There Is No 1985

"The timeline skewed into this tangent creating an alternate 1985. Alternate to you, me, and Einstein; but reality for everyone else." - Doc Brown, "Back to the Future: Part II". 

I think this quote describe grief, mistakes, and regrets best. There are so many moments where life as we know it "skews" into a tangent and creates an alternate reality. The timeline changes and what you once knew to be "1985" is no longer 1985 to you anymore. Some people experience that foreign reality with you and know that something has changed. Nothing will be the same and you wish you had a time machine so you could go back and reset the timeline. Others go on with life as if nothing has happened.  

Grief has several stages: Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. It's not a straight shot either. The shock takes a while to wear off and is an undercurrent for the next three for a while. Denial, anger, and bargaining take their turns; moment to moment and day by day. Sometimes, you almost think they're gone and that acceptance is right around the corner; waiting to greet you. Then, a trigger reminds you of the "alternate 1985" that you're living in; and you toggle through the stages some more. Grief truly is a process; and its timeline is one of the most endlessly varied ones there is. 

I think the "bargaining" stage is one of the hardest and cruelest things. It's where so many questions, "what ifs", and "if onlys" lurk. It's where the "time machine" lives. You revisit the past, imagine the scenarios that would have been if something were done differently, and start thinking about how that would make 1985 alright again. However, you know you can't change anything. The time machine needs to be left alone. You can't go back; and shouldn't even if you could. Time is in God's hands; not ours. Nothing can change a road not taken, a mistake made, or a person lost. About the only thing we can do with the time machine in our mind is go back to the best moments of life and think on all the good things (Philippians 4:8).

That's what I have tried to do in the midst of my own current grieving process. I gathered up my best moments and memories and was intent on making a blog post (but ended up making a video instead). This is the time machine I allow myself to use. It makes me feel like the "real 1985" still exists. Yet, it's sort of a danger because it makes me want to hold hands with denial more than I should. Grief sucks. It's hard.

It's the moments of knowing everything is in the past and can't be changed that the anger creeps up again. All the promises of the Bible that are embedded deeply in my heart start to feel like a lie. But, that's the twist (and we know where the "twisting" comes from); it's not a lie. I have to remember that there is a time for everything under the sun. It may be hard to understand the timing, but we can trust it (because we trust Him). Whenever something is hard and I wonder "why me?"; I have to ask "why Him?" I deserve to suffer; but Christ didn't. Yet, Jesus didn't spare Himself from suffering and death. He could have rescued Himself, but He didn't (well, not ultimately; though there were plenty of times He could have been taken out and wasn't...it's all according to the Father's timeline). He didn't spare His own cousin either (and poor John was sitting on death row wondering why because He knew and declared who Jesus was to all). Eventually, each one of us dies and faces judgment (Hebrews 9:27). With the exception of Enoch and Elijah, all will experience death (even Lazarus, who was raised from the dead by Jesus, still eventually died....again lol). Maybe we've had near misses in the past, and God has spared us from those near-death scenarios, but we won't get spared in this life every time. Our time will come; and we don't know when or how.

That point about John the Baptist (and many others in the Bible who weren't spared from suffering, tragedy, and death by our all-powerful God who could have stopped it if He wanted to) was brought up at Melissa Coy's memorial service. It's an important thing to remember because Jesus told us that we would have trouble, but that He has overcome it (John 16:33). I love it when the very things that God is telling/comforting me with show up in others too. That's the kind of perfect timing we all love! I was so glad that that was part of the message. It's assuring, affirming, and makes me feel confident that I'm hearing what Holy Spirit has been saying. It reminds me that there are no coincidences; God really is speaking and His truth is showing up in the hearts of so many at the same time! It's amazing and it makes any doubts fade into the background. We can trust the wisdom and timing of God; even when it doesn't make sense. We know that He has a plan and purpose for it all (Romans 8:28). 

The bottom line is this: there is no "1985". The timeline "skews" all the time. There's no normal; no baseline. The alterations are always happening; and they've been happening since the fall of man. The only TRUE and perfect timeline was before the fall; and that is why Jesus sacrificed His life for ours. Sin altered the timeline; but He reconciled it for good! He truly turned back time through His death and resurrection! Now, we wait for the day where it will be fully finalized and there will no more time at all; only eternity. Those who are in Christ are experiencing the joy of that right now; and this grief we're going through in missing them isn't like the grief of those who have no hope. However, those who died without putting their faith in Christ are experiencing eternal horror; and we truly mourn for their fate that cannot be changed. The finality of both should make us pause and think. It's truly the "Good News" for those who are already in His presence, but catastrophic for those who are not. Once we take our last breath here on Earth, our own personal timeline skews for one final time. This recent article about Ozzy Osbourne's death sums it up well; especially this part: 

Ozzy’s death is not about Ozzy

It’s about you.

The news of his death is not a tabloid event. It is a trumpet blast to the living. The man who once stood on stage and howled at the moon is now silent. The crowd is gone. The lights are off. And he is face to face with eternity.

So ask yourself: if the curtain fell tonight, would you be ready?

Do not play games with your soul. Do not wait to become a better version of yourself. Do not pretend that God is still deciding what to do with you.

He already has.

He sent His Son.

He opened the door.

And He promised – if you will repent and believe, you will be saved.

Not improved. Not reformed. Saved.

You will still die, but death will lose its power. It will become a doorway, not a sentence. And when the trumpet sounds, and your body rises, you will see Him – Christ – and He will not be your Judge. He will be your Joy.

I don't know much about Ozzy or where his heart was at (I truly hope he got saved). But I do know that we have a very different story with another celebrity that just passed: Hulk Hogan. The Hulkster accepted Christ and was baptized. We don't have to wonder who he put his faith in. 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Don't get stuck in the past. They're shadows of what has been. We live in the present, and that's the only time we truly have. The future isn't promised, so we have to make the best choices NOW while we still have "time". TODAY is the day of salvation. Once your timeline stops, that "skew" is the final decision. It will either skew up or down. Decide NOW which direction you want to go; because there are no time machines in Hell. Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve and follow the example of people like Melissa Coy who chose well. You can't alter the past, but you can still alter your future while there is still time to write it....so "make it a good one" by choosing to follow Jesus. Amen!

When It's Hard to Find the "Wonderful"

For many people, Christmastime is "the most wonderful time of the year." For others, those song lyrics are the last thing they want to hear because for one reason or another, it's hard to get excited about Christmas. Personally, every time my co-worker mockingly and randomly sings that line to me, I give him a "bah, humbug" kind of look.  It can be a struggle to have the Christmas spirit when you work at the Salvation Army and the "wonderful" time of the year is the most crazy busy time of the year.

