Finding Answers in the Wilderness

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; 
to search out a matter is the glory of kings. 
- Proverbs 25:2

"Did you find everything alright?" That's usually the question asked when you're checking out at a store and the associate is politely trying to make sure you have gotten everything you've come for. Usually, a person's answer is "yes," right? We go into a store with a list or a particular item in mind; and we don't leave until we have gotten what we've come for. Most of the time, we know where something is. We seek and find it right away. Other times, we're looking for something special that we wouldn't typically search for. It may take us longer to find it, but we're on a mission! Even if we don't find it at one store, we keep looking until we finally complete our quest. A seeker's mentality gets a finder's reward.

What about the non-material things? What about the treasure of wisdom that is worth far more than rubies (Job 18:18, Proverbs 8:11)? What about the things that aren't tangible; things you cannot buy, earn, or find in stores? How often do we go on an intentional and purposeful quest for that? How often do we find it when we look for it? 

I have been thinking about this concept because I "found" something that I was looking for. Over the years, I've learned to have that seekers mentality. I know that if I seek the Lord, I will find Him. If I desperately need answers, He will give them to me. That's what His Word says (Deuteronomy 4:29, Jeremiah 29:13, Proverbs 8:17, Matthew 7:7-8, Luke 11:9-10). The "catch" is being "all in". Being wholehearted and intentional. Just like shopping, you're on a mission; purposefully and intentionally looking for something (and not giving up until you've found it). It's also like when we were recently car shopping for my son. Of all the makes, models, mileages, prices, etc. you don't give up until you find the right one. There were moments where we almost settled for less, but a true seeker's heart will be paired with wisdom and discernment. Those are the things Holy Spirit uses to confirm to you that you've found what you're looking for. 

I've "found" a lot of treasure to start off the week! It began Monday morning as I was driving to work. I was feeling extra tired and weary; definitely not ready for a new week. I was praying and lamenting about how I was feeling; asking God, as always, for his provision, healing, and refreshment. I also wanted to know that I was seen and that things were going to be ok regarding Chris securing a new job this week. This is a whole separate story, but basically, I've been feeling that this week was going to be the end of our 40 days in the wilderness (July 8th was when he was let go, so that makes today, August 16th, the last day). I had recently read in Luke 4:1-15 about the temptation of Jesus in the wilderness and was struck by how it started and ended - FULL! Jesus was FULL of the Holy Spirit, and was LED by the Spirit into the wilderness. He was fasting; He ate nothing. HOW did he withstand 40 days of temptation? It was that FULLNESS of the Spirit that sustained Him. He had 40 days worth of attacks from Satan, but He overcame it! After those 40 days were over, He returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit; teaching and healing people. 

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this. You'd think I'd already be content and super excited for the upcoming breakthrough/shift that is on the horizon after everything I've been reading, praying, and fasting through. However, I wanted and needed more confirmation and revelation. Jeremy Avila actually kicked that off a few days ago at Friday Worship Night with "You gotta getta word!" Watch this one! It also includes an amazing word from Roxy where she mentioned Abraham's "yes" to God. If you need a word from the Lord, GET ONE! He'll give it to you if you seek and ask for it! Seriously, go watch that; it'll help you get started (check this out too for more ideas; this series is also great about explaining how to see and experience God more). I didn't even know at the time how much it would factor in with what God would show me!

Over this past weekend, God was busy bringing the pieces together before I even fully asked for it (it's so cool how He does that; He really does know what we need before we even ask...which was something I read in my Bible plan today too!). Saturday night, he even woke me up from a nap with Hebrews 11:1 in my head. 

Naturally, awakening to a verse echoing in my mind prompted me to read Hebrews 11 in its entirety. It's a faith builder full of testimonies of so many in the Bible who walked by faith. Some didn't even see the full promise in their lifetime, but "welcomed it from a distance." The last verses say that together with US, they would be made perfect. 

