Come Near: A Tale of Two Strays

A short time ago, I visited some family in South Carolina. While at my brother's house, I met his dog for the first time. Technically, she's a stray that he has basically claimed as his own; and she has pretty much claimed him as well. He named her "Fallon" The catch is, she still very much acts like a stray. Despite being fed and provided for by my brother, she still has not warmed up to him (or anyone else). She sticks around the property, but keeps her distance from everyone. We all assume that she has probably gone through abuse and trauma early on in life. Whatever the case, she will only get so close to a human before she shies away. 

One morning, while I was sitting out on the porch, she came up out of nowhere. When she realized that I was sitting there, she stopped at the steps. I was listening to worship music on my phone, and I thought maybe by some supernatural miracle, that was what drew her. However, that is as far as she went. I called her name and assured her it was OK. So often, we see the yearning in her as she whimpers and hesitates. Yet, she always decides to back down. No matter how much we want to show her even more love, she simply will not let her guard down and fully let the love in. It's truly heartbreaking. She won't come near.

For several weeks now, I have continued to think about Fallon. Up until now, I hadn't gotten around to writing about her yet. Recently, it came into focus when I considered our own stray at our house. She is the perfect example of what it means to come near; to love and be loved. 

The stray at my house is a small little kitty (and that's basically what we call her; "little kitty"). She's little, but she loves much. This sweet little baby is frequently waiting on the steps when we get home. She mews and talks to us; yearning to be picked up. She could cuddle with you all day every day and never tire of it. It is the sole reason she comes to our house. We've set out a water dish (and she'll occasionally drink from it), but she turns up her nose any time we take pity on her and want to give her some scraps. I could be cooking some delicious meat, and she won't even want a taste of it. She rather prefers the tiny rodents she stalks and kills; and often brings their headless bodies to us as a "present." 

The neighbor's cat, "Muffins", also likes to visit us (he's a real big, beefy, and exotic looking cat that we usually just call "Fat Boy"). He also loves attention and cuddles; and will gladly take any food scraps that Little Kitty rejects. Little Kitty seems to get annoyed by his presence; often swatting at him so he doesn't interfere with her own cuddle time. Every day, she lets us know when she's at our doorstep. Even if the front door is closed, we can hear her mewing. When the air conditioner was still in the window, she would even hop on top of it so we could hear her even better at the living room window. If we didn't come outside and pay attention to her right away, she would often chill out behind a little bush beside our front door. Usually, there comes a point where we can't stand the pitiful mewing and sad eyes forever. I would feel especially bad for her if it was raining outside. This is what moved me to buy a cheap little "kitty house" on Amazon lol. We put it by her favorite bush so that she would have a waterproof/insulated place to be ("Fat Boy" tried to hone in on it too, but he was too hefty to get in and out of it lol). When I first showed her the kitty house, she was way too happy that I was outside petting her to fully check it out. I had to go indoors before she would actually go all the way inside it. Now, she goes in there a lot; and it makes me so happy to give it to her and that she loves it. Though, she immediately comes right out if any of us walk out the door. She can't help herself. She wants to show her love to us; and to be loved BY us. It's heart-melting. She always comes near. 

By now, you probably know where I'm going with this (and be sure to watch the short video if you want to see Fallon and Little Kitty in action). We have a Father in heaven that loves us SO MUCH!! He is our Good Shepherd; and we are His sheep. We are His, and He calls us by name (Isaiah 43:1, Isaiah 45:3, Isaiah 49:1). Like Fallon and Little Kitty, we have all been strays and orphans (Isaiah 53:6, John 14:18). Even when we are accepted into His family, sometimes we struggle to believe we're truly loved and that it's OK to come near. We hesitate to trust and embrace the safety of the One who wants to lavish His love and goodness on us because of past hurts and trauma. Perfect love casts out fear, but we have to be willing to surrender and let go. He is gentle and patient with us. In our "Fallon" moments, He will still love, provide, and pursue us; but He won't force us. It doesn't change how He feels about us if we won't come near, but ohhhhhhhhh how He LONGS for us to do so! What freedom there is in His perfect love! What joy! What peace!

How I wish Fallon would fully let love in! She'll accept the good gifts from the hand that feeds and provides for her, but not the heart behind it. Little Kitty is the opposite. She will petition and ask incessantly like the persistent widow in the Bible who asked for justice. She will not give up until her request is granted! She will accept good things from us, sure, but she most desires the heart and affections of the one she loves and is loved by. Oh my goodness, do we have any idea how THRILLED the Father must be when we hunger and thirst for Him in that same way?! I think about how delighted He must be when His children just want to come near. When we draw near to Him, He draws near to us (James 4:8). He can't possibly refuse! He knows we need and enjoy the blessings from His hand (like food and shelter). Though, how He must love the hearts that say: "even if I didn't have these things, You are enough for me. I just want you!" That's what Little Kitty has demonstrated to me. She just wants to be near us and with us. That's enough for her. That's the kind of heart I want to have too. To love and be loved by God, to be content with Him, that's enough. As Paul says: 

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. - Philippians 4:12-13.  

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I pray that you'll allow yourself to love and be loved by the Father. Don't miss out on the Father's heart! Don't be afraid to come near! Whatever hurts you have, He wants to heal it. You can trust Him! Love and be loved by Him; you won't regret it! God bless you! 

Sounding Like Love

A couple days ago, the verse of the day in the You Version Bible app was Matthew 5:44. It was very timely. This is because I had just been challenged to pray in that very way the day prior. Though, it was for someone who really wasn't my enemy, but someone who was supposedly on the same side. I don' t know about you, but that seems even harder. For me, it's easier to pray for someone who is rude and hateful when they're unbelievers; rather than those who claim to be a believer. The Pharisees who have "clanging cymbal" attitudes (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) are supposed to "know" better. However, that's just it. They "know" a lot, but how well do they truly "know" HIM? At the same time, however, I very much know what it's like to live in that trap/bondage of legalism, criticism, and judgment. Therefore, I end up reminding myself that I should have MORE compassion when I encounter people that act like a past version of myself (or even a current version when I have moments of regression). I feel embarrassed when I remember my own "clanging cymbal" moments because I know that my "knowing" of Jesus is so much sweeter and deeper than it used to be.  

In another "timely" moment, I realized just how much all of that had been solidified even more. This week, I have finished reading "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom (and also watched the movie and documentary on Prime). I am so struck by so many different things. One of which is how Corrie's sister, Betsie, had a burning heart to evangelize to the Nazis and fellow prisoners; even in the midst of her own suffering. She believed that if someone could be taught to hate, they could also be taught to love. She, Corrie, and their family lived lives that truly sought to imitate Christ. It makes Paul's words really make sense. He talks about being imitators of God; and also of himself as he imitates Christ (Ephesians 5:1, 1 Corinthians 11:1). The Ten Boom family are real life examples of people who did this well. It inspires me to love genuinely; because it's vitally important if we are going to demonstrate the life-changing power of the Gospel and how His love transforms and saves us.