As exhausting as all the busyness is, I know it's all worth it. Struggling families will be getting assistance and generous donors are ensuring that I still have a job to do as I process monetary gifts and take care of business. The ministry goes on because of this "wonderful" but busy time of year. God supplies all the strength and endurance I need to persevere through a long December; even with an ongoing cold & cough that is only now starting to taper off. I truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). Jesus is the one that propels me onward. He keeps me looking forward to the mystery and hope of the upcoming new year as the current one wraps up. What a blessing it is to see the world through "Kingdom" lenses; an eternal perspective. Christ is my confidence! He gives me peace and joy even on the most weary days. 

The only thing that sometimes gets me down is when I become aware of the emptiness and sadness of others. Christmas and New Year's doesn't look bright and shiny to them. Fear has drowned out Hope because they have forgotten (or don't know) His name. The holidays have come at a bad time because they've just lost a job, a home, a loved one, or maybe more than one of those things at once. They may be dealing with a severe illness or injury, an addiction, or financial struggles. They may be a veteran struggling to overcome PTSD and are still fighting a war; the fight for the will to live. Some have buried parents, siblings, and even babies and children. Others have friends and relatives who are incarcerated; whether literally, figuratively, or both. 

The scenarios I mentioned all have names and faces attached to them; most of them are the people I listen to, hug, and pray with when they're coming in for help. You may not know the ones I know, but chances are you know someone who is going through this kind of pain and grief (maybe it's you). It's far too easy for Satan to use these tragedies for his gain; all he has to do is keep the focus on the problems rather than the One who solves them. He cleverly keeps our attention fixed inward rather than upward; on that next fix, hook up, lottery ticket, shopping spree, or alcoholic beverage. It's all about keeping you obsessed with filling the void; returning to empty wells or salt water that can't quench or satisfy. In fact, some of those wells are downright contaminated with poison; yet the compulsion to draw from them remains and the cycle continues. The negative emotions and depression deepens and digs its hooks deeper into your soul; becoming more and more of a stronghold and stumbling block.

The good news is that there IS "good news"; "tidings of great joy" for ALL people (yes, YOU too)! It's the Gospel message and the whole reason this season is truly "wonderful": Jesus. I can vouch for the fact that He is the only One that can rescue and restore a heavy heart and weary soul. He is the key to freedom from those strongholds! I've been to the empty and toxic wells as much as anyone else. Because of my own struggles, I can promise you that Hope really does deliver, because that deliverer's name is Emmanuel; "God with us." He is the way, the truth and the life, who gives us living water. Turn away from the kind of water that isn't good for your soul and turn to the one and only pure water source. Christ's living water is fresh, pure, and sustaining. HE is the answer you seek. Be a wise man (or wise woman) and journey towards the Savior who has come to rescue and restore you! Fall on your knees before the Savior. Humble yourself before the One who humbled Himself as well. Our Creator came to Earth in the very human form in which we ourselves are made. God came to be with us so that He could also die for/deliver us, and then live IN us through the Holy Spirit. He was forsaken so that we would never have to be. In your greatest need and brokenness, He is with you. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. You are not alone! What a most wonderful time of year it is indeed! HE makes it wonderful!

Grace and peace to you, my dear friends! Please, pray for those that are seeking, hurting, grieving, and needing to know the hope and joy that the Prince of Peace brings. In this season of giving, look for every opportunity to do the most good. Give spare change to the Salvation Army red kettles (or volunteer to ring the bell!!), adopt a family for Christmas, donate food to the pantry, smile at strangers, visit a nursing home, etc. As John Wesley said: "Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can." Don't waste a moment to make an impact! Be the hope of Jesus everywhere you go; through your words and actions. Love well! Additionally, if you are reading this and are desperate for the hope and peace I've shared about, please comment or contact me. I would love to listen to your heart, hear your story, and pray for you! God bless you!

Crazy Haired Jesus Freak!

I love how God shows up and allows me to be a part of something unexpected during ordinary tasks of my day! Today, I needed to stop by a mailbox on my way home to drop off some letters. The closest one on my route was at Walmart (the ONLY reason I ever go there lol). I parked the van and walked towards the store. As I was walking, I passed a gentleman as he was getting ready to load stuff into his truck. I felt that "holy nudge" (as the Newsboys call it) in my heart. I felt like maybe God wanted me to pray for him. I was about half-way to the mailbox, so I thought if I was really supposed to approach him, there would be a chance after I walked back. I dropped off the letters and started back towards my van.

The man was just starting to look for where he should return his cart. I came up to him and told him I would take it for him. He was friendly. He thanked me and let me take it. I noticed his patriotic hat, so I asked him if he had served in the military (because I make it a habit of thanking a veteran every time I see one). He said no, and that he just barely missed Vietnam. Then, I asked him if I could pray for him because I felt like the Lord wanted me to. He was completely open and responsive to it and I asked him if he had any needs or something weighing on his heart. He said he couldn't think of anything specific, so I asked if I could put my hand on his shoulder and just say a prayer of blessing over him. I asked for his name and I thanked God for him and prayed over his health, home, family, needs, etc. When I finished, he brought up his newborn grandson that is at Riley's. I prayed again; for healing and that this baby would bring glory to God for the purpose for which he was created and born into this world.

After that, we talked for a little bit. He said he was in his 60's and that it was nice to see young people willing to share their faith. He asked me how old I was and I told him 35. He said he wouldn't have guessed it and thought I was in my 20's. I was like, "yessssssss" lol. ;) I told him that my oldest child's birthday was today and that he was 15. I also shared that he was born hearing impaired and autistic. I encouraged him that just as God has used him for his glory, his grandson would be used for the Kingdom too. We agreed that there are no accidents, and I shared about the Activ8 youth conference at my church this past weekend; particularly about and how Jeremiah Carlson shared about his experiences in his life and that all of it is being used for God's glory. He emphasized that while there are mistakes, there are no accidents. None of us are accidents; even if we "happened" by "mistake". God plans everything. We're all meant to be here. He encouraged the kids that they were all God's masterpieces....created on purpose for a purpose. All things (good and bad) can and will be used for God's glory (Romans 8:28).

Crazy hair, and crazy about Jesus!

The funniest part about this encounter happened when we were discussing God's purpose for meeting today. He said he felt like God was using it to tell him not to judge a book by its cover. He explained that his generation doesn't always know what to think about mine (tats, piercings, etc.) and that he didn't know what to think about my brightly colored hair when I first walked by. I laughed and told him, "you probably thought, 'she needs Jesus'," and we got a good laugh out of that. I told him it reminded me of a Max Lucado piece that I read years ago where he talked about how he prematurely (and mistakenly) judged a family by how they looked. I encourage you to take a second to read it (it's short!). It's called "Label or Love?" where he says: "I'd applied the label before examining the contents. We've all used labels. We stick them on jars and manila folders so we'll know what's inside. We also stick them on people for the same reason....it's easier to label than to love." 