The full impact of Hebrews 11 didn't come until I listened to Dutch Sheets' "Give Him 15" post. I thought I was listening to Monday's post, but I was actually listening to Friday's post that I had missed but intended to listen to later. In it, he was talking about God's timing and about....Abraham. I was awestruck and blessed, and then I heard "see you on Monday" and realized that I had listened to Friday's (and like I mentioned earlier, Abraham was mentioned at our Friday Worship Night). I couldn't wait to listen to Monday's post, but it would have to wait for my drive home.

In the meantime, I was also exploring two numbers that had popped up on Sunday. One was a total of $15.15 and the other $80 even. Neither one seemed like coincidences. When searching the Bible app, I found the treasure I was looking for in Proverbs 15:15 and Luke 1:80 : 

All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

And the child grew and became strong in spirit; and he lived in the wilderness until he appeared publicly to Israel.

Once again, MORE treasure! Bible Hub has some insightful commentary notes on Proverbs 15:15. It explained how the oppressed/afflicted is a mental state. A cheerful heart and good attitude fuels a person and they can draw upon it and feast upon it. Likewise, someone that lives off of a bad mindset will feast off it and wallow in self-pity. It paired nicely with what I was seeking about the wilderness. Like Jesus, John the Baptist experienced growth, transformation, and power in the wilderness. When they both appeared and started their public ministries, they were FULL of the power of the Spirit. They had been feasting on and drawing their sustenance from the Spirit throughout their time in the wilderness. By contrast, the Israelites did the opposite when they were in the wilderness for 40 years. They had an oppressed and anxious mentality. Their mentality left them powerless instead of powerful. They feasted on negativity and scarcity; hoarding manna and quail to feed their flesh instead of feasting on the Spirit of God. I don't know about you, but I want my time in the wilderness to look less like theirs and more like Jesus and John's. I want to emerge victorious, transformed, refined, and empowered! 

To put the icing on the cake, Dutch's Monday post was about.....Hebrews 11. You can't make this stuff up lol! In it, he talked about agreeing with our brethren in prayer and the synergy of the ages (not just present prayers, but the prayers prayed by those that proceeded us). He describes those last two verses about being made perfect together like this:

The last two verses of Hebrews 11 give us the amazing answer; they did not receive the fulfillment of their promises because God wouldn’t allow them to be “complete” without us. That is incredible! We, today, are a continuation of these individuals’ callings and assignments. The Greek word translated “complete” also means “to finish; to mature; to reach the intended goal.” Think about the ramifications of this: without us, God can’t finish what He began through those saints; what He started through them cannot mature or reach its intended goal until we grab the baton and run our leg of the race. That is mind-blowing!

God gave these individuals promises, but He often didn’t give them timelines. He did not tell them He would bring the fulfillment into their lifetimes, although I’m sure most of them expected Him to do so. The eternal God, who transcends time, speaks promises that are sometimes more reflective of His nature and relationship with time than ours. At times, He makes promises to people, knowing full well He will deliver on those promises through their children, grandchildren, or spiritual descendants. I wonder what I may be finishing for some pastor or teacher from a few decades ago? Or perhaps for even some flag-waving patriot warrior?

I went to Monday night prayer room feeling very "full". I wanted to "getta word" and He more than gave it to me! I entered the wilderness full, led by the Spirit for my/our own good, and I/we are going to leave it FULL; better than when we went in! I definitely feel like I/we will be leaving the wilderness this week and entering into a new season (or ministry?!) FULL of POWER! 