In the past two Sundays at church, the focus has been on the fruit of the Spirit. I want to produce good fruit; and the fruit of the Spirit is something that only Christ can produce. My word, "abide", is key to that production; because my sinful flesh can produce no good thing. So, I prayed for this person (and myself) that the fruit of the Spirit would be what grows in our hearts. I prayed for the ability to love and see the person as Jesus sees them; remembering that I too have been a blind Pharisee and not known it. Even still, I know how easy that trap is and know human pride never makes me immune and guiltless of it. This is why we need to forgive as we have been forgiven and remember that the measure we use is also measured to us as well (Luke 6:36-38). We can deceive ourselves like the rich young ruler with all the rules and good deeds, but there are ALWAYS going to be areas where we are lacking. For that, it requires honesty, surrender, repentance, and obedience to the will of Christ. 

I must choose to overcome evil with good and be kind; for love covers a multitude of sins. I must be a better imitation of the One to which I'm committed to conforming to. People MUST see more of Him and less of myself (John 3:30). I cannot allow the light in me to actually be darkness (Matthew 6:23). I don't want to just make a bunch of noise. I want to be a sweet, melodious, and beautiful sound! That can only happen if I'm filled and fueled by the love of Jesus. I want to be defined by what love is in 1 Corinthians 13; not by what it isn't.

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Pray, surrender, repent, and abide. May we be transformed every day by the renewing of our minds so we can love like Jesus. God bless you!

A Label of Love

For those that knew Randy Walgamuth, several thoughts probably come to mind. They're likely the kind of thoughts that end up in the comments of every Facebook post from Ink Free News that feature his name and mug shot. But for every remark and label that the general public of our community has stuck on him, there are many more that most have failed to mention. This failure is not only due to ignorance, but to the tragic reality that so many people (including believers in Christ) neglect to see an image bearer of God the way the Father sees him.

For this reason, I felt it was vitally important to give you a glimpse of the Randy that most will never know. It's the Randy that Jesus told stories about; a living example of the heart of the Father and what the Gospel is all about. He's the perfect picture of God's mercy; the one that the Lord left the 99 sheep to find (Matthew 18:12-14, Luke 15:4-7). This man taught me more about the love and mercy of God than I could ever learn from any evangelist or Bible teacher; and it has marked me for life.

I have worked at The Salvation Army since 2014. Early on, I was like most people. I couldn't understand why he made the choices that he did. Chronically homeless and addicted, he lived out on the streets and in the woods; and sometimes in the homeless shelter. I've seen so many people (and agencies in addition to ours) invest in him. I'll never get over how much personal time and resources my own boss, Ken Locke, spent on him. No matter how busy or drained he was, he still went above and beyond for Randy like he was his own brother.

Admittedly, however, I used to feel frustrated. Randy constantly made demands and expected everyone to do and give what he needed without delay or hesitation. He also seemed oblivious to the fact that even those who had to be tough with him (whether it was a police officer, judge, etc.) actually cared about him and were way more lenient than he deserved. Countless cups of coffee, food, clothing, rides, etc. were given to him by numerous people, agencies, and strangers. The time and personal sacrifices didn't seem to sink in and make him grateful; nothing about his lifestyle changed and it usually just got worse. So many times, he was in and out of jail (and the hospital as well). In all my prayers for him, I finally lost it one time as I was thinking about the fact that he got all that medical care, but I (a tax paying and law-abiding citizen) had no health insurance. God changed my heart with one phrase, "Melissa, this could be his reward in full."

His reward in full. It broke me. I couldn't get over it. If the most reward he would ever get would be all the things that he gets now, how sad and frightening would that be?! What good would it do me to be angry that he was taking so much now when I would be getting an inheritance for eternity that he may never get to be a part of? Am I really going to be mad about the fact that he got the temporary care for his earthly body that I didn't? What good is it to gain any advantage on Earth but lose your soul (Matthew 16:26, Mark 8:36)? Was I really going to be that jealous brother in the prodigal son story?

That's when things shifted for me; not just in how I saw Randy, but in how I saw everyone. It is so easy to be angry at others when they have something we don't, behave in terrible ways, and even get away with things that they shouldn't. Yet, God sees them the same way He sees us. He forgives their great debt and expects us to do likewise (Matthew 18:21-35). Randy had a record and reputation that everyone could see and judge; and yet God loved and wanted him. I realized just how truly merciful and loving the Father has to be in order to continually and relentlessly pursue this lost sheep of his. If He loves Randy SO MUCH to keep rescuing him and giving him countless second chances, how much more grateful should I be as a child of God? ALL OF US have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Who among us ISN'T a Randy? We have all sinned; and yet, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Every single one of us is a sheep that has strayed. I too have behaved in terrible ways; offending God and others. I can't imagine what my own rap sheet must look like, how great my debt must be, and how much I have truly been forgiven. God has been merciful to me and has spared me from lots of things that I deserved (both here and in eternity) and gave me mercy that I do NOT deserve. The Good Shepherd gave His life for every one of us lost sheep so that we would return to Him and be reconciled through Him (Isaiah 53:6, John 3:16-17, 1 Peter 2:25). I've accepted Christ and am safe. Jesus wanted Randy safe too and this is the verse He reminded me of every single time: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. - 2 Peter 3:9 (NIV).

Left Side Back Row: Friends, Randy and Larry, (both are now home with the Lord).

In what few years I have known Randy, I saw him soften. He even frequently attended church at The Salvation Army (and on more than one occasion, donated his cigarette lighter in the offering plate). I have watched prayers be answered; even when he would tell us outright NOT to “pray too hard” for him. We prayed all the more; and it obviously worked! I saw Randy experience the heart of God through each act of love, mercy, and kindness (even if he didn't recognize it). God moved on the hearts of so many people to share the Gospel, their time, money, and resources. Ken has always said, "No one has heard the Gospel more times than Randy Walgamuth." Every act of compassion sowed a seed; and God was even more patient than we were to see them grow. Year after year, Ken would say, "I don't think he's going to make it through another winter." We dreaded the day that he would be found frozen outside or something worse.

The "something worse" was cancer. Again, no one thought he would last as long as he did. Once more, God showed His amazing love and mercy. Randy didn't suffer alone outside. The last year or two, he was either at The Fellowship Mission, the hospital, or hospice. No doubt the staff was amazed at how many visitors Randy had these past few months. I think he finally understood how to give and receive love. For the first time, he said to me, "I love you, Melissa." I was amazed to hear him say it! "I love you too, Randy." I assured him that there were so many people that did and that God loved him even more. I asked him if he confessed and believed in Christ as Lord. He said, "Yes. Yes I do, Melissa." I don't think any of us saw some big emotional/radical change, but we all believe that on whatever level his mind could still understand, he believed and was making his peace. In fact, that is what Ken assured me of. He said that he had never seen Randy so at peace.