I also shared with him about a similar message that I saw on Facebook recently. It was a short video message from Joyce Meyer (again, take a minute to check it out..so worth it and so funny!) where she talked about the way people judge others based on their tattoos, piercings, hair, etc. I told him about how my Mom didn't like my hair (though, ironically, she was the one that originally forwarded that Max Lucado article to me lol) and that my Dad didn't really care for it either....and that he jokingly asked me if I was a barbarian when I got my nose and tongue piercings. I pointed out the fact that nose rings have their place in the Bible. Read about the nose ring that Rebekah received when she was chosen as a wife for Isaac (and Joyce referenced Ezekiel 16 and talked about not being "baptized in prune juice" and that legalism isn't holiness). I told him that there's lots of styles of hair, piercings, and tats that I don't like either (I really don't fancy ear gauging) but that it's all just that.... different styles. Everyone has different ways of expression and personal preferences. I explained that God had told me years ago, "It's all about the heart, Melissa" and that it's something that has permanently stuck in my mind and helped me so much in my life. I reiterated that I have met many passionate people for Christ that have a creative/colorful hairstyle, or that have nose rings like me (including our youth conference speaker)."Crazy" hair, tattoos, piercings, etc. are just the "packaging" of a person. You have no way of judging the motives of someone's heart by their outsides! Like the Pharisees, a clean cup on the outside could have a very filthy inside; or a dirty and unattractive exterior could have a pure interior (Mathew 23:25-26, Luke 11:39) You just don't know...only God knows. We see the outside, but God sees the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

I got a big hug from him before we parted ways and he said he'd be sure to talk to me again if he ever saw me. I told him about my job at the Salvation Army and encouraged him to stop by and say hello sometime. I shared about how much I loved my job and that I get to smile and welcome people in, pray for them, and just love on them. I also told him that there have been four drive-thru workers that I've been moved to prayed for recently and that only one of them refused. You just have to say "yes" to God and he'll let you be part of something when you cooperate!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I hope you're as inspired and encouraged as I am! I couldn't stop thanking and praising God for allowing me to be part of it as I drove home! I really wanted to put this out there today because I love sharing moments like this (and reading/hearing about others' moments as well). Who doesn't love a good "God story"?! We need to read encouraging stuff like this; and to be inspired to be PART of these moments as well! It really isn't hard to obey a simple prompt from God. I have so many of these awesome moments that I could be blogging about, but I would be writing non-stop if I shared them all! I am so blessed to be a part of God's Kingdom work! I feel so honored that He would include me and choose me to interact with people like this! The good news is, He wants to include ALL of us! You can be part of it too! Just listen....and then do it! Keep on listening and loving well! Ask God to open you up to love better and bigger; to give you HIS eyes to see, ears to hear, and heart to listen and love others (watch "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath!). Be receptive to Him and He just might let you have a peek at someone's beautiful heart when you step out of your box to connect with them! That crazy haired, tattooed, pierced hooligan may just be crazy about Jesus too. ;) She could be a crazy haired Jesus freak....like me! God bless you!

My Beautiful Aunt Linda

Today, we laid my Aunt Linda's earthly body to rest after a beautiful memorial service. As grieved as we all are, I know we all have peace. Just as the angels had declared that Jesus wasn't in the tomb, but had risen, we know that Linda has been raised to life. It's a beautiful comfort to know that she is with our risen Savior!

I snapped this at our Christmas get-together in 2009. 

The following words are the things that the Holy Spirit put on my heart to share at the service today. It was my honor and joy to be able to minister these words to others just as they were ministered to me when He had me typing and crying up a storm: 

As I have attempted to recall to mind the memories of my Aunt Linda, I realized that I didn't have the kind of memories everyone else would be sharing. Many of us who are gathered here have lived with her or near her while most of my interactions with her has been through family get-togethers and social media. I don't really recall many moments of one-on-one quality time. However, there are two prominent memories that stick out in my mind that I believe can speak for anyone who knew her no matter how much or how little they got to interact with her.

My first memory is of when I was a young child and I was told that she was going to have a baby. I remember that there was a strong emphasis on what a big deal this was. Every baby is a miracle, but her baby was that much more of a miracle child. If anyone ever had a mother's glow, it was her. The mere mention of her son, Zach, would immediately put the biggest smile on her face. She had once told me about how her co-workers had gotten her a doll that was made to look just like him. She adored that gift because it reminded her of her most precious real-life gift; her living "doll" with his Daddy's bright blue eyes. She truly treasured her husband, son, and family. Sometimes, people don't cherish their loved ones enough or as deeply as they should; but she did.

My other memory is about my necklace. It's a cheap two dollar necklace that I bought at a souvenir place while on vacation many years ago. It became a favorite of mine that I wore quite a bit. One day, it accidentally got broken. There were beads everywhere and I reacted with the kind of shock and sadness that Pocahontas did in that Disney movie scene where her mother's necklace was broken to bits. I hoped that maybe I would figure out how to fix it...if I ever had the time and know-how to do it. Realistically speaking, I knew I would probably never get around to fixing it myself. I can't remember how the subject came up (or if someone had just mentioned that Aunt Linda had the jewelry making skills to repair it) but she was more than happy to take a look at it and see what she could do with it. I don't recall how long she had it, but just like her mom (my Grandma) she was able to eventually get it done and get it back to me. Like Grandma, she apologized that she didn't get it finished sooner and tried to explain how it probably wasn't "quite right" or good enough. Again, just like with Grandma, I could never quite figure out what the supposed flaw was because it looked like new to me. I didn't care about any so-called imperfections or how long it took. All I knew is that I was loved because time was taken out for me and my problem. Aunt Linda was just like Grandma (and even looked so much like her too). They both had such willing hearts to love and serve others; always making sure things got done. They happily invested in their family and friends. Love, laughter, service, faith, and joy was a natural part of who they were and is why they are both so beloved and missed. 

I feel that these two memories summarize the Linda we all knew. We all love and miss her because she poured so much life into everyone around her. Since the day she gave back to me my remade necklace, I've never seen it as the cheap two dollar souvenir that it started out as. Every time I have put it on, it's felt like that Disney moment where Pocahontas also got her necklace back. What was so precious had been made precious and new once more, but it was more than that. Immeasurable new value had been added to it because someone cared enough to put the time into re-making it. That's what love does; it rebuilds, restores, renews, and heals. What was once broken is restored and what once was shattered is I made whole and new again. That's what I think of when I wear my necklace: "My Aunt Linda fixed this for me." That's

My re-made necklace

who she was. She modeled the healing grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. She walked in love and poured it into everyone and everything around her. It pained us all to see life being drained and robbed from her after everything she did to pour life into everyone else. Our comfort is this; she has been remade! In heaven, she has been healed and made new. The body that had been broken is now restored, and what cancer had shattered is made whole and new again. Jesus fixed everything; right on time (His time) and without any flaws. She, her mom, grandma, Sherryl, and all of our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who have gone before us are eternally healed and whole. We will also experience this same joy if Christ is the Lord and Savior of our hearts. Until then, we must continue the legacy of faith and love the way they did. In this way, we will truly celebrate and honor their lives by paying forward all that they have poured into our lives.

