The Abiding Place

Tomorrow, my husband is scheduled for a "final" interview at 10 AM. The definition of "final" wasn't clarified. We don't know if that means, "Last interview and then you're definitely hired" or "last interview and then we'll get back to you." As I mentioned a few days ago, it will be 9 months on the 9th that he has been without a job. In my mind, I think it would be fitting to get the "final" decision on Friday and have a new job be "birthed"; but God can do whatever He wants (and He will!) lol.

Weary are we of the endless cycle of interviews, waiting, ghostings, and rejections. My trust is in the faithfulness and goodness of God to provide (and He does and has all this time). In fact, in thinking about how tomorrow is May 7th (5/7), that syncs up with a few really good verses: 

For we live by faith, not by sight.  -  2 Corinthians 5:7

You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? - Galatians 5:7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. - 1 Peter 5:7

Recently, I was thinking/feeling like things were so dark. I reminded myself that Jesus is there and is the light. I'm not wandering around blind; He holds me by my right hand (Isaiah 41:13). I thought, "Maybe it's only dark because I haven't opened my eyes. What do I need to open my eyes to so I can see?" I always get concerned that I'm missing something. I pray and ask all the time for an open mind, heart, ears, and eyes. I ask for wisdom, clarity, and revelation. The silence is deafening, but I get peace over and over again as I remember all the verses that continue to come up. I think about how my word this year is "abide" and even though that's hard, there is such a strength and anchoring to that word. I can walk by faith and not by sight because I know who holds my hand and leads. I'll run the good race and I won't let anything cut in, discourage me, or make me give up on the truth of God's promises. I'll give Him every care because He cares for me. 

Friends, I'm asking you to pray with me as we go into tomorrow's "final"! I'm just going to have to pray more diligently in the Spirit because I don't know what to pray anymore (Romans 8:26, Ephesians 6:18). I don't want doubts and past disappointments to strip my prayers of effectiveness. Prayers not prayed in faith fall flat (James 1:6). I trust the Spirit to pray and ask for the right things, so that will be my main focus. What do I know about the "right" job? Only He knows if this is the right one or not or if there is something "else" in mind; the "else" that I do not know, see, and have no idea about. 

I'm just in the "abiding" place; trying to bear "the weight as I wait". I'm abiding in who He is; and He is IN me and WITH me. That one thing is enough. It's the "work" of God to believe in the One He has sent (John 6:29). When I don't know what to "do", I just do the one thing: believe. I stay. I abide. That "works". When the Father just tells you "stay here...wait a minute", that minute can be a really long one; for us, not for Him. He is not bound by time like we are; and oh how slowly that time seems to pass. Wait and wait like an impatient toddler. But the Father's commands are good and when He says something, you can bank on it. 

"Abba, how long are you going to make me wait here?" Funny, isn't it? All the while He is working, but He has never turned His back and never left (Joshua 1:5). He's doing it all at the same time; doing all the behind the scenes things AND waiting WITH you while He is doing it. God is God. When He brings whatever it is I've been waiting for, it will be immeasurably more than what I have been able to ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I want to be right where He put me when it's time to say, "Here it is, my child. It's ready." Maybe that's when my eyes will be open to see as I hold my hands and hold the surprise He just placed in my waiting palms. What's more frustrating than being a parent and not having your kid ready when it's time lol? It's not like HE doesn't know, but what a patient Shepherd He is with these sheepish children of His. To Adam, "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9). "What are you doing here, Elijah?" (1 Kings 19:9). To Peter, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:31). "Melissa, didn't I tell you that you are worth more than many sparrows?" (Matthew 10:31, Luke 12:7). When the time is right (both in the now and in the ultimate end of time), are we going to be where He put us when He wants to give us what we've waited for? Position me where you want to, Lord. I want to be right where I'm supposed to be. I want to obey your instructions; even if it's hard, I don't understand, and the wait is long. 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Thank you for your support and prayers! The one good thing of many in this season is all the wonderful things I've been able to create/post/share. The things He speaks to me to help me through all this frustration, pain, and grief is hopefully a help to others as well. Keep abiding! The new wine and wine-skins will come! God bless you all!