Monday, October 27, 2008

Rejection (Part 2)

In the previous blog, “word pictures of rejection” was explored. Now, it’s time to look at the “wounds of rejection” in connection with the definitions of rejection we just learned about.

Beth Moore made several different points in this section. Point number one is that “Rejection can wound deeper and last longer than hosts of other injuries.” She even went as far to say that we translate rejection more than we do acceptance. Psalm 27:10 says, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.” Yet, we so often miss the promise of that verse because we are so focused on our pain. We overlook the comfort and cling to our misery; we just can’t let go! We focus on the rejection of our parents, siblings, friends, spouse, etc. more than we do God’s enduring guarantee of unfailing love and acceptance from Him!

In illustrating the preceding concept, Beth put on a pair of old-fashioned sunglasses that were her grandmother’s. She says she often puts them on and just looks in the mirror (and it looked rather humorous! LOL). She said looking through the tint of those ridiculous looking glasses is like looking at the world through the tint of rejection. We won’t take off those ridiculous glasses and instead, everything is colored and tainted by those lenses of pain. Everyone else pays for the offenses that OTHERS cause us. We view everyone through that filter and punish them for the mistakes others made in our lives. Beth encouraged us all to take our glasses off! It’s time to see clearly!

The next point she made was: “Rejection tempts us to invite things into our lives we might never have welcomed.” She said it’s that neon “vacancy” sign inviting things in that we never dreamed that we would! Trauma cripples us and leaves us vulnerable. The longer we wallow in our pain and refuse treatment for our recovery, the more prone we are to further infection!

The third point she made is much like last one: “Rejection can empower us to act in ways we never dreamed of behaving.” How many times has our own pain caused us to lash out irrationally towards someone that didn’t cause our original pain to begin with? Or, maybe we have started to act and be a totally different person than what we were before in order to cope with our pain. Maybe we have turned to some sort of addiction, lifestyle, or person in order to cope. Beth cited an example of someone marrying someone they barely knew just to get back at the prior person that rejected them. She said, “Yeah, I sure showed them!” Who’s REALLY being punished, though? One’s own hasty decisions most often turns out to be YOUR punishment, not theirs! Revenge isn’t so sweet!

The last point she made was: “Rejection claims two erroneous repairs: To recover what rejected it“ and/or “To reject what rejected it.” I’m sure we have all been on both the giving and receiving ends of both of these scenarios! Beth said that in the first case, we are trying desperately to hold onto what rejected us. Sometimes, it’s a good thing to reconcile and other times, it’s a blessing in the case of situations where the relationship is toxic. Either way, however, that kind of desperate dependency isn’t healthy. A person’s worth isn’t dependent on whether or not they are approved and accepted by what rejected them. No one controls your worth, just as you can’t control theirs!

The second claim of rejection (rejecting what rejected you) is just as harmful if you are coming from that place of control. One example I can think of is when someone breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Then, after they change their mind, they attempt to get back together. The person that was first rejected then reconciles just long enough to reject them back. Beth Moore said it’s the “I’ll reject you before you can reject me” mentality - and it’s a person’s way of trying to have the “last word.”

If you’re like me, every single rejection scenario has probably played out in your life. One person in our group brought up grade school. There is a LOT of rejection that goes on in our school years! Personally, I felt rejected a LOT! I wasn’t in the “popular” crowds. So, I know how it felt to be “left out” and I tried to be inclusive to others (especially if they were the “new kid” at school). Though, I have had my moments where I was just as bad as the other kids and I sat by and said nothing, or laughed along with people when they picked on the kids that weren’t accepted. I’m sure I’m not alone in that. We’ve all been rejecters and rejectees; both past and present (and most likely in the future). It’s the kind of fallen world we live in.

Rejection is a sad part of life. Though, there is redemption in rejection!! The ray of light to this subject is in the next blog!! Grace and peace to all of you!!

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