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I'm including her memorial video at the bottom. Also, here's a link to one of Aunt Linda's favorite songs: I Can Only Imagine (I can't wait for the movie!!). The one thing I'm imagining right now is Aunt Linda and Grandma being with Jesus in heaven. In three days, it will be the 5th anniversary of Grandma's passing. It's so strange and beautiful that they both went to heaven during the same month, at around the same time, and because of the same reason. I hope and pray that everyone who reads this will get to experience this eternal paradise. The only way is through Jesus. If you haven't accepted Him as your Lord and Savior yet, don't wait another day! You never know when it will be your last! 

Being a Force for Good

Today is the National Day of Prayer. It's also Star Wars Day (may the fourth be with you!). At first, it felt odd and awkward that these two days are sharing the spotlight. After thinking about it, however, I see how it's very fitting.

Every day, we need Jesus more than yesterday. His mercy, grace, joy, and peace are all things that we desperately need; even more than the air we breathe. Without Him, we have no hope...because He IS hope....our "only hope." Ponder these verses from Lamentations 3:22-24:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

 

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

 

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

Let that sink in. Because of His unfailing love and compassion, we are not consumed. The dark side of this world can't eat us alive or rob us of the victory that was accomplished on the cross. Every new day is a fresh new display of His faithfulness and goodness. He renews and restores our souls and gives us our portion of grace for the day; whatever that daily bread looks like, He provides it like He did the manna for the Israelites.

We live in a time where it's easy to become discouraged and depressed. We look at the sith lords in power and feel like we'll forever be dominated by greed, power, and war. Yes, tyranny and injustice is hard to witness; but we do not have to be consumed by it. The previous verses remind us of where our hope and joy is found and Psalm 23 tells us who takes care of us. The government doesn't have our backs (and probably never will) but the Lord, our Good Shepherd, always does!

If we truly want to see change, we have to go to the source: our hearts. In 2 Chronicles 7:14, the ever popular verse for this day, we see how to do that: 

 

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves 

and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, 

then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

 

Don't just glaze over the words here. There is some HEAVY stuff in it and we won't see change until we're truly putting these commands into practice. We need to HUMBLE ourselves; that means surrendering and laying down our pride. We need to pray; opening our hearts listen and obey as we earnestly seek His face. That means, pursuing Him, knowing Him, and obeying Him and His commands. That's where the next part comes in; turning away from our wicked ways (repentance). Only then can He heal our land when we confess and repent of our sins and ask for forgiveness. It doesn't matter what the government makes legal or illegal. What matters is that WE obey God and repent from our own wickedness. If we SEEK Him in prayer and in His Word, we will KNOW what is right and wrong. We will see things change because people will be living according to God's commands even if they're not the "law of the land."

If there's anything that we can learn from Star Wars, it's that there is always going to be evil and conflict in this fallen world. We should keep fighting the good fight until our dying breath (1 Timothy 6:12, 2 Timothy 4:7). Jesus already gave us the victory and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Keep your armor on (Ephesians 6:10-18) and stay connected with other believers; no one is meant to fight alone! To battle the darkness around us, and within us, remember 1 John 4:4: 

 

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, 

because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

 

This One that is in you, friends, is the Holy Spirit! He's always with you and never leaves you. He is supreme, sovereign, perfect, and REAL! He's beyond anything "the Force" could ever be....and He's living in YOU! Isn't that amazing?! Or, if you have yet to know Him (and would like to invite Him into your heart) please don't wait any longer! Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead. Accept and believe in Him as your Savior and you will be saved (Romans 10:9-10)! Confess your sins to Him; He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Your name will be recorded in the Book of Life and the Holy Spirit will come to live in your heart right away! He's the deposit guaranteeing what is to come!! You will belong to Jesus and His family! Be sure you contact me (or another strong Christian friend that you know) and tell them about your decision for Christ so that you will have someone to walk with you on your journey and help you take your next steps of faith!

 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! We are a "force" for good in this world when we are living according to the Spirit (Romans 8:3-5). Let's pray hard today, and every day; surrendering ourselves to the will of God as we repent and seek His face! Amen!

 

 

What's Your Scarlet Letter?

Branding. It applies to almost everything. From companies and organizations, to food, clothing, and skin; we have logos, slogans, and labels for nearly everything under the sun.

The one kind of brand that some never see is how we brand ourselves inside. It's something that I was thinking about during Kent's message today (you can watch it when it's uploaded, as well as the rest of the amazing "how to be a neighbor" series by clicking here). I won't re-preach the whole thing for you. I just want to highlight his key point from 1 Peter 2:4-5:

As you come to him, the living Stone--rejected by humans but chosen by God and precious to him--you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 

Kent reminded us that Jesus, the perfect Son of God who did nothing but good, was rejected by humans. So, why should we be surprised that we too (as followers of Christ) are also scorned and rejected by others in this world? In case you haven't noticed, Christians are being treated with more contempt and hostility than ever before. We're "hateful" and we're "bigots" and whatever else doesn't fit some kind of liberal version of God that the world wants to portray instead of the holy, righteous, sovereign, UNCHANGING God of the Bible. Jesus said that the world would hate and persecute us just as they did to him (John 15:1, Matthew 10:22, Matthew 24:9, Mark 13:13, Luke 21:17).

BUT.....

Just as Jesus was chosen and precious in God's eyes, SO ARE WE!! In verse nine of 1 Peter 2, it is reiterated and affirmed:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praise of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

We are NOT defined by how the world views us. We are defined by Christ. Our identity is in Him. We are who HE says we are! The world rejects us and tears us down, but Jesus accepts us and calls us "chosen" and "precious". He TREASURES us as a prized possession that belongs to Him!

I don't know about you, but that means everything to me! I have struggled with my own "branding" throughout my life. I kind of relate it to "The Scarlet Letter". Many of us had to read it in school, so you're probably familiar with it. The story is about about a Puritan woman, Hester Prynne, who had to wear a scarlet "A" for "Adultress" as her punishment for her sin. She even chose to make her letter a very large one and wore it prominently. She could have made it small, and put it in a more discreet place, but she didn't. She was punishing herself just as much as everyone else was.

Can you imagine wearing a letter which branded you with your sin forever; being judged and shamed by others (as well as yourself) and living with the constant guilt and reminder of your mistake? We don't see that kind of literal thing today, but I assure you that it still exists. We all have some form of a scarlet letter. It may not be visible, but we (and sometimes other people) know it's there. We feel it with us every day and it haunts us. So often, we can't forgive ourselves and let go of our negative branding; refusing to accept that Christ took the punishment for our sins. We punish ourselves for years (or forever) even though our sins have been paid for!