I have many more things I could share; and they're only a fraction of the many testimonies that I know others have. People that have known him a lifetime have told me about how much he has been through; even as a kid growing up. Pain and trauma take a toll. I wonder what his life would have been like if his childhood had been different. It makes me sad to think about what his life has been like and how he's the very last of what family he had (even his only child passed in recent years). Despite all the darkness, the light still won out. Jesus shone through so many people that Randy couldn't hide from it. God had His way. Randy couldn't tune out the knocking at the door. None of us may know for sure when/how he opened that door to Jesus, but we believe that he finally let Him in.....and that Christ welcomed Randy into heaven. We love you, Randy! Thank you for all that you taught us! Until we meet again!

Update: Click here to read an additional post of my thoughts after Randy's funeral.

What's "Inside" and "Staying Woke"

The poem (minus the man's name for privacy reasons).

Just a few minutes before our office closed today, a man walked in; a man I don't recall ever seeing before. I said "hello" and asked what I could do for him. He said, "I wrote a poem today. You want it?" My brain was kind of stuck for a second because it obviously wasn't a typical or expected statement/request. I said, "Uh...yeah...sure." What else could I say?! I figured it would be best to be polite and humor him. I also had a twinge of curiosity and a vague sense that this was something God ordained; as if Jesus Himself were asking "do you want what I have for you today?" I wasn't going to say "no" to a message from the Lord; even if, by chance, I wouldn't like it!

He took out a pen and paper and started writing. I was still intrigued, but a little nervous. I was second guessing my "yes" because his demeanor suggested that maybe he wasn't quite with it. I had doubts as to whether or not this "poem" was going to be anything legible, coherent, or even appropriate. I decided that no matter what, I would just smile, nod, and thank him for sharing. I assured myself that it was going to be ok and that this was going to be meaningful in some way.

He handed me the piece of paper and I started to read it. As I deciphered the words, I wasn't fully grasping or digesting it all yet. I was hoping I didn't look weirded out or confused; I didn't want to offend him. He asked me if he should submit it to the newspaper and I just said, "Yeah, sure. Go ahead and take it to them." I tried to hand the paper back to him and he told me that that copy was mine; that he had wanted to bring it to me first (I don't know if he meant it specifically for me or for our office as a whole...but it works either way). I was still kind of stupefied by the random event and could only manage to be like, "Oh, ok. Thanks!" 

As soon as he left, I slowly read it a few more times. The more I read and studied each word, the more it dawned on me that it really was a message from the Lord for me. I had so many questions to ask that man, but he was already gone. I just sat there for a few minutes; contemplating and crying. I was amazed; wishing I would have asked him more about what inspired him and caused him to bring that word to me! That's because I had been trying to sort out some thoughts and feelings earlier in the day; regarding the very issue that he named! Not only does my work at the Salvation Army deal with those entrenched in alcoholism, but there are friends and family members in my life that are affected by it as well.

I doubt there is a single person out there who isn't being affected by someone's alcoholism, drug addiction, rage addiction, gambling addiction, etc. Whether it's someone close to you (or even yourself) this "poem"describes us all. Inside every person who does the destructive action is the condition/addiction at work inside of them (which reminds me of what Paul talks about in Romans 7:14-25). Alcohol, drugs, behavioral patterns, bad choices, cycles, and evil spirits are all contributing factors to these strongholds. However, underneath it all is a PERSON... the REAL self. It's the human being that's been forgotten, buried, suppressed, stifled, and hidden beneath the mess. It reminds me of something Kanye West recently said: 

I’d say when you go to sleep, would you agree that you are asleep when you’re asleep? And when you wake up, would you agree that you’re awake when you’re awake? Would you agree that those are two different states? People who don’t believe are walking dead. They are asleep and this is the awakening.

Those whose souls are lost (or who are in bondage in some way) are asleep... real life "walking dead." They are in a spiritual coma. Somewhere deep "inside," they are aware and wanting/trying to wake up but...they can't or won't. Maybe they're actively trying to break through, stir, and open their eyes; or maybe they're not. Either way, they are still there; even if it's just a shell of a person who is almost too far gone. Almost. As long as there's still breath, there's still Hope; there's still Jesus! 

Finding JOY again in the midst of tough emotions

This poem was the answer to the cries and burdens of my heart! I am so grateful for the messenger that God sent to me! Lately (particularly today) it has been a struggle; a maddening, frustrating, saddening, struggle. It all eventually reaches a boiling point that feels like something beyond what I can tolerate. Exhausted by emotions, I tearfully fall apart and wonder how I'm supposed to continue empathizing. How can I come back to a "relation point" in order to continue extending grace, mercy, and forgiveness to those whom I just want to shake and say "WAKE UP!!!" ?! Even when I make the choice to be led by the Spirit, my sin nature screams inside for justice and all my "feelings" collide into each other and nag at me. I tell myself to grin and bear it as I help the homeless man who is demanding that we drop everything for him and meet his needs; and then abuses whatever "help" he gets and continues to suffer the health consequences due to always picking up the bottle. I tell myself to keep on "helping" him and others; even though they don't appreciate or deserve it (after all, this may be all the kindness and "reward" they'll ever get). I try to tell myself not to get mad at that selfish and ungrateful friend or family member that squanders every act of kindness or "second chance" that they get; spitting in our faces and lying/betraying us at every turn with no remorse or repentance. I suck it up and prepare myself to keep sacrificing more and turning the other cheek because the Bible says love perseveres and never

This was the "verse of the day" in my Bible app.

fails. I want to act in faith and love; yielding to the Lord out of worship and obedience to Christ. I have to take my thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and choose it; even though my "feelings" are raging and screaming "I'm sick of this! It's not fair! Why won't they stop and why aren't they reaping what they've sown? Where are the consequences and justice? How much worse does it have to get before they hit the so-called rock bottom?!" Every lamenting Psalm in the Bible echoes my questions and pleas; reminding me that the Lord is as merciful as He is just. He hears us crying out; just like the story of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8). He's going to take care of all of it. In the meantime, it's vital to contend for the "awakening" and healing of every person; and continue overcoming evil with good (Romans 12:9-21). Prayer and compassion wins out; not hate, bitterness, and vengeance.

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I'll keep saying "yes" to the Spirit; and I hope you will too! I'll keep saying "yes" to love, compassion, and mercy. Even if the pouting, disgusted, disgruntled, and agitated sinful nature inside me whines and protests, I'll keep praying for Jesus to put my inner "Scrappy Doo" ("let me at 'em!" lol) in her place. It's a constant struggle to get my "feelings" to match my actions. However, as long as I still CHOOSE the facts and promises over my feelings, I won't "gratify the desires of my sinful flesh" (Galatians 5:16). I'll be kind and compassionate; forgiving as Christ forgave me (Ephesians 4:32). I'll remember this day (and this poem) forever; a reminder to "stay woke" so that I won't have to be like the ones that I'm hoping to see awakened from their own sleep. Amen! God bless you!

Crazy Haired Jesus Freak!