I couldn't help but share Hebrews 11 at prayer room through grateful tears. I also shared about how much the prayers of my grandmothers meant to me. I was told that my Great-Grandma Zerkel would often fall asleep praying for her family members. She would try to get through everyone's names, but sometimes didn't make it. I think about what she might have prayed for all of us and that she would go to sleep with our names and prayers on her lips. Maybe it was something as simple as blessing and keeping us. She always used to write that in birthday cards: "May the Lord bless you and keep you." Keep me? Am I going somewhere? What does that even mean? I never understood it. I didn't appreciate it until recent years when I thought about what that meant as she stuck that birthday wish and a crisp $1 bill in the card. She was a widow for most of her life. She didn't have much, but she loved and thought of us. That dollar bill, and those nighttime prayers, were priceless widow's mites. If a dollar was all she had, she'd at least make sure it was brand new. And those prayers? Still being answered today. He has blessed and "kept" me. I cannot be snatched from His hand (John 10:27-30, Romans 8:38-39).

 

Faith. Transformation. Prayers. POWER! The fullness and sustaining power of Holy Spirit is what gets us through our wilderness seasons. He leads us there to refine and prepare us for what comes after it. I'm ready to "getta word" for what's next as I leave the wilderness in the rear-view mirror!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! If you need need answers in your life, SEEK THE LORD....with ALL your heart! Go on that mission and don't stop until you've completed it and gotten what you came for! Don't waste time grumbling in the wilderness. Draw off the fullness of the Spirit and let it fuel and sustain you! Fast. Pray. Seek. You'll be transformed, renewed, and prepared for the purposes for which He's working all of this out for good (Romans 8:28). You'll emerge powerful and victorious; ready to advance His Kingdom in new ways! The faith and prayers prayed throughout the ages will continue on as we pass the torch to the next generation. May He "bless and keep" us all as we give what we have of ourselves to Him! We're creating a continued legacy; or choosing a new one if it wasn't passed down to us (just look at Rahab who was mentioned in that hall of faith!). God bless and keep you all!

40 & Fabulous!

Forty is a big number; and an important one. It's a Biblical number; showing up 146 times in scripture. Think about some of the most notable mentions of it. The world was flooded for 40 days and nights (and we remember that time every time we see GOD'S RAINBOW of His promise and faithfulness to us). There's also the wandering in the wilderness of the Israelites. Jesus' days of temptation also come to mind. "The number 40 generally symbolizes a period of testing, trial or probation...the number forty can also represent a generation of man."   

Maybe that's why people say, "life begins at 40." I definitely feel this to be true for me as I reflect back on four decades of life. I've grown; and not just in height or girth lol. I've grown where it counts; in faith and love. I have definitely had storms, desert wanderings, and many temptations and failures. But, I've also experienced God's great redemption and favor as He continues to show Himself faithful even when I haven't been. His promises are always true; and I'm so thankful for that!

Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 13:11-13: 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

My mind and heart has matured; and will continue to do so for the rest of my days. I don't want to think or behave in the frequent foolish ways of a child, but I do want to have the pure heart and faith of a child like Jesus mentions (Matthew 18:3, Mark 10:15, Luke 18:17). I want discernment, discipline, and humility to be continually cultivated in me; and without losing the joy, wonder, fun, and creativity that are those good childlike things that we should hang onto. I want to learn from the past reflections, and look prophetically forward to what I can't see (but can see "in part"). In fact, there are probably nuggets from my past that still aren't "fully known" yet either! But, there will come a day (ultimately in heaven) where everything is clear and "fully known". It's the three things (faith, hope, and love) that "remain" with us throughout this earthly life that give us a picture of what we will "fully know" in eternal life. 