My biggest scarlet letters have been "D" for "divorce", "F" for "failure" (and "fat"), and no doubt there are others letters and words I could share about how I've felt and what I've dealt with in my heart. However, I am not defined and branded by these letters. Jesus has taken my "D" and given me the letter "R" for "restored" and "redeemed." That "F" now stands for "faith", "freedom", and "forgiveness". I have a "C" letter for "chosen", a "P" letter for "precious", and more than anything else, I am branded with a letter "G" for "grace"! YOU have these three letters too if you are a child of God because that is who you are, who you belong to, and what He calls you!

What scarlet letters are you holding onto? Are you ready to exchange them for pure, glistening, white ones? Isaiah 1:18 tells us that even though our sins are like scarlet, he will make them white as snow! That's an AMAZING transformation and He wants to do that for you! He wants to make you new and brand you with His love, mercy, and grace! Please, feel free to leave a comment (or message me) with what letters you're trading in and what letters He's giving you instead! When we share our stories, we can walk together and rejoice with one another!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I felt like these were important thoughts to share today. If not for someone else, then at least for me. This is something that I will have to come back to and re-read because there are times where the old letters try to reattach themselves to my heart. The only way to prevent that is to remind myself of the TRUTH which can only be found in God's Word, as well as quality time with Him. It's a beautiful thing to have a relationship with the Almighty God; Creator of the Universe....and to BELONG to Him as a chosen and precious possession. It's no small thing to be a child of the Most High King and be an heir with His Son. Let's remind each other of that fact DAILY and delight in it; especially when others try to tell us differently. God bless you!

Come What May....TOMORROW!!!

Tonight, I watched my girls in a Spring Program at school. The grade below them sang classic songs from the musical "Annie" (which I adored because I used to watch the 1982 movie all the time and LOVED the songs!). When they started singing "Tomorrow", I got the same chills that I always do. Does anyone else tear up when they hear it?! It's so filled with hope, optimism, and perseverance. It's inspiring!

Car Selfie On The Way To The Rally!

The song made me think of how my family and I had spent the day. We got the rare and unique opportunity to experience a political rally. It isn't very often that Indiana's vote matters so much! It's VERY exciting! Therefore, we made sure to go to the Ted Cruz rally in Fort Wayne.

It was a wonderful experience! We greatly enjoyed gathering with 2,000 fellow patriots who are firm believers in our constitution and faith in God. The speakers were all fantastic! There was a local pastor that encouraged us with these two verses from the Bible; describing how it was easy to discern who to vote for. God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:5-7) and you can't serve both God and money (Matthew 6:24). He said there's been one candidate that constantly boasts and is always talking about his wealth (HINT: It's NOT Ted Cruz!). So, if he's opposing the "proud" one who is boasting about his riches (and it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven), don't we want to be on GOD'S side? I know I do! That's why we have been supporting Ted Cruz because not only has he been fighting for our constitutional rights (and will continue to do so), but he has the character and humility needed to be a SERVANT for God and country!

That same pastor that shared those verses also shared with us that he had gotten a personal call from Cruz's father. They talked for 20 minutes or more and he said that he was amazed at his knowledge of the scriptures and could tell he was a brother in the Lord and that his family had been immersed in the Christian faith all their lives. The pastor asked him if he could count on the fact that when Cruz is president, he will be on his knees in prayer in that oval office depending on God and asking him what to do (and especially in the toughest decisions when it's hard to know what to do). He assured him with confidence that he would absolutely be doing that because that is the way they have always lived their faith in their family.

I think that that part of the rally really resonated with me the most. Of course, I also enjoyed Glen Beck and how he re-told the story of George Washington's leadership, hardships, and service to the country (and that that's what our country needs to remember and fight for right now). I was also energized and thrilled to hear Ted Cruz speak. However, the words from that pastor gave a new insight into Ted's heart and faith foundation. It cemented into my mind the fact that Ted Cruz is the right, best, and only choice!

When the rally was over, we pushed forward to the front to see if we could meet with Cruz for a few moments. My daughter, Gianna, had written a letter of encouragement for him that we gave to WOWO's Pat Miller to give to him (he assured us he would make sure he got it!). Gianna kept calling out for him in the crowd, and he smiled and waved to her. I was able to capture his attention when I said, "Make sure you stick it to Planned Parenthood!" The crowd affirmed my statement as I stretched out my hand toward Ted Cruz. He grasped my hand, and in those several seconds, it was like he communicated to me more than words ever could. I felt a peace, calm, and relief that I haven't felt in this election in a while (or probably at all!). In his strong but gentle hand, I felt a sense of promise, reassurance, and understanding. It was like when a parent, family member, or close friend squeezes your hand to let you know, "It's going to be alright. I'm here for you!" It was a hand I felt good about placing mine in! In that moment, he was saying "We're going to get it done! We will fight to the end for all we hold dear!" I didn't want to let go lol ("I'll never let go, Ted.....I'll never let go!!"). ;)

The reason all of this reminds me of that little orphan Annie song is because "Tomorrow" is such a big day (and LESS than a day away now!). As I write this, there is a little over an hour until midnight. The morning will come, the sun will come out, and the day will be new. It will be a turning point for America (and the world) as Indiana steps out and votes on whose "hands" we decide to put our trust in. Ultimately, it's all in God's hands; our hope and trust is in the Lord. We need to SEEK the Lord and vote for the one that translates into a "vote" for God; a vote for HIS side and HIS ways. God will bless America again if we put our faith into His hands and vote for the servant that He has risen up to defend faith and values.

Ted Cruz & Governor Mike Pence

Hoosiers, your vote DOES matter! The fate of America is on the line and it matters GREATLY whose hands it's in (and that includes your state and local reps)!! Ted Cruz is the only candidate who has always stood CONSISTENTLY for the faith and hope we have in God and on the foundation our forefathers built this nation upon. He has a servant's heart and the drive/perseverance to never quit on America! Make those headlines say what they were saying at the rally: "Trump failed. Kasich bailed. Cruz prevailed!"

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Please, feel free to share this post with fellow Hoosiers (or anyone that has yet to vote in the primaries). We can't have a godly president if we don't vote for a godly nominee! Do your duty, my fellow Americans! Fast. Pray. VOTE!! Don't sit this one out! Find your polling place here! Come what may!!! Tomorrow,...tomorrow....I love ya! Stick out your chin, and grin, and vote TED CRUZ!!! :) May God bless you and may God bless America!

Casey's Dino Raptor Snack Shack

"Mom, I want to be in Boy Scouts!" This is what I've heard from Casey on a couple different occasions when he's brought information papers home. Up until now, I had put it off for a variety of different reasons; time, money, and the fact that I didn't really believe Casey would ultimately want to commit to something that required more socialization and outdoor activity time (even though it would be good for him). Casey's mild autism has always caused him to have difficulty with socialization (or even wanting to; he usually likes to be alone). He is also very sensitive to temperatures; particularly heat, so he doesn't always enjoy outdoor activities when it's warm outside. Therefore, I was REALLY surprised that he brought up joining the Boy Scouts again. He had let it go the last time when I explained what it all entailed; as well as a "maybe next year" and "wait until we get married and get settled at your new school." This time, he was NOT letting me forget about my "next time" response. "Next time" was now THIS TIME.