I love how God shows up and allows me to be a part of something unexpected during ordinary tasks of my day! Today, I needed to stop by a mailbox on my way home to drop off some letters. The closest one on my route was at Walmart (the ONLY reason I ever go there lol). I parked the van and walked towards the store. As I was walking, I passed a gentleman as he was getting ready to load stuff into his truck. I felt that "holy nudge" (as the Newsboys call it) in my heart. I felt like maybe God wanted me to pray for him. I was about half-way to the mailbox, so I thought if I was really supposed to approach him, there would be a chance after I walked back. I dropped off the letters and started back towards my van.

The man was just starting to look for where he should return his cart. I came up to him and told him I would take it for him. He was friendly. He thanked me and let me take it. I noticed his patriotic hat, so I asked him if he had served in the military (because I make it a habit of thanking a veteran every time I see one). He said no, and that he just barely missed Vietnam. Then, I asked him if I could pray for him because I felt like the Lord wanted me to. He was completely open and responsive to it and I asked him if he had any needs or something weighing on his heart. He said he couldn't think of anything specific, so I asked if I could put my hand on his shoulder and just say a prayer of blessing over him. I asked for his name and I thanked God for him and prayed over his health, home, family, needs, etc. When I finished, he brought up his newborn grandson that is at Riley's. I prayed again; for healing and that this baby would bring glory to God for the purpose for which he was created and born into this world.

After that, we talked for a little bit. He said he was in his 60's and that it was nice to see young people willing to share their faith. He asked me how old I was and I told him 35. He said he wouldn't have guessed it and thought I was in my 20's. I was like, "yessssssss" lol. ;) I told him that my oldest child's birthday was today and that he was 15. I also shared that he was born hearing impaired and autistic. I encouraged him that just as God has used him for his glory, his grandson would be used for the Kingdom too. We agreed that there are no accidents, and I shared about the Activ8 youth conference at my church this past weekend; particularly about and how Jeremiah Carlson shared about his experiences in his life and that all of it is being used for God's glory. He emphasized that while there are mistakes, there are no accidents. None of us are accidents; even if we "happened" by "mistake". God plans everything. We're all meant to be here. He encouraged the kids that they were all God's masterpieces....created on purpose for a purpose. All things (good and bad) can and will be used for God's glory (Romans 8:28).

Crazy hair, and crazy about Jesus!

The funniest part about this encounter happened when we were discussing God's purpose for meeting today. He said he felt like God was using it to tell him not to judge a book by its cover. He explained that his generation doesn't always know what to think about mine (tats, piercings, etc.) and that he didn't know what to think about my brightly colored hair when I first walked by. I laughed and told him, "you probably thought, 'she needs Jesus'," and we got a good laugh out of that. I told him it reminded me of a Max Lucado piece that I read years ago where he talked about how he prematurely (and mistakenly) judged a family by how they looked. I encourage you to take a second to read it (it's short!). It's called "Label or Love?" where he says: "I'd applied the label before examining the contents. We've all used labels. We stick them on jars and manila folders so we'll know what's inside. We also stick them on people for the same reason....it's easier to label than to love." 

I also shared with him about a similar message that I saw on Facebook recently. It was a short video message from Joyce Meyer (again, take a minute to check it out..so worth it and so funny!) where she talked about the way people judge others based on their tattoos, piercings, hair, etc. I told him about how my Mom didn't like my hair (though, ironically, she was the one that originally forwarded that Max Lucado article to me lol) and that my Dad didn't really care for it either....and that he jokingly asked me if I was a barbarian when I got my nose and tongue piercings. I pointed out the fact that nose rings have their place in the Bible. Read about the nose ring that Rebekah received when she was chosen as a wife for Isaac (and Joyce referenced Ezekiel 16 and talked about not being "baptized in prune juice" and that legalism isn't holiness). I told him that there's lots of styles of hair, piercings, and tats that I don't like either (I really don't fancy ear gauging) but that it's all just that.... different styles. Everyone has different ways of expression and personal preferences. I explained that God had told me years ago, "It's all about the heart, Melissa" and that it's something that has permanently stuck in my mind and helped me so much in my life. I reiterated that I have met many passionate people for Christ that have a creative/colorful hairstyle, or that have nose rings like me (including our youth conference speaker)."Crazy" hair, tattoos, piercings, etc. are just the "packaging" of a person. You have no way of judging the motives of someone's heart by their outsides! Like the Pharisees, a clean cup on the outside could have a very filthy inside; or a dirty and unattractive exterior could have a pure interior (Mathew 23:25-26, Luke 11:39) You just don't know...only God knows. We see the outside, but God sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

I got a big hug from him before we parted ways and he said he'd be sure to talk to me again if he ever saw me. I told him about my job at the Salvation Army and encouraged him to stop by and say hello sometime. I shared about how much I loved my job and that I get to smile and welcome people in, pray for them, and just love on them. I also told him that there have been four drive-thru workers that I've been moved to prayed for recently and that only one of them refused. You just have to say "yes" to God and he'll let you be part of something when you cooperate!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I hope you're as inspired and encouraged as I am! I couldn't stop thanking and praising God for allowing me to be part of it as I drove home! I really wanted to put this out there today because I love sharing moments like this (and reading/hearing about others' moments as well). Who doesn't love a good "God story"?! We need to read encouraging stuff like this; and to be inspired to be PART of these moments as well! It really isn't hard to obey a simple prompt from God. I have so many of these awesome moments that I could be blogging about, but I would be writing non-stop if I shared them all! I am so blessed to be a part of God's Kingdom work! I feel so honored that He would include me and choose me to interact with people like this! The good news is, He wants to include ALL of us! You can be part of it too! Just listen....and then do it! Keep on listening and loving well! Ask God to open you up to love better and bigger; to give you HIS eyes to see, ears to hear, and heart to listen and love others (watch "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath!). Be receptive to Him and He just might let you have a peek at someone's beautiful heart when you step out of your box to connect with them! That crazy haired, tattooed, pierced hooligan may just be crazy about Jesus too. ;) She could be a crazy haired Jesus freak....like me! God bless you!

Being a Force for Good

Today is the National Day of Prayer. It's also Star Wars Day (may the fourth be with you!). At first, it felt odd and awkward that these two days are sharing the spotlight. After thinking about it, however, I see how it's very fitting.

Every day, we need Jesus more than yesterday. His mercy, grace, joy, and peace are all things that we desperately need; even more than the air we breathe. Without Him, we have no hope...because He IS hope....our "only hope." Ponder these verses from Lamentations 3:22-24:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

 

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

Let that sink in. Because of His unfailing love and compassion, we are not consumed. The dark side of this world can't eat us alive or rob us of the victory that was accomplished on the cross. Every new day is a fresh new display of His faithfulness and goodness. He renews and restores our souls and gives us our portion of grace for the day; whatever that daily bread looks like, He provides it like He did the manna for the Israelites.