The pictures you are beholding now are a few snapshots of the past; as well as my Rainbow Brite birthday dress of today and my special makeup/accessories lol. That's right, I have no shame. I am unapologetically "extra"....and it's FUN! I have always loved rainbows (and obviously Rainbow Brite). I have also always liked unicorns, Strawberry Shortcake, and all things princess, sparkly, etc. At different stages of life, I've lost my own "sparkle", but have always been restored through Christ. Just like the time Rainbow Brite had to restore colors that were destroyed by the Monstromurk, God has brought back all the hues of beauty back to my life every time the enemy has tried to crumble my world and turn everything to gray and ash. As goofy as 80's cartoons can be (though STILL superior to the junk or remakes/makeovers of her and other favorite 80's characters), I can always see the spiritual truth at the heart of it. Is life always sunshine, rainbows, and sparkles? No. Jesus said we would have trouble in this world; but assured us of the GOOD NEWS that HE has overcome it (John 16:33). We live in a fallen world because of sin, but that brokenness is NOT our final condition! We can STILL have sunshine, sparkles, and rainbows (and spread all that around!) if we CHOOSE to; if we CHOSE HIM and abide in Him (John 15:5)! He who believes HAS eternal life (both NOW and LATER as John 3:16-17 says). THAT'S why I "smile all the time". That's why people call me "sunshine", "mermaid", "smiley", etc. I have that joy NOW, in part, and will have it FULLY in eternity! I'm excited for that day when all things will be permanently bright and beautiful. No more sin. No more death. No more crumbling world, pain, or darkness. There will be a day; and it's coming....SOON!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Birthday or no birthday, this is a month of turning points, breakthrough, and celebration! I am excited for all God has, is, and will continue to do! Pray, fast, and persevere! It's time for the Deborahs to arise (she served 40 years as a judge, by the way). It's the "until" moment. Insert your name in her words, "Until I, Melissa, arose!" RISE UP, for such a time as this! Take your place! I definitely feel like I'm rising up in my destiny more and more as the final days draw near! Praise God! Amen! 

*SIDE NOTE* I'm collecting 40 items (at least!) for The Salvation Army food & diaper pantry for my birthday this month! See list below for most needed items. Or, if you would like to donate to the "mermaid hair fund" (so I can continue being a "blue beacon" for others and connect/minister/pray with them) you can Cash App $MKCunning and make a note of it. If you don't live in the area and can't bring physical items, you can also make note of it and do a Cash App donation and I'll buy the items and donate them. Thank you in advance for investing in God's Kingdom!

List

• Diapers (Size 7 ONLY; this is a highly requested size that we rarely get....and my birthday is 7/7, so it fits lol).
• Baby Wipes
• Toiletries: Shampoo, Conditioner, Bar Soap, Hand Soap, Deodorant, Razors, Toothbrushes, Toothpaste, Feminie Hygiene
• Laundry & Cleaning Products: Detergent, Fabric Softener, Dryer Sheets, Cleaning Sprays
• Breakfast Foods: Cereal, Oatmeal, Pancake Mix, & Syrup
• Pasta: Noodles, Ramen, Mac & Cheese, Chef Boyardee, Pasta Sauce
• Baking Items & Mixes: Flour, Sugar, Oil, Cake Mix, Brownie Mix, Frosting, etc.
• Beverages: Coffee, Tea, Juice
• Canned Meats: Chicken, Beef, Pork, Tuna
• Misc.: Peanut Butter, Jelly, Soup, Condiments, Snack Foods

"Go and make great things happen!"

When I heard that Mr. Tatman passed away I was sad. Then, I read his obituary and couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read, "Per Stephen’s wishes, there will be no services." I heard him saying that last part of the sentence in my mind as only he would say it (anyone that knew him probably understands what I mean). It makes perfect sense to me why he wouldn't want any services; he was modest, humble, and not usually sentimental (though, the guest book entries definitely show some of his softer side underneath the "tough coach/teacher" exterior). I know he probably wouldn't want anyone eulogizing him, but his impact was far too great not to. I'm sorry, Mr. Tatman. You'll just have to shake your head, and throw down an "F" from heaven in disapproval. I'll "pick that gauntlet up" (as you used to say) and write my best anyways. I am going to "give credit where credit is due"; which is another thing that you always said and emphasized frequently. Yes, I know that "less is more", but Mrs. Cook overrode you in that department because she taught me to write in detail. 