When I took Casey to the introductory meeting, all I could think about was how much he hated other things I tried to involve him in. When he was younger, he played special league t-ball. When he wasn't sitting down in the outfield or playing in the sand, he was covering his eyes and running to first base after hitting the ball. In Upwards basketball, he was flailing around the court (and doing his "raptor walk"). He looked unhappy and like he wished it would all be over (see video playlist lol). So, you can imagine how hesitant I was to give into Casey's insistence that he REALLY wanted to do Boy Scouts (especially when I saw how much a uniform and all that stuff costs). However, the scout leaders said that the $12.00 membership fee covered him from now until January; in other words, a perfect time frame for a trial run! I told Casey that we would give things a go and if he didn't like it, we would opt out when it was time to renew. If he still wanted to stick with it, we would invest in a uniform at that time. I don't know if he truly comprehends the whole concept, but he agreed lol.

Casey learned how to
make a duct tape wallet!

So far, Casey has been enjoying everything they've been doing in weekly meetings. Chris and I have observed him playing dodgeball and we were amazed that he was enjoying it and attempting to participate. Granted, he doesn't know how to throw the ball very well (or very far) but he did try. More often than not, he was just the last boy standing after everyone else has been hit because he just stands by the wall laughing, grinning, and avoiding being clobbered lol. It may not seem like a lot to anyone else, but watching him enjoy it was a pretty big deal to us. It showed a lot of personal growth and maturity and it's so good for him to step out of his box!

He also went on a nature hike where they were identifying plants and bugs. This is right up Casey's alley! He LOVES that stuff! I hope that he will impress the leaders and other scouts with his amazing encyclopedia-type explanations of the different species of spiders, bugs, and such. He reads up on those things all the time! They've met their match with Casey in this area! Everyone else might be able to cream him in dodgeball, but he can memorize nature facts like nobody's business! :)

The other thing that Casey and his troop are starting to do is sell their Boy Scout popcorn. This is something that Casey only vaguely understands. He knows that he needs to sell it (and that earning a certain amount will earn him a prize of a rocket kit that he wants) but he doesn't understand HOW to sell it or WHY it costs what it does. When telling his Mamaw about buying popcorn, he said that he was calling his popcorn selling "Casey's Dino Raptor Snack Shack" and that his popcorn was five dollars. "But this says twenty dollars," Mamaw said. Casey looked surprised and confused. He told her, "Um, no. That's too much money. I say just five dollars." We all had a good laugh about that lol. He doesn't realize that fundraising has preset prices and that no matter what you're raising money for, it's always "too much money" - but the money goes to a good cause!

We are so proud of Casey for trying something new; especially something that involves learning good skills, building character, and being part of an honorable and respected organization. Casey has always been a hero in my eyes because no matter what challenges he's had to overcome due to his hearing impairment and autism, he's always come out on top and shown everyone that he's just as smart (if not smarter) and as capable of participating in things just like anyone else!

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Thank you for reading about Casey's story! I will be sure to keep you updated as the fundraising progresses and give you a grand total as well! $600 is what they hope each individual scout will raise and $1600 is the amount they said one needs for free Scout Residence Camp (I'm a newbie, so I don't know what this is, but I'm sure I'll find out lol!). Right now, he has done around $70 in sales (obviously, he has a long ways to go!). Please, feel free to pass this blog post along if he has inspired you as much as he inspires us! Email it, post it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. and use the hash tag #caseysdinoraptorsnackshack . We appreciate your support! If you would like to purchase something from "Casey's Dino Raptor Snack Shack", just click on this link lol. No, Casey's five dollar pricing isn't applicable lol. However, it will go to support his troop as well as get him on his way to earning that rocket kit and purchasing items scouting related. Even if you don't like popcorn, you can buy some and have it sent to our military troops and their families instead! Everybody wins! Thank you for helping to make the dreams of a special needs child come true! God bless you!

Getting Through the "Crazy Times"

I knew this week was going to be a turning point. It’s like all these months have been leading up to this; the moment when things truly become real and everything starts truly changing/beginning again.

It’s been eight months now since my life has been completely turned upside down. I’ve had to adjust to so many things (and am still adjusting). I don’t know how to articulate it all into something anyone can understand, because I don’t even know how to describe it to myself and have it make sense. So, I think I will skip sorting through the details and just basically say that this week truly feels like my new beginning. I thought my new start was when I moved out, but I guess there are lots of things that have to die/end before things really begin again.

Monday was the “legal” death of my marriage; though it died long ago. Though, now, it finally comes with lots of long awaited provisions in order to help get my kids and I ready to truly be on our own. All this time, we’ve been living with my parents (and thank God for them!). Though, soon, I’m sure we’ll be able to transition to being in a place of our own.

Perhaps that’s the reason I haven’t fully “settled in” in all these months. Myself, and my parents, have been after me to organize/clean up my room. I have straightened up here and there, but it’s never been fully “complete”. So, today, I decided that that’s what I was going to do since I have the time and am off this whole week from work (someone forgot to schedule me, and rather than bring it to their attention, I took this as a sign that I needed the break - and I’m glad!). Amazingly, I discovered a deeper reason why I haven’t straightened things up. It’s more than mere lack of time, effort, and procrastination. It’s because when I look around and see everything getting in its place, I feel settled in. That brings up the feelings of “nothing is going to be the same again” which forces you to face the shock and denial that you’re living in. In my heart, I think I felt “why should I really put things away. It won’t be there long. I’m not staying here. This is just temporary. Don’t get comfortable. Don’t make this home.” The old part of me knew it was because it felt like this wasn’t really happening and that this was just temporary until my life resumed. The other part KNEW that this was just a transition and that I would soon start a new life in a new place at some point. So, it’s a very torn feeling to be living in a sort of purgatory between the life you left and the life you’re going to.

So, I’ve been crying quite a bit today as I’m facing the fact that soon, everything is going to change AGAIN. I’m truly going to be living as a single mom and learning for the first time what it’s like to live on my own without parents or a husband. The idea of it feels strange and lonely. I have no idea how to embrace that.

This whole past year has felt like a slow and painful death. However, I think I’m finally starting to feel like the worst is over and things are really turning a corner - hopefully. Spring is almost here, and that means new life. This is my new life coming into season. Grieving is still painful, but not as frequent as it was (mainly due to keeping myself busy and distracted - yeah, I know…I have to deal with it SOMETIME!). I still have a VERY long way to go, but I think I’m starting to wake up.