We live in a time where it's easy to become discouraged and depressed. We look at the sith lords in power and feel like we'll forever be dominated by greed, power, and war. Yes, tyranny and injustice is hard to witness; but we do not have to be consumed by it. The previous verses remind us of where our hope and joy is found and Psalm 23 tells us who takes care of us. The government doesn't have our backs (and probably never will) but the Lord, our Good Shepherd, always does!

If we truly want to see change, we have to go to the source: our hearts. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, the ever popular verse for this day, we see how to do that: 

 

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves 

and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, 

then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

 

Don't just glaze over the words here. There is some HEAVY stuff in it and we won't see change until we're truly putting these commands into practice. We need to HUMBLE ourselves; that means surrendering and laying down our pride. We need to pray; opening our hearts listen and obey as we earnestly seek His face. That means, pursuing Him, knowing Him, and obeying Him and His commands. That's where the next part comes in; turning away from our wicked ways (repentance). Only then can He heal our land when we confess and repent of our sins and ask for forgiveness. It doesn't matter what the government makes legal or illegal. What matters is that WE obey God and repent from our own wickedness. If we SEEK Him in prayer and in His Word, we will KNOW what is right and wrong. We will see things change because people will be living according to God's commands even if they're not the "law of the land."

If there's anything that we can learn from Star Wars, it's that there is always going to be evil and conflict in this fallen world. We should keep fighting the good fight until our dying breath (1 Timothy 6:12, 2 Timothy 4:7). Jesus already gave us the victory and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Keep your armor on (Ephesians 6:10-18) and stay connected with other believers; no one is meant to fight alone! To battle the darkness around us, and within us, remember 1 John 4:4: 

 

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, 

because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

 

This One that is in you, friends, is the Holy Spirit! He's always with you and never leaves you. He is supreme, sovereign, perfect, and REAL! He's beyond anything "the Force" could ever be....and He's living in YOU! Isn't that amazing?! Or, if you have yet to know Him (and would like to invite Him into your heart) please don't wait any longer! Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead. Accept and believe in Him as your Savior and you will be saved (Romans 10:9-10)! Confess your sins to Him; He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Your name will be recorded in the Book of Life and the Holy Spirit will come to live in your heart right away! He's the deposit guaranteeing what is to come!! You will belong to Jesus and His family! Be sure you contact me (or another strong Christian friend that you know) and tell them about your decision for Christ so that you will have someone to walk with you on your journey and help you take your next steps of faith!

 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! We are a "force" for good in this world when we are living according to the Spirit (Romans 8:3-5). Let's pray hard today, and every day; surrendering ourselves to the will of God as we repent and seek His face! Amen!

 

 

Once Upon A Time (S1, Ep2): The Thing You Love Most

Henry watched as the clock started working again at 8:15 once Emma decided to stay. Others notice it too as they are going about their day the next morning; including Regina. She heard the clock chime as she was confronting Henry about his Fairy Tale book that she had been looking through; some of the pages were missing. Though, she considered it no more a threat than Emma; until she notices that Emma's car is still in town. She pays her a visit at the hotel; bringing her a basket of apples from her tree as a parting gift for her drive home. Emma says that she's decided to stay for a while to make sure Henry is ok. Being threatened by Regina has made her all the more determined to stay. Regina assures her that he's fine and has been in therapy. "Don't underestimate me Ms. Swan," Regina says."You have no idea what I'm capable of."

Later, Henry is walking with Emma on his way to school and tells him that their mission is to break the curse and he code names the mission "Operation Cobra". He says that time has been frozen until she got there and that everyone has forgotten who they are and are walking around in a haze. He shows her the missing pages from the book (that show her as the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming) and says that his Mom should never see them and know who she is. Emma talks to Henry's teacher, Mary Margaret, as he goes into school and learns that Henry believes her to be Snow White. She asks her where she can find Henry's therapist and she goes to see Archie.

Emma talks to Archie about Henry and his Fairy Tale obsession. Archie voluntarily gives Henry's file to Emma so she can read about things for herself. He urges her to be careful about labeling him as "crazy" or "destroying his belief system" because it's how he deals with things. He calls Regina when Emma leaves and says that he gave her the file. Later, Graham (the sheriff), shows up at Emma's door with charges that she demanded Henry's files from Archie and took them by force when he refused. He arrests her and takes her back to jail. However, Henry brings Mary Margaret with him to bail her out after he learns from his Mom what happened. Emma promptly decides to go to Regina's and pay her back for the frame job by cutting off a part of her prized apple tree. She says if she comes after her again, she'll come after the rest of the tree and tells her the same thing Regina told her earlier: "You have no idea what I am capable of."

Emma returns to the hotel and Granny informs her that she received a call that reminded her that there was a city ordinance "no felons rule" that prevented her from staying there. Emma begins gathering her things while Regina is busy gathering the apples strewn about the yard and telling Graham that she wants Emma arrested for what she's done to city property. He confronts her about the set up and she denies it while threatening to take away the sheriff position that she gave to him in the first place. He says that he could arrest her again, but that the two of them will just keep going back and forth and that the one who would ultimately get hurt is Henry; no matter how much she insists that all of this is to protect him. Regina calls Emma over to her house to talk and make "peace." Henry overhears Emma expressing her concerns to Regina about his inability to distinguish fantasy from reality and that it's "crazy." Henry runs off and Emma realizes that once again, she's been set up.

Emma goes to Mary Margaret's to pay her back the bail money. Mary Margaret can see that she's distressed and invites her in to talk. Emma says that she thinks she should leave, but Mary Margaret says that that's the very reason why she should stay. She knows that she cares about Henry and asks her "who will protect Henry if you won't?" Emma decides to go find Henry at  his therapy session with Archie and she explains to him that she doesn't think he's crazy, but that the curse is. She says it's a lot to believe in, but there are a lot of crazy things out there so maybe it is true. Regardless, she tells him that she told his Mom what she needed to hear and that one has to trick the evil queen into thinking that they are non-believers and throw her off the trail. She agrees with him that the pages he showed her are dangerous and she throws them into the fire. Henry brightens up and tells her that he knows she is here to help him. She assures him that nothing will stop her from that.

Meanwhile, Mr. Gold comes to see Regina as she is surveying her apple tree once again. He tells her that he just seen Emma and Henry strolling around together and that if she had a problem with Ms. Swan, she should have come to him for help. She said she wasn't in the business of making deals with him anymore and he asks about which deal she was referring to. He then mentions the fact that he had arranged for her to have Henry and then complimented her on her name choice, "However did you pick it?" She questions him as to whether he wanted Ms. Swan to come to town and insinuates that finding Henry was no accident. Mr. Gold plays innocent and excuses himself; but not before saying "please" and taking a bite of one of her apples.

