suggested that I go low-carb to jump start my weight-loss (even though I told her I had already lost ten pounds). ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! I already measure food and count calories, and am trying to avoid gluten, and NOW I’m supposed to do one more stinkin’ thing?! Not that it’s an altogether bad idea, but really…….seriously…….ONE MORE THING?!!!! I don’t think so! I will try to be more mindful of my carb range, but I’m not going to “buy a carb book” or anything. I am not going to have my mind on food more than I have to!

You know, all I could think of when the low-carb stuff was mentioned was the fact that Jesus said all foods are clean (Mark 7:19). It’s about balance and moderation. If food becomes the focus and the obsession, this is just going to keep going in a bad direction. Counting calories is good accountability for me, but it’s not something I want to do forever. If there’s anything that “The Lord’s Table” course taught me, it was that I don’t want food to be my focus! I don’t want to drive myself crazy with the “wisdom” of people, doctors, and whomever is trying to tell me to do/don’t eat this or that. Gosh, we might as well not eat at all! Dairy is bad; except when it’s good. Carbs are bad; except for the “good” carbs (whatever that means). Meat is bad, gluten is bad, organic only, etc. We’ve heard it all! I try not to listen to all the “science” and restrictive nonsense, but it’s hard when food HAS to be a part of your life and someone is always out there telling you what to do to maximize your health, get thin, etc. However, we are told not to be deceived or let anyone judge and condemn us for our meat or drink. We should not destroy the work of God for the sake of food (Colossians 2:16, Romans 14:20). Whatever we do, or eat, or whatever, just do it for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Let’s not be deceived by “fine-sounding arguments“ (Colossians 2:3-4). It’s exhausting! Don’t you think?

I think what upsets me the most is the fact that I’ve been doing this so long and feel like all I am ever doing is chasing a 150 lb. golden carrot on pole that is strapped to my back. No matter what I learn, or how good/bad I do, I just never get to that golden weight. I’m SO TIRED of being the fat girl in this house! Everyone else can eat whatever they want! They don’t have to eat what I eat (and WON’T no matter how much I want them to try) and I can’t eat what they eat. It’s unfair to us all and it frustrates me when I’m trying to think of how to eat at home (and all eat the same thing). All I want to do is cry because this is the hardest thing in the world to battle because you can’t abstain from food. Everyone has to eat. It would be so much easier to just go cold turkey from just about anything else and never have to go near it again,…but this? I hate that this is always going to be a forever battle in my life! Those of you, like my husband, who maintain a steady weight with little to no effort (and can eat whatever/whenever you want), you have no idea how blessed you are!

All of this weighed heavy on my heart as I sat in the van. All I could ask was “why?” God doesn’t always answer the “whys”. Instead, he sometimes answers with another question. Mine was, “Well, what did you learn?” The temptation was to go with Satan’s twisted view: “I learned that no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough - and neither will I. I failed my team, my blog readers/supporters, You, and myself. I don’t want to workout here tonight. I feel like everyone is staring at me. I’ll just go home and workout.” However, I knew that those were lies and that the BIGGEST failure is if I refused to tough it out and face the gym (and my peers - who were already working out anyways). Furthermore, most of us know that if someone is trying to victimize you, you NEVER allow yourself to be taken to another location (your chances of survival drop). I immediately realized that if I allowed Satan to take me to another location, there was a chance that I would allow myself to engage in more self-pity, tears, etc. and excuse myself from working out at all.

Realizing the assault for what it was, I made up for my bad decisions by making a good one. I decided to force myself to look at and accept the blessing of failure; because I needed to fail. Sometimes, that’s the greatest gift that God can allow. Like Karen Kaehr once said, “when we’re broken, we’re teachable….God doesn’t waste our pain.” I remember that EVERY time I feel so low that I just want to give up (or give all to the point of overcompensation). I had to remind myself that it wasn’t “all or nothing” and that the weigh-in was a total pride smasher. I needed to know what it felt like to be a “gainer” instead of a “loser”. I needed to be reminded that I am not “above the law” and can’t “win” every time. Furthermore, I will be more compassionate of other “gainers”. I haven’t purposely looked down on anyone for gaining, but I admit that being part of a team has made me more adamant about not gaining. Hence, if anyone gained (my team or not) I would find it slightly irritating. Now, I am the “irritant”, and I needed that!

No matter how much we would like to think so, this isn’t “The Biggest Loser.” Not everyone is going to lose every single week. Our real lives aren’t a reality show and we can’t expect the same degree/rate of success. Our personal bests are good enough and if we have “gains”, it really is “ok”. Well, not REALLY “ok” as in “it doesn’t matter” but “ok” in the sense that if we are all at least putting forth a good effort, we don’t have to shame ourselves. I don’t have to feel bad. My gain wasn’t the result of a complete lack of effort. Who knows, it could be muscle gain or just the stockpile of the small mistakes starting to catch up. Overall, I’m happy with how I do and even though I am tempted to agree with Joy that my “the scale isn’t all that matters” talk from last week is rubbish, I think I will still stick with that line lol. ;) The gain sure does entice me to think that the scale really does hold all the sway, but deep down, I know it doesn’t. Like I said a while back, it can “Judge A-Weigh” but my true progress can’t be measured with a scale!

I paid my five bucks and worked out at the gym that night. Even though my Monica wasn’t there (missed you, girl!) I did treadmill and weight-machines (Blake wasn’t there either!). It wasn’t the most fun I had had at the gym, but it was definitely one of my more focused times (and I feel I ran/strength trained well). I left the gym feeling better and it’s always nice to vent via exercise rather than venting through self-pity (or a big food binge of comfort!). I also felt peaceful as I got ready to drive home. I had a “be still” and “breathe” type of moment. It felt nice and relaxing. Praise God!

This is going to be a better week! I am going to refocus the way I should and do a better job of listening to my wonderful personal trainer: God. I am also going to do my best in the next level of the Power 90 workouts (which I started today). I definitely burned more calories (and I think I felt it more too) so hopefully, that will show in the days/weeks to come!!

Thank you, everyone, for your support (and for reading my updates). I’m always happy to share the good/bad with you and what I learn along the way! God bless you all!!