The final thing that sparked in me today was when I decided to put my iPod on shuffle. “Crazy Times” by Jars of Clay popped up. The words hit me like a fresh load of bricks:

You're cold that way
And that's why you say
The things that you say
You can't attract
The things that you lack
You're trying in vain

It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and realize
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right

You spiral down
You've broken your crown
You don't feel like a queen
You've seen the proof
But you're still crying wolf
You'll never believe

You try to climb a broken ladder
Grip the missing rungs
And fall down, down, down
Seems sometime ago you said
This wouldn't last
And now you sit here crying

Beside your bed
You feel left for dead
You kneel in the dark...

It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right


This song took me back to my senior year of high school where I was in a severe state of depression and the music of Jars of Clay spoke to me in ways that helped so much. I see the parallel between then and now and how this song makes more sense to me than it ever did. A large part of me has gone cold, and it’s why I have been the way I am and acted the way I have for a while. I’m not myself, and I can’t expect to “attract the things I lack” and make myself better. I am not going to bring about positive/good things in my current state and with my admitted angry/prideful attitude that has caused me to be running in the opposite direction of where I should. In these “crazy times”, you eventually wake up and realize that you can’t save yourself. Your tears and whining aren’t going to make things right if you don’t have the attitude to do a 180 and just continue to complain about the pain and not do anything to yank yourself out of it. So many times, I have cried “God, please make the pain stop!” and have been furious that it hasn’t, even though a good portion of it has been brought on by my own actions. So, today, I felt inside: “No, YOU make it stop!” I CAN MAKE IT STOP! It’s within my power via my free-will. I can make different choices; the choices I need to in order to MAKE IT STOP! God can’t “stop” pain that I’m choosing! The only pain that He can stop is the pain that I surrender to be healed.

I’m knocked down and falling; not feeling “like a queen” or the child of God I was. Despite the prayers and advice and evidence all around that God is there for me (and always has been) I’ve “cried wolf” as if He hasn’t been. So, I climb my own incomplete and broken ladder, and keep falling. I‘ve kept thinking that eventually, I would give it up and quit being stupid…and that whatever “phase” I’m in won’t last long. I’ll snap out of it and rebound as I usually do. Yet, here I sit….crying  (as I often do). I have yet to snap out of it. Nothing has hit me hard enough; or maybe it has but it has made ME hardened and more resistant. I’ve never been in a phase this severe or for this long. I know all that it takes is a decision to flip the switch, but I haven’t cared to do so. Why? I’m not sure. I WANT to care, but I don’t. So, that’s about the only prayer I pray right now: “I really don’t care, but I want to/should. Please, make me care again.” I think I’m almost done running and resisting - almost. I’m getting there. Patient and forgiving is He - if only I could be with myself!

Thank you to everyone who is praying for me and my crazy messed up life/state of mind. God bless you all, and thank you to all my REAL friends who have helped me through all of this and continue to be there for me! I appreciate those of you who haven’t abandoned, betrayed, or made things worse for me! I love you!!

Faith Isn't Cheesy!

Sometimes, I just get that nudge inside that something has to be blogged. It’s a sense of urgency that has the feel of, “this is going to change someone’s life…I must share it NOW!” Though, usually, that someone is me. Whether anything I ever post helps anyone else or not, I’m always assured that God’s Word never returns empty (Isaiah 55:11). So, at the very least, it always does this poor soul some good! 

Oh, how I’ve missed this! I have a “welcome home” kind of feeling right now! It’s been months since I have blogged (my friend, Shane, pointed out that I am so far behind!). It‘s not intentional, but my life has changed so much in the past three months and I haven’t had the time to do many of the things I used to do. So, just a quick synopsis, for those who don’t know, before I get to the subject of what inspired this entry:

On July 8th, the day after my birthday, my children and I were forced to move out. We moved in with my Dad and step-mom and have been trying to adjust to our new life ever since. The kids seem happy and content, but Mommy is having a harder time. It’s difficult to adapt to so many things all at once and figure out how to cope and heal after spending over ten years of my life with the one I thought was going to love me forever. I had always thought (and been told) that I am a strong person, but I have never felt more weak and broken than I do right now. Though, what little faith I have left tells me that I will be eventually be ok; and the prayers and support of many keep me hanging on and give me hope (even if I’m only hanging on by a thread). So, please know that I am thankful for all of you who are helping me hold my head up! You all know who you are, but just to name a few, a BIG thanks to my Dad and Lauri (for whom I do not have enough words to thank or express my gratitude! THANK YOU for your support in every way and for being our refuge and safe place!), my Mom, Nat, and Ryan (whose love and support from afar is a comfort to me no matter how great the miles), and my Grandma Sauers who continues to amaze me with all she is able to give of herself (you are so brave to tackle the task of caring for Gianna when needed lol). To every single one of the rest of my loving family, I cherish and appreciate you as well! Thank you!! Also, my AMAZING friends (particularly - but certainly not limited to - Adam, Jama, Shane, Amy, April, Mama Saun, Facebook friends, co-workers, and Casey’s teachers). I would not survive this without you (and thank you for being true friends)! I am eternally grateful for your love, prayers, wisdom, support, and even the laughter you bring to my life when I need it the most!! I love you! OXOXO Oh, and to my haters, I am thankful for you too! I forgive you and you make me stronger, and I bless you!

And now, to talk about what stirred me to blog in the first place. It’s not too far off from what I have already been talking about, but the starting point is a little different (and maybe unusual). This blog is actually the result of an episode of “Glee” that I just watched on Hulu. Anyone that knows me knows that it’s one of my favorite shows (even if there is some content here and there that I don’t truly agree with). Apparently, “Glee” is pushing the envelope even further this season. This episode, “Grilled Cheesus”, nearly makes me want to say “I will never watch it again.” Almost. That’s because while there are often many mistruths, the show often redeems itself (though not usually all the way) by the end of the episode (Click on the link if you want to see what I mean. Please note that episodes expire after a while, so this link will not always work). 

The title of the episode deal’s with Finn’s issue of a grilled cheese sandwich that appears to have the face of Jesus in it. It’s reminiscent of the stories we often hear about people finding Jesus or the Virgin Mary’s face in unusual places (and how people end up praying/worshiping the object rather than God himself. Satan is clever with these deceptions isn‘t he?). Finn tends to go to that extreme. He ends up praying to it and thinks that all his prayers are being answered when things start going his way (the team wins their game, he gets to fool around with his girlfriend, and he gets to be the quarterback again). Yet, he feels particularly bad when that third prayer happens as a result of the other quarterback getting injured which prompts him to share his grilled cheese nonsense with the school guidance counselor. She does set him straight by pointing out that winning the game came as a result of teamwork and a better coach. Also, what she appropriately classified as “inappropriate touching” was a result of Rachel’s own free-will (which, as of course she didn’t mention, wouldn’t be a prayer God would answer to Finn’s liking anyways considering it’s not something in line with His Word). Thirdly, the quarterback injury was a result of an opposing team member being over-age, on steroids, and practically crushing him to death. Finn expresses his disappointment by saying he felt rather ordinary again and like he didn’t have the direct line to God like he thought he did. Of course, those of us that know better would have told Finn that one DOES have a direct line to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ (and not a grilled cheese) who makes intercession for us (Isaiah 53:12, Romans 8:26-27). So, Finn doesn’t have to feel ordinary if he belonged to Christ and became an heir with Him (Romans 8:17). That should make you feel pretty special!