Looking back into the Fairy Tale World, we are shown what happened in the time leading up to the curse. Regina had made her vow of destruction; and planned to accomplish it through a dark curse. Though, she traded it away for Maleficent's sleeping curse (which failed) and needs to get it back. The mirror, and her father, warn her that Maleficent is not going to be happy to see her. The Queen remarks, "Since when do I care about anyone else's happiness but mine?" She decides to go and see Maleficent anyways and get her curse back. Maleficent reminds her that the curse is no longer hers and that it can't bring her loved one back from the dead and to consider the comfort of a pet, like the pony she has, instead. "The only comfort for me is Snow White's suffering," Regina says. Maleficent continues to withhold it from her and says it's a monstrosity and that whomever created it makes even the two of them look "moral". At last, Regina can wait no longer and she overpowers Maleficent with her magic; playing on the fact that Maleficent would save her pet when caught in the warpath of the magic. "Love is weakness, Maleficent. I thought you knew that," Regina says. Maleficent waits for Regina to take her life, but she tells her that she's her only friend and spares her. Maleficent pleads with her not to use the curse: "There are lines even we shouldn't cross. All power comes with a price. Enacting it will take a terrible toll. It will leave an emptiness inside you; a void you will never be able to fill." Regina takes it and says, "So be it."

Regina needs the locks of hair from the "darkest souls" and summons some fellow villainous creatures to give her what she needs. The only other thing she has to add is the heart of something she treasures; which she has the heart of her prized steed. However, it proves not to be effective. Her father says it's for the best, and that "Revenge is a dark and lonely road. Once you go down it, there is no heading back." Regina claims she has nothing to go back to and decides that she will have to go see Rumplestiltskin; the one who gave her the curse. She tells him that it's not working. He says she sounds as worried as Snow and Charming who are fearful of it. He tells her that nothing can stop it except for their unborn child and warns the queen that "no matter how powerful, all curses can be broken" and that "their child is the key." Regina demands to know what she did wrong, and of course Rumplestiltskin insists on a deal first. He demands comfort and a good life in the land that follows and that if he should ever come to her for any reason, she has to heed his every request and do whatever he says, "so long as I say 'please'". She tells him he won't remember anything anyways and agrees. He proceeds to tell her that the heart of a steed isn't even close to good enough. "This is the curse to end all curses" he says. "Great power requires great sacrifice." He tells her the heart must come from something far more precious..."the heart of the thing you love most." She insists what she loved most died because of Snow White. "Is there no one else you truly love?" he asks. "This curse isn't gonna be easy. Vengeance never is, dearie. You have to ask yourself a simple question: how far are you willing to go?" Regina tells him that she is willing to go "as far as it takes."

Regina tells her father what she has to do and he realizes that that means his death. He tells her that she doesn't have to do it and to move past it. Regina insists that Snow's very existence mocks her, is eating her alive, and that Snow must be punished. Her father says, "If the price is a hole that will never be filled, why do it? Stop worrying about Snow White and start over. We can have a new life." Regina claims that all her power and everything she built will be gone. Her father tells her that "power is seductive, but so is love. You can have that again." Regina sobs and says she just wants to be happy. Her father assures her that she can be and that they can find it together, but that the choice is hers. Regina thinks for a moment, "I can be happy; just not here. I'm sorry." Sadly, she does the unthinkable and he falls to the ground.

Regina once again tries to reenact the curse and this time, she apparently succeeds. She then puts a rose on her father's grave with the name "Henry" on it.

*****

I mentioned in the previous blog that I wasn't intending to make these entries that long. Though, for the benefit of those who haven't seen the episodes, I've decided to keep on recapping them as best as I can. If you've already seen them (and want to skip the details) just read the stuff that I post here at the end.

The theme in this episode is obviously "revenge." As anyone with any experience knows, revenge definitely isn't as simple and sweet as one hopes it will be. It takes from you more than anything you hope it will give. True satisfaction and relief (from the pain that caused the need for revenge) is found in the healing power of forgiveness. However, this is something that a lot of people (like the Queen) do not understand. Happiness isn't brought about by causing other people to suffer. Attempting to make other people "pay" for the wrongs they have done never achieves the results we desire. It never fills that "void" and it only creates a thirst for more that is never satisfied. The cycle of pain only continues and more layers of pain and suffering are added. Things continue to spiral out of control until, ultimately, you destroy yourself (and often other casualties around you that you never intended). Indeed, there are some lines that shouldn't be crossed. Revenge will take its toll and come at a terrible price. While seeking to make others pay, we will be the ones that end up paying. That is why God urges us to forgive, love our enemies, and overcome evil with good; allowing God to avenge us and deal out justice (Matthew 5:42-44, Luke 6:27-35, Romans 12:19-21).

Hate is a powerful and destructive force. I think just about anyone can concur with that. However, the ones that call good "evil" and evil "good" are the most dangerous kind (Isaiah 5:20-21). It's a scary thing when those that act out of spite think they are acting out in love. In an effort to protect what's "ours" and avenge, we forget what the essence of love truly is. In 1 Corinthians 13, love is described as a virtuous thing; full of patience and kindness. TRUE LOVE protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and is unfailing. What love does NOT do is envy, boast, or delight in evil. It's not prideful, dishonoring, selfish, angry, or unforgiving. Therefore, it should be clear which way is better. One path is full of life, promise, and fulfillment. The other, a dark road that poisons the heart and is full of death and destruction. Is it any wonder that vengeance doesn't ever make one feel any better?

Like the quote from Rumplestiltskin, "Great power requires great sacrifice." That applies to either path. To truly love unselfishly and unconditionally is a powerful thing that does require great sacrifice (like Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross). Likewise, sacrifices are made in the quest for vengeance as well; which are usually far more unpleasant and aren't worth whatever "power" they may bring. To love or to hate; which truly profits more? A clear head and a good heart are needed to tell the difference. Think (and pray) before you choose/act; for one's words and actions have the power to hurt or heal. They are truly life and death decisions.

Grace and peace to all of you! May God grant us all the wisdom and virtue to make good choices that enhance and enrich our lives; not destroy them. God bless you!

"I Love My Mom Because..."

Mother’s Day was like most holidays have been in this past year; emotional and painful. Nothing’s the same as it used to be (which is both a blessing and a curse). Besides that, I’ve never really felt like I’ve been that great of a Mom; especially when there are those that do so much more and are those Betty Crocker Moms or something. I know no one can do it all, but I feel even more inadequate considering the fact that I’m a working/single Mom now (and that I’ve ultimately failed my kids). I know it’s not true, but I’ve always wanted the best for them and even though some will argue that leaving an abusive home IS the best thing for them (and me) it still hurts that our family couldn’t be saved.

