There Is No 1985

"The timeline skewed into this tangent creating an alternate 1985. Alternate to you, me, and Einstein; but reality for everyone else." - Doc Brown, "Back to the Future: Part II". 

I think this quote describe grief, mistakes, and regrets best. There are so many moments where life as we know it "skews" into a tangent and creates an alternate reality. The timeline changes and what you once knew to be "1985" is no longer 1985 to you anymore. Some people experience that foreign reality with you and know that something has changed. Nothing will be the same and you wish you had a time machine so you could go back and reset the timeline. Others go on with life as if nothing has happened.  

Grief has several stages: Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. It's not a straight shot either. The shock takes a while to wear off and is an undercurrent for the next three for a while. Denial, anger, and bargaining take their turns; moment to moment and day by day. Sometimes, you almost think they're gone and that acceptance is right around the corner; waiting to greet you. Then, a trigger reminds you of the "alternate 1985" that you're living in; and you toggle through the stages some more. Grief truly is a process; and its timeline is one of the most endlessly varied ones there is. 

I think the "bargaining" stage is one of the hardest and cruelest things. It's where so many questions, "what ifs", and "if onlys" lurk. It's where the "time machine" lives. You revisit the past, imagine the scenarios that would have been if something were done differently, and start thinking about how that would make 1985 alright again. However, you know you can't change anything. The time machine needs to be left alone. You can't go back; and shouldn't even if you could. Time is in God's hands; not ours. Nothing can change a road not taken, a mistake made, or a person lost. About the only thing we can do with the time machine in our mind is go back to the best moments of life and think on all the good things (Philippians 4:8).

That's what I have tried to do in the midst of my own current grieving process. I gathered up my best moments and memories and was intent on making a blog post (but ended up making a video instead). This is the time machine I allow myself to use. It makes me feel like the "real 1985" still exists. Yet, it's sort of a danger because it makes me want to hold hands with denial more than I should. Grief sucks. It's hard.

It's the moments of knowing everything is in the past and can't be changed that the anger creeps up again. All the promises of the Bible that are embedded deeply in my heart start to feel like a lie. But, that's the twist (and we know where the "twisting" comes from); it's not a lie. I have to remember that there is a time for everything under the sun. It may be hard to understand the timing, but we can trust it (because we trust Him). Whenever something is hard and I wonder "why me?"; I have to ask "why Him?" I deserve to suffer; but Christ didn't. Yet, Jesus didn't spare Himself from suffering and death. He could have rescued Himself, but He didn't (well, not ultimately; though there were plenty of times He could have been taken out and wasn't...it's all according to the Father's timeline). He didn't spare His own cousin either (and poor John was sitting on death row wondering why because He knew and declared who Jesus was to all). Eventually, each one of us dies and faces judgment (Hebrews 9:27). With the exception of Enoch and Elijah, all will experience death (even Lazarus, who was raised from the dead by Jesus, still eventually died....again lol). Maybe we've had near misses in the past, and God has spared us from those near-death scenarios, but we won't get spared in this life every time. Our time will come; and we don't know when or how.

That point about John the Baptist (and many others in the Bible who weren't spared from suffering, tragedy, and death by our all-powerful God who could have stopped it if He wanted to) was brought up at Melissa Coy's memorial service. It's an important thing to remember because Jesus told us that we would have trouble, but that He has overcome it (John 16:33). I love it when the very things that God is telling/comforting me with show up in others too. That's the kind of perfect timing we all love! I was so glad that that was part of the message. It's assuring, affirming, and makes me feel confident that I'm hearing what Holy Spirit has been saying. It reminds me that there are no coincidences; God really is speaking and His truth is showing up in the hearts of so many at the same time! It's amazing and it makes any doubts fade into the background. We can trust the wisdom and timing of God; even when it doesn't make sense. We know that He has a plan and purpose for it all (Romans 8:28). 

The bottom line is this: there is no "1985". The timeline "skews" all the time. There's no normal; no baseline. The alterations are always happening; and they've been happening since the fall of man. The only TRUE and perfect timeline was before the fall; and that is why Jesus sacrificed His life for ours. Sin altered the timeline; but He reconciled it for good! He truly turned back time through His death and resurrection! Now, we wait for the day where it will be fully finalized and there will no more time at all; only eternity. Those who are in Christ are experiencing the joy of that right now; and this grief we're going through in missing them isn't like the grief of those who have no hope. However, those who died without putting their faith in Christ are experiencing eternal horror; and we truly mourn for their fate that cannot be changed. The finality of both should make us pause and think. It's truly the "Good News" for those who are already in His presence, but catastrophic for those who are not. Once we take our last breath here on Earth, our own personal timeline skews for one final time. This recent article about Ozzy Osbourne's death sums it up well; especially this part: 

Ozzy’s death is not about Ozzy

It’s about you.

The news of his death is not a tabloid event. It is a trumpet blast to the living. The man who once stood on stage and howled at the moon is now silent. The crowd is gone. The lights are off. And he is face to face with eternity.

So ask yourself: if the curtain fell tonight, would you be ready?

Do not play games with your soul. Do not wait to become a better version of yourself. Do not pretend that God is still deciding what to do with you.

He already has.

He sent His Son.

He opened the door.

And He promised – if you will repent and believe, you will be saved.