I first knew Mr. Tatman as the Dad of my newfound friend. Kate and I hit it off right away when they moved to Berne. When I would go to her house, I was told (and learned very quickly) to keep the noise level down and NEVER bother him; especially when he was watching the sci-fi channel. He had a presence that was initially intimidating, but that you couldn't help respecting. 

I also learned that he was very smart and incredibly funny. His humor is the kind where you don't always know if it's safe to laugh because he seldom cracked a smile in his delivery of the joke. You second guess yourself and wonder if he was really intending to be funny. A memory of this that stands out is when I was having dinner at their house. I'll never forget sitting around the table as a 4th grader; trying to fill the silence and make small talk with a man who was a mystery and larger than life. He was scary and fascinating to me. I asked him what he taught. Without even really looking at me, he abruptly and quickly rattled off something like "literature....Shakespeare.." I told him I would like his class. Once again, without looking at me, he promptly said, "you wouldn't like my class." I was rattled and couldn't think of anything else to say. I was stunned into silence (and a part of me was also stifling laughter at the way he said it). I also wanted to insist that I really WOULD like his class, but the rest of me was screaming "don't you dare try to argue with this guy!" So, I let it be. Yet, in my mind, I already knew that whether he meant that as a joke or not, I was going to prove him wrong. 

Fast forward to 10th grade English. I always hoped to impress him, but it seemed like it took a lot to really "wow" him; and underclassmen typically didn't do it for him. In fact, I once again made the error of thinking I could make small talk. I had casually asked once, "So, are you looking forward to the Christmas break?" Not looking up, he continued to straighten the pile of papers he was going through and said, "I look forward to nothing. Every day is equal." My sophomoric brain was just as dumbfounded as my 4th grade brain had been. He was simple but so complex at the same time; just like the sentences he taught us to diagram. 

One of my proudest accomplishments of that class is the fact that I got an "A" on my figurative language assignment for "A Tale of Two Cities". He had said that it would be impossible to get a good grade if we waited until the night before to do it (which I did). I had no affection or appreciation for that book at the time; much like he described his disdain for "Canterbury Tales" when he was in grade school. He had explained that he refused to read it and relied on what was actually explained and taught in class so he wouldn't have to read it. I realized that he was telling us the same thing and that all I had to do was pay attention to his lectures and the oral chapter assignments from everyone else. To this day, I still haven't read much beyond the chapter assigned to me ("Knitting") and the opening line of,  "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." The movie, and content of the class, was more than enough to help me get a good grade and I truly enjoyed his class. It didn't hurt that I understood and used figurative language all the time, so the assignment wasn't as hard for me as it likely was for other procrastinators. My love for Shakespeare also grew. We read through "The Tragic History of Julius Caesar" and "Hamlet". To this day, I still love Shakespeare, and I hope to eventually read EVERYTHING he's written.

I hung on every word, story, saying, and funny thing that he said (I think I still have my English and Speech folder stored away somewhere because everything he taught was so valuable to me). I especially felt this way when I took Speech class; which was the result of a last minute modification to my schedule when I abruptly dropped choir (don't ask lol). It seemed to be an unplanned and accidental thing. However, as Mr. Tatman always said, "there are no accidents." 

It was DEFINITELY no accident that I ended up taking Speech. I was meant to take that class and I absolutely LOVED it! It's my favorite class of all time for so many reasons. I relished every piece of advice and criticism that he gave me. He made me want to be my best self; and still does. In fact, the following phrases of his are things that I tell myself, and others, quite often: 

"Always know your mark."

"Know your audience." 

"Everything is done on purpose for a purpose. There are no accidents." 

"Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes permanent. PERFECT practice makes perfect. You practice how you perform and you perform the way you practice." 

These pieces of advice have served me well in life. It's not just good advice for stage or athletic performance. This applies to EVERYTHING! You need to know what you're doing and who you're doing it for! Know your audience and hit your mark on and off the stage. Be intentional, purposeful, and fruitful. If you want your words/art to be understood, you have to understand the ones you're communicating your message to! This includes everyday interactions with people; and especially in your most meaningful relationships. If you don't communicate in a way, and at a level your listener can understand, they will NOT receive and perceive the message you're communicating in the way that you intend. Always make every effort to be clear in what you're saying. 