The kids have adjusted better than I have. I’m getting there, but I know it’s still a process. It always seems like there’s a lot on my shoulders. Thank goodness for family and friends that help shoulder the load (I appreciate it immensely!). And, thank goodness for the simple little things that touch my heart and remind me that even though the kids act up and seem like they don’t need me sometimes, they do care. I love the sweet little things that they made for me; all the little cards and art projects. I think the one I’m going to share with you is going to be the one that stands out the most because it’s Casey’s own thoughts put to paper. It is a “Top 10” list of why he loves me and they had to fill in the blanks at school. Here it is (and in his own/exact words lol):

10. I love my mom because she reads me: a dinosaur story.
  9. I love my mom because she helps me: clan up my room.
  8. I love my mom when she makes me laugh by: silly story.
  7. I love my mom because she taught me how to: ride a bike.
  6. I love to hear my mom sing: chrch song.
  5. I love my mom because she finds time to: play wit me.
  4. I know my mom cares because she: know she pick me up.
  3. I know my mom is smart because she: play dino hunt.
  2. I love my mom because she works so hard at: Walmart.
  1. I love my mom because she’s the best mom ever!

                                                             Love: Casey

Finally! It’s like he’s really communicating how he feels and what means most to him! Sometimes, it’s hard to know what matters most when they don’t have the word power to really say it. Even though Mommy doesn’t really like big scary dinosaurs with sharp teeth (oh, how I miss the days of Thomas the Tank Engine and his nice happy smiling face lol) he’s saying that he likes it when I care about the things he cares about and when I show interest in it by sharing it with him. It’s been a while since we went on a dino hunt, so maybe next time I will think of the dinos as being pretty, pink, and sparkly. Then, maybe it will seem more appealing (or I could think of how fashionable it would be if one could carry a dino skin purse - how trendy!).

The things that got me most (which made me teary as well as made me laugh) is when he said I work hard at Walmart (hey, I DO lol!!). I’m glad that he recognizes my efforts and that he’s proud of me. It also thrills me that he recognizes my love for him in the form of my dependability/responsibility in picking him up and being there for him.

The other  pleasant surprise was the bike comment. I had always thought that Mitch would be the one to teach Casey how to ride a bike. I thought it was a father/son thing. So, even though I was proud to teach him, it made me a little sad at the same time (sadder still when I texted “Daddy” a picture and Casey was like: “Daddy will be happy to see me ride!” and he made no comment or showed that he even cared or was proud of our son).

Last but not least, the fact that Casey likes to hear me sing “church songs” moved me. Actually, I can’t even remember the last time I sang a “church song”. However, he’s said recently that he likes to hear me sing. Lots of times, Gianna and I sing the “Rapunzel songs” together and he will tell me how pretty I sing. I’m just glad that he apparently values songs of faith; and faith in general. No matter how he has acted up (and grown up) lately, he still has that sweet and tender heart! I want a heart like that!

I truly love my kids so much! I may not always be the best Mom in the world, but I try; and truly want to keep trying to be a better one so I can keep learning more reasons why my kids “love my mom because”.

God bless each and every one of you Moms and your children; and our hearts go out to the broken hearted Moms who struggle in some form or another (whether it be some form of child loss or childlessness). Love and grace to you all!

Faith Isn't Cheesy!

Sometimes, I just get that nudge inside that something has to be blogged. It’s a sense of urgency that has the feel of, “this is going to change someone’s life…I must share it NOW!” Though, usually, that someone is me. Whether anything I ever post helps anyone else or not, I’m always assured that God’s Word never returns empty (Isaiah 55:11). So, at the very least, it always does this poor soul some good! 

Oh, how I’ve missed this! I have a “welcome home” kind of feeling right now! It’s been months since I have blogged (my friend, Shane, pointed out that I am so far behind!). It‘s not intentional, but my life has changed so much in the past three months and I haven’t had the time to do many of the things I used to do. So, just a quick synopsis, for those who don’t know, before I get to the subject of what inspired this entry:

On July 8th, the day after my birthday, my children and I were forced to move out. We moved in with my Dad and step-mom and have been trying to adjust to our new life ever since. The kids seem happy and content, but Mommy is having a harder time. It’s difficult to adapt to so many things all at once and figure out how to cope and heal after spending over ten years of my life with the one I thought was going to love me forever. I had always thought (and been told) that I am a strong person, but I have never felt more weak and broken than I do right now. Though, what little faith I have left tells me that I will be eventually be ok; and the prayers and support of many keep me hanging on and give me hope (even if I’m only hanging on by a thread). So, please know that I am thankful for all of you who are helping me hold my head up! You all know who you are, but just to name a few, a BIG thanks to my Dad and Lauri (for whom I do not have enough words to thank or express my gratitude! THANK YOU for your support in every way and for being our refuge and safe place!), my Mom, Nat, and Ryan (whose love and support from afar is a comfort to me no matter how great the miles), and my Grandma Sauers who continues to amaze me with all she is able to give of herself (you are so brave to tackle the task of caring for Gianna when needed lol). To every single one of the rest of my loving family, I cherish and appreciate you as well! Thank you!! Also, my AMAZING friends (particularly - but certainly not limited to - Adam, Jama, Shane, Amy, April, Mama Saun, Facebook friends, co-workers, and Casey’s teachers). I would not survive this without you (and thank you for being true friends)! I am eternally grateful for your love, prayers, wisdom, support, and even the laughter you bring to my life when I need it the most!! I love you! OXOXO Oh, and to my haters, I am thankful for you too! I forgive you and you make me stronger, and I bless you!

And now, to talk about what stirred me to blog in the first place. It’s not too far off from what I have already been talking about, but the starting point is a little different (and maybe unusual). This blog is actually the result of an episode of “Glee” that I just watched on Hulu. Anyone that knows me knows that it’s one of my favorite shows (even if there is some content here and there that I don’t truly agree with). Apparently, “Glee” is pushing the envelope even further this season. This episode, “Grilled Cheesus”, nearly makes me want to say “I will never watch it again.” Almost. That’s because while there are often many mistruths, the show often redeems itself (though not usually all the way) by the end of the episode (Click on the link if you want to see what I mean. Please note that episodes expire after a while, so this link will not always work). 

The title of the episode deal’s with Finn’s issue of a grilled cheese sandwich that appears to have the face of Jesus in it. It’s reminiscent of the stories we often hear about people finding Jesus or the Virgin Mary’s face in unusual places (and how people end up praying/worshiping the object rather than God himself. Satan is clever with these deceptions isn‘t he?). Finn tends to go to that extreme. He ends up praying to it and thinks that all his prayers are being answered when things start going his way (the team wins their game, he gets to fool around with his girlfriend, and he gets to be the quarterback again). Yet, he feels particularly bad when that third prayer happens as a result of the other quarterback getting injured which prompts him to share his grilled cheese nonsense with the school guidance counselor. She does set him straight by pointing out that winning the game came as a result of teamwork and a better coach. Also, what she appropriately classified as “inappropriate touching” was a result of Rachel’s own free-will (which, as of course she didn’t mention, wouldn’t be a prayer God would answer to Finn’s liking anyways considering it’s not something in line with His Word). Thirdly, the quarterback injury was a result of an opposing team member being over-age, on steroids, and practically crushing him to death. Finn expresses his disappointment by saying he felt rather ordinary again and like he didn’t have the direct line to God like he thought he did. Of course, those of us that know better would have told Finn that one DOES have a direct line to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ (and not a grilled cheese) who makes intercession for us (Isaiah 53:12, Romans 8:26-27). So, Finn doesn’t have to feel ordinary if he belonged to Christ and became an heir with Him (Romans 8:17). That should make you feel pretty special!