Not improved. Not reformed. Saved.

You will still die, but death will lose its power. It will become a doorway, not a sentence. And when the trumpet sounds, and your body rises, you will see Him – Christ – and He will not be your Judge. He will be your Joy.

I don't know much about Ozzy or where his heart was at (I truly hope he got saved). But I do know that we have a very different story with another celebrity that just passed: Hulk Hogan. The Hulkster accepted Christ and was baptized. We don't have to wonder who he put his faith in. 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Don't get stuck in the past. They're shadows of what has been. We live in the present, and that's the only time we truly have. The future isn't promised, so we have to make the best choices NOW while we still have "time". TODAY is the day of salvation. Once your timeline stops, that "skew" is the final decision. It will either skew up or down. Decide NOW which direction you want to go; because there are no time machines in Hell. Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve and follow the example of people like Melissa Coy who chose well. You can't alter the past, but you can still alter your future while there is still time to write it....so "make it a good one" by choosing to follow Jesus. Amen!

"I AM the Good News!"

Back in August, Chris was let go at his job. Since then, we have been praying and waiting for God to provide a new one. It's been a very difficult time in the wilderness, but we've weathered this before. This is the fifth time we have been through this since the lock-down in 2020. 

In the midst of this, we have also dealt with two vehicular incidents just five days apart (our insurance
is probably wondering what in the world is going on with us considering we have had to use the roadside assistance for towing TWICE in less than a week!). First, my daughter hit a deer on the way to work (praise God she was unharmed). Also, the van is clearly the R2-D2 of vehicles and is still fixable after countless mishaps. Five days later, she ran over something sharp that punctured one of my husband's tires on the Flex (which had been needing a couple new tires anyways). Thankfully, Chris and Uncle Frank (praise God for Uncle Frank!) were able to get the Flex up and running again; and are still working on the van. It really took some hard effort to put the tires and the much needed new shocks on the Flex before getting it to the tire shop for the alignment.

I can't say enough about how thankful I am that my baby is ok because both incidents could have been so much worse. I am also immensely grateful for Uncle Frank and how he has always been someone we can count on in situations like this. But, more than that, I know that I can count on God for our daily bread. If that's the one thing that I'm being assured of in these past few months, it's that undeniable truth. Every time I start to slip into an Israelite mentality of wanting to gather and prepare for more than I need for the day, He reminds me not to be afraid and that I'm worth more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31). As long as you remember who God is and that He will give you what you need for TODAY, you won't worry about tomorrow. All my "what ifs" and worries are settled every time He says, "Do you have what you need for TODAY?" I always have to admit that yes, my needs for the day have been met. "Daily bread, Melissa," he says. Daily bread.

As I have written about before, it's been crucial for me to reflect on all the past "manna moments" to remind myself that God is faithful. He has provided for me every day in the past and I can look back on it all and see how my God did not fail; and that's the story I'll continue to tell. I know that He will continue to give me the miracle of manna every day and that it will always be enough. Though, like I recently read in Lysa Terkeurst's book (Forgiving What You Can't Forget), it's easy to forget about the best bread that we truly need. Yes, we need the physical bread and provisions of life. Yes, we often need those miraculous moments of the miracle manna. But, we ALWAYS need Jesus; THE bread of life (John 6:35). There's nothing quite like a wilderness test to remind you that no one lives on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4). Jesus was tested with it, and that was His response when the devil tried to get him to focus on His physical needs.

I'm sharing this now because I was reminded of this while praying earlier tonight. My emotions had been stirred up a lot today for various reasons; one of them being this whole waiting for the job thing. Given that the election is just two days away, we have been aware of the fact that many places are probably waiting to see what happens on Tuesday before they make hiring decisions. Without wanting to put too much hope in something as short-sighted as elections, I just simply said "I just want some good news." He said to me, "I AM the Good News!" Read that again and think on it for a few moments.

As I thought about that response, I thought about the disciples. The Good News that Jesus kept telling them about often went right over their heads because they were hoping for Jesus to change their own Kingdom instead of receiving and building His. Just like I wrote about in my "Obama is Covered in Chinese Food" post in 2008, the Kingdom of Heaven is STILL here and STILL advancing every day! We must not be short-sighted! No matter what happens to help/hurt our nation (and the nations of the world), Christ is STILL King. He always has been and always will be and His Kingdom HAS NO END (Luke 1:33). No matter what happens, we can be content with little or with much; because we can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:11-13). This world isn't all there is! Be GLAD of that! That truly is Good News! All of this is temporary and we're going to make it because Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33). So, don't let your hearts be troubled!

 

Let us keep our eyes fixed on Christ and spread hope. It's no accident that that has been my word for this year. I knew that getting that word would likely mean that this year would be trying, because hope comes at the end of all the testing and persevering (Romans 5:3-5). He is the hope that never disappoints because He is faithful! This hope is a priceless treasure that lives in our hearts and we will not be crushed, abandoned, or destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:7-9) Through all the fiery trials and testing, we are being refined and He is going through that fire with us (1 Peter 1:7, Isaiah 48:10, Daniel 3:25).

Grace and peace to you, my friends! Pray, vote, and give thanks! God is good! He will provide for us and He will provide for you! To HIM be the glory in all things; because it's never about us! God bless you and God bless America!