There is so much more I could say. I have so many fond memories of every funny moment and nugget of wisdom I mined from him. However, I know I have gone on long enough and I'll end with one last thing; the thing that marked me for life. It happened when I was gathering signatures for my Senior Memories book. His signature/advice was one that I absolutely had to have. I had no idea what he thought of me; or if he took me seriously whenever I told him how much he had impacted me (I think that was one of the few times I made him smile/laugh lol). However, I made one last daring attempt to approach "the reaper" (as he often called himself). I asked him if I could take a photo of him for my book, and the following picture is what I got lol. Secondly, I asked him if he would sign it....and he actually did! 

I've always been grateful for these words and have heard them in my head (and in his voice) over and over again throughout the years. It's impacted me so strongly! First of all, it's because he addressed me by my first name (he always called everyone by their last name). Secondly, his encouragement and affirmation inspired and fueled me to want to make him proud and to live up to my God-given potential and destiny. I told him I was going to dedicate my first book to him and the rest of my English teachers. He laughed and said I didn't have to do that. Again, I wasn't sure if this was because of his modesty or if he really didn't believe that he had impacted me that much and didn't want any credit (especially if he thought I was a poor result of all his hard work as a teacher). My doubts faded away for the most part, because I'd like to think that his words reflected something he saw in me. After all, he never said anything he didn't mean. He was always sincere. Maybe that's why he started out by telling me to believe in myself after calling me by name. He knew I needed to be reminded to have confidence in how God designed and gifted me. He then affirmed my worth and value as a person; saying that I was important and that what I brought to the world meant something. Then, he sealed it with the commission of "go make great things happen!" He even said it out loud because I sheepishly asked what the last part said. I had initially thought maybe it said "God" because the "&" looked like a "d" to me, so that's why I dared to ask. It still would have made sense if there had been a coma after "God" or an "s" after "make."  "God, make great things happen!" "God makes great things happen!" The first is a prayer, the next is an answer and declaration to that prayer. I say "yes" and "amen" to both!!

I truly hope my life thus far has been a fulfillment of the prophetic words that Mr. Tatman spoke over me. I've grown in my identity in Christ and have been doing my best to live on purpose with a purpose; for that audience of "one" that is Christ Jesus. I know my mark, and I get up each day hoping to hit it. When I miss the mark, He covers me with grace and forgives me; showing me a better way to practice my faith so that my imperfect practice doesn't become permanent. I continue to grow, transform, and ask questions; because none of us are "aces" (as he used to say when no one dared to ask a question). We should never stop learning and growing; taking in as much information as we can before trying to discern or toss anything aside. "You can't afford to discriminate," he would say. It's true. As the Bible says, we must be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19). Being a good audience is just as important as communicating to one. Communication is a "two way street."

Grace and peace to you, my friends! May we all live out our greatest commission which comes from Christ (Matthew 28:18-20). If we are going to "go out into all the world" and "make great things happen" for His name, we have to be a good disciple before we can make more! May we all be good students, disciples, and sowers so that we can reap a harvest of good things (Galatians 6:9, James 3:18); just like "the reaper" is reaping in heaven right now for all he's sown (he's getting his own A+ from the ultimate teacher). Remember that Jesus has chosen you (John 15:16). You are NO ACCIDENT (Job 10:11, Psalm 139:13-14, Jeremiah 1:5)! He has redeemed you and called you by name: You are His (Isaiah 43:1-2)! He is proud of you! You're His masterpiece and He has commissioned you to do good works and not bury your talents in the sand (Ephesians 2:10, Matthew 25:14-30). "Go and make great things happen" for the Kingdom! God bless you!