The entire episode just screamed “ride the fence” because it didn’t decide on anything. Just the basic, “whatever works for you is fine.” Sue Sylvester and Kurt both expressed their unbelief and disgust at the idea of God. Sue’s issue was the fact that she prayed hard for God to heal her sister, when she was younger, when she realized that the beautiful woman she valued her sister to be was ridiculed by everyone else (her sister in the show has Down Syndrome). However, her sister corrected her as they talked over a game of checkers and assured her that God doesn’t make mistakes and asked Sue if she would like her to pray for her and a teary-eyed Sue said “yes” (though they showed no prayers being made right then). 

Kurt’s issues dealt with his father who suffered a heart attack and was currently comatose in the hospital. He was pushing his friends (and their faith) away as they offered their help. One of his reasons was that he stated his anger at God for making him gay and then directing His followers to hate him. He also expressed that he didn’t feel that churches were welcoming of gay people (though he did attend church with Mercedes later on). Here we find a lot of twisted ideas (on both sides, mind you). First of all, God does not create or permit sin and Christ died to atone for it. We are born with a sin nature as a result of this fallen world (and we all have a free will) and the sin vices that we have vary from person to person. One person’s struggle is completely different from another’s. Take me, for example. One of the things that I struggle with is my weight and tendencies to overindulge. While I am accepted by God (and pretty much everyone else) just as I am, it isn’t permissible for me to be a glutton or to misuse/abuse the body that He gave me. Whether or not family genetics determines how easy/hard it is to maintain a healthy body is no excuse. I am still responsible for how I care for and rehabilitate myself to correct the problem. It would be a mistake for me to say, “I’m fat and that’s just the way I am and there’s nothing I can do about it and everyone should just accept it.” That would be incorrect thinking. There IS something I can do about it and I SHOULD (and am!). No matter what sin a person struggles with, there IS hope and we should actively work on obtaining our freedom through Christ from our various bondages. Deliverance is always possible (and available)!

That brings me to the other point of Kurt’s comments. He is wrong in stating that God directs His followers to hate gay people. We are told to love one another (John 13:35). Jesus does not condemn anyone who is in Him. He was infamous for dining with “sinners” prostitutes, tax collectors, and those whom society despised. However, He didn’t endorse their behavior, and those that encountered Christ had a change of heart/life. He approached people with love and gentleness, not condemnation. Remember the woman at the well (John 4:1-30)? How about the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11)? Didn’t he tell us not to throw stones (verse 7)? Though, notice that after he told the woman that he did not condemn her, he instructed her in that last verse to leave her life of sin. We who are in Him should not continue in sin (1 John 3:6-9, 1 John 5:17-19). And we certainly aren’t condemned if we are walking after the Spirit and not the flesh (Romans 8:1-2). 

However, Kurt is sadly right about one thing. There are many that hate and don’t welcome gay people. There are those that condemn, hate, slander, and ostracize. The body of Christ needn’t do this and that’s where some Christians twist “God hates sin” into “God hates people” and that is NOT true! No matter what the issue, we should have open arms to welcome and help people just as Christ does for us. It’s like an article I once read where a former homosexual was criticizing the church for not being there for Ray Boltz (and others) when they “came out” (I couldn't find the article I read before, but I did find a good one here). If they had, they might have gotten the help and support they needed but instead, they felt unsafe about talking about their struggles because of the way some (like the Westboro Baptist Church) treat people. We have support groups for sex/drug/alcohol addicts, anger and overeating addictions, and everything else under the sun, but in this area we are failing profusely and mishandling it badly! This bothers me greatly because I have close friends that are gay as well as those that have overcome it, so I have great compassion on this issue. Everyone is God’s creation; precious in His sight. They are a treasure to Him and they are a treasure to me as well, and I know how I would feel if someone starting listing my sins and condemning me to Hell for them instead of embracing me with love and being there for me to help me overcome my struggles. I would rather have someone say, “Let’s go for a walk, burn some calories, and go get a salad when we’re done!” rather than, “You’re fat and you’re doomed! Sucks to be you! Looks like you’re going to Hell, you glutton!” One statement says, “I love you and am walking through this with you…how can we help each other?” and the other says, “You’re on your own loser!” Which approach do you think is more effective, loving, and accepting? You can love and accept a person without endorsing sin. Jesus modeled that all the time. We should do the same!

Even though the show doesn’t always get things right, it does give you food for thought (if you know how to sort through the mess and know the truth from lies). It also illustrates the struggle we all have with faith from time to time. That’s what sparked inside of me so much when I watched it, because I can relate to it so much right now. Sometimes, I feel like Sue and Kurt and feel that maybe God really isn’t there and that if He was, He’s not a good God because of all I’m going through. But then, I remember that God isn’t the one who wrongs me, it’s the free-will of others that wrongs me. God is always perfect and good and can do no evil. People do things that are wrong, but God is there to make it right; though “when” He makes things right isn’t always on MY timetable. However, He promises that He WILL make things right (Hebrews 10:30). He who is judge is the one that will deal with everything accordingly and it’s not my right (or my job) to take on His role and pick up those stones. I am hoping for the self-control and grace I need to leave stones on the ground, because just like anyone else, I do fail and pick them up sometimes. If I do, I should give them to Jesus and He will put it in His rock pile to deal with. 

The biggest point that “Glee” made is that everyone needs something to believe in; especially in the hard times because what hope do you have if you don’t? Sue thought that that “fantasy” was useless, but that comes from a character who’s faith is only in herself. Real faith isn't fantasy or "cheesy". True faith is powerful! And, whether an atheist will admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that even they believe in SOMETHING because we are all created and geared to worship something; whether that’s God or self or someone else. The object/person that a person puts faith in may be different, but we all believe in "something." However, the problem with the general “something to believe in” idea is that it’s very vague and very misleading if you aren’t trusting in something (rather, someone) unfailing. Obviously, people fail us and we even fail ourselves. There is nothing completely unfailing, reliable, and trustworthy except for Jesus Christ. As Chad once said, “He’s the only way because He’s the only one.” Who else died for you, made you an heir with Him, and is coming back for you? Who or what else promises grace rather than earning “heaven” on your own merits and legalism? Why choose Jesus? Because He chose YOU! Now THAT’S something to believe in; and we'll see just what faith can do as a result!

Grace and peace to all of you! God bless all of you for reminding me that there really is something to believe in every day because you all believe in me (rather, the one who is IN me - and I in Him). Thanks for building me up and reminding me who holds my future and that I’ll have the strength to make it through because of HIM (Philippians 4:13) and can‘t do it without Him (John 15:5)…nor could I do it without so many of you walking through this with me too! Praise God for all of you!