Treasured In the Heart and in Heaven!

Have you ever watched "Inside Out"? It's that animated movie where you get an inside look into a little girl's head and you see how her thoughts and feelings work. You even get to see how some moments get turned into special "core memories"; a glowing, radiant ball that is nestled forever into the heart of who she is and shapes who she's going to be. It's an interesting movie because it makes you think about how a person perceives and processes things. 

 

Last Thursday, I was honored and privileged to get to witness this beautiful process when Paige showcased it to us at her student-led conference at school. In her language arts class, she showed us the memoir she was supposed to write. Chris, Casey, Gianna, Julie (Paige's biological mother), and I all gathered around her and her computer so she could show us her memoir and read it to us. When I saw the title, I was a little bit nervous and thought it might be a bit of an awkward moment. However, it wasn't awkward at all (at least not for me). I was very amazed and moved to the point of choking back tears when I read/heard these words:

My memoir is about getting new siblings.
My life lesson is: Not all change is bad.

“Get up, Paige!” called my dad. “We are meeting my girlfriend and her kids today, remember?” Now, those are some words of instant terror. I had already been worrying ALL NIGHT about what I was doing in the morning. I was afraid to see what she was like, what the kids were like, and how nice they were.

When we got to martin’s, we stopped at Starbucks and got some snacks. Then we did some brief shopping. I could see that her kids were very excited to meet me and the girl was very happy that she might have a new sister. They seemed very nice, but H-Y-P-E-R!

Months passed, and my dad finally decided that he was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. First, he asked me if I would like having her as a stepmom. I said yes. So he asked her to marry him, and she said yes.

On the day of the wedding everything went as planned, and they said their loooong vows. (Let’s just say there were some VERY profound words!) I had gotten to know Gianna and Casey, my step siblings, pretty well now. Sometimes we would get in fights, which left me feeling languor. Sometimes everything was calm and serene.

In the years after my parents divorced, I definitely had a pessimistic attitude. I had it set in my mind that no matter what, all change was bad. I thought change could never make things better, that life was only going to get worse. I realize now that I was wrong. My siblings have been a blessing in my life. I no longer am alone with nobody to turn to, like reaching out into the darkness to find that I have no hope. My siblings know how it feels to go through a divorce. They are always there when I need them, and I will always be there when they need me.

I was absolutely BURSTING with joy inside! It added a whole new dimension of perspective and emotions to my own core memories of those moments that she described. Not only that, but it created a completely new core memory inside of me that I will never forget and will treasure forever! The whole moment was so affirming and encouraging! It was a tremendous gift from God that I quickly realized was something that could only be described as the treasure in heaven that Jesus describes: 

 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21.

Their first photo together!

The reason Paige's story meant so much to me was because (as anyone from or in a blended family knows well) adjustments are hard and unpredictable. You hope and pray that when your families merge together, everyone will love each other and live happily ever after. You hope that you won't have the complications that came up in the blended family that you grew up in yourself. I won't go into details about all of that, but let's just say it is a relief to know that Paige's perception of our blended family is a good one. I absolutely love the fact that she has Casey and Gianna for her siblings. My favorite part is getting to watch her and Gianna grow up together and be best friends and sisters. I don't have any biological sisters; and the one step-sister I once had was never around. I've always had my brother Ryan, but I've never gotten to experience the sisterhood that others have. It is truly a priceless gift that God has given me with Paige and Gianna; I get to experience sisterhood by observing theirs. I get to witness their games, their fights, their laughter, and their bond every day. It truly thrills me and their connection has been there since day one!

From our "MeliPaige" Day!

The other thing that I adore about this moment is the assurance that Paige loves and accepts me; that she is happy that Chris and I are together and we're her new family. In my heart, I've always loved her as my own, but I've always been concerned that it wouldn't be reciprocated. Everyone knows that things can be tough when it comes to the relationship aspects. In my own experience growing up, I was always afraid that in my effort to love and bond with a new step-parent or step-sibling, it would be upsetting to the other biological parent. I won't go into details, but I'll just say that when a parent or step-parent makes it difficult or confusing for a child to bond with someone (whether intentionally or unintentionally) it causes a lot of problems and takes years to sort out. Sometimes, it leaves a lot of unnecessary wounds and scars to deal with and makes healing very hard; creating other "core memories" that you wish you didn't have. That's why I've always hoped that the family that we have won't have the kind of pain and problems that Chris and I had in the families we grew up in. I've always felt that WE have done a good job. I don't worry about our bonds in this family (as far as what we can personally control in our household). It's what happens when the kids aren't IN this household that can be troubling. I don't want any of the kids to feel the way I did; that they have to hide their life or their emotions from the other parents because the other parent is too uncomfortable. I don't want them to ever feel stuck in the middle, but I know that it happens. I hate it. It hurts me and it hurts them, but we can't can't change or control the feelings and actions of the other parents involved. We can only keep doing our best and assure them that no matter what, there is always going to be safety, love, acceptance, and kindness reigning in our household. We want them to love the other parent and create beautiful memories with them just like