The entire episode just screamed “ride the fence” because it didn’t decide on anything. Just the basic, “whatever works for you is fine.” Sue Sylvester and Kurt both expressed their unbelief and disgust at the idea of God. Sue’s issue was the fact that she prayed hard for God to heal her sister, when she was younger, when she realized that the beautiful woman she valued her sister to be was ridiculed by everyone else (her sister in the show has Down Syndrome). However, her sister corrected her as they talked over a game of checkers and assured her that God doesn’t make mistakes and asked Sue if she would like her to pray for her and a teary-eyed Sue said “yes” (though they showed no prayers being made right then). 

Kurt’s issues dealt with his father who suffered a heart attack and was currently comatose in the hospital. He was pushing his friends (and their faith) away as they offered their help. One of his reasons was that he stated his anger at God for making him gay and then directing His followers to hate him. He also expressed that he didn’t feel that churches were welcoming of gay people (though he did attend church with Mercedes later on). Here we find a lot of twisted ideas (on both sides, mind you). First of all, God does not create or permit sin and Christ died to atone for it. We are born with a sin nature as a result of this fallen world (and we all have a free will) and the sin vices that we have vary from person to person. One person’s struggle is completely different from another’s. Take me, for example. One of the things that I struggle with is my weight and tendencies to overindulge. While I am accepted by God (and pretty much everyone else) just as I am, it isn’t permissible for me to be a glutton or to misuse/abuse the body that He gave me. Whether or not family genetics determines how easy/hard it is to maintain a healthy body is no excuse. I am still responsible for how I care for and rehabilitate myself to correct the problem. It would be a mistake for me to say, “I’m fat and that’s just the way I am and there’s nothing I can do about it and everyone should just accept it.” That would be incorrect thinking. There IS something I can do about it and I SHOULD (and am!). No matter what sin a person struggles with, there IS hope and we should actively work on obtaining our freedom through Christ from our various bondages. Deliverance is always possible (and available)!

That brings me to the other point of Kurt’s comments. He is wrong in stating that God directs His followers to hate gay people. We are told to love one another (John 13:35). Jesus does not condemn anyone who is in Him. He was infamous for dining with “sinners” prostitutes, tax collectors, and those whom society despised. However, He didn’t endorse their behavior, and those that encountered Christ had a change of heart/life. He approached people with love and gentleness, not condemnation. Remember the woman at the well (John 4:1-30)? How about the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11)? Didn’t he tell us not to throw stones (verse 7)? Though, notice that after he told the woman that he did not condemn her, he instructed her in that last verse to leave her life of sin. We who are in Him should not continue in sin (1 John 3:6-9, 1 John 5:17-19). And we certainly aren’t condemned if we are walking after the Spirit and not the flesh (Romans 8:1-2). 

However, Kurt is sadly right about one thing. There are many that hate and don’t welcome gay people. There are those that condemn, hate, slander, and ostracize. The body of Christ needn’t do this and that’s where some Christians twist “God hates sin” into “God hates people” and that is NOT true! No matter what the issue, we should have open arms to welcome and help people just as Christ does for us. It’s like an article I once read where a former homosexual was criticizing the church for not being there for Ray Boltz (and others) when they “came out” (I couldn't find the article I read before, but I did find a good one here). If they had, they might have gotten the help and support they needed but instead, they felt unsafe about talking about their struggles because of the way some (like the Westboro Baptist Church) treat people. We have support groups for sex/drug/alcohol addicts, anger and overeating addictions, and everything else under the sun, but in this area we are failing profusely and mishandling it badly! This bothers me greatly because I have close friends that are gay as well as those that have overcome it, so I have great compassion on this issue. Everyone is God’s creation; precious in His sight. They are a treasure to Him and they are a treasure to me as well, and I know how I would feel if someone starting listing my sins and condemning me to Hell for them instead of embracing me with love and being there for me to help me overcome my struggles. I would rather have someone say, “Let’s go for a walk, burn some calories, and go get a salad when we’re done!” rather than, “You’re fat and you’re doomed! Sucks to be you! Looks like you’re going to Hell, you glutton!” One statement says, “I love you and am walking through this with you…how can we help each other?” and the other says, “You’re on your own loser!” Which approach do you think is more effective, loving, and accepting? You can love and accept a person without endorsing sin. Jesus modeled that all the time. We should do the same!

Even though the show doesn’t always get things right, it does give you food for thought (if you know how to sort through the mess and know the truth from lies). It also illustrates the struggle we all have with faith from time to time. That’s what sparked inside of me so much when I watched it, because I can relate to it so much right now. Sometimes, I feel like Sue and Kurt and feel that maybe God really isn’t there and that if He was, He’s not a good God because of all I’m going through. But then, I remember that God isn’t the one who wrongs me, it’s the free-will of others that wrongs me. God is always perfect and good and can do no evil. People do things that are wrong, but God is there to make it right; though “when” He makes things right isn’t always on MY timetable. However, He promises that He WILL make things right (Hebrews 10:30). He who is judge is the one that will deal with everything accordingly and it’s not my right (or my job) to take on His role and pick up those stones. I am hoping for the self-control and grace I need to leave stones on the ground, because just like anyone else, I do fail and pick them up sometimes. If I do, I should give them to Jesus and He will put it in His rock pile to deal with. 

The biggest point that “Glee” made is that everyone needs something to believe in; especially in the hard times because what hope do you have if you don’t? Sue thought that that “fantasy” was useless, but that comes from a character who’s faith is only in herself. Real faith isn't fantasy or "cheesy". True faith is powerful! And, whether an atheist will admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that even they believe in SOMETHING because we are all created and geared to worship something; whether that’s God or self or someone else. The object/person that a person puts faith in may be different, but we all believe in "something." However, the problem with the general “something to believe in” idea is that it’s very vague and very misleading if you aren’t trusting in something (rather, someone) unfailing. Obviously, people fail us and we even fail ourselves. There is nothing completely unfailing, reliable, and trustworthy except for Jesus Christ. As Chad once said, “He’s the only way because He’s the only one.” Who else died for you, made you an heir with Him, and is coming back for you? Who or what else promises grace rather than earning “heaven” on your own merits and legalism? Why choose Jesus? Because He chose YOU! Now THAT’S something to believe in; and we'll see just what faith can do as a result!

Grace and peace to all of you! God bless all of you for reminding me that there really is something to believe in every day because you all believe in me (rather, the one who is IN me - and I in Him). Thanks for building me up and reminding me who holds my future and that I’ll have the strength to make it through because of HIM (Philippians 4:13) and can‘t do it without Him (John 15:5)…nor could I do it without so many of you walking through this with me too! Praise God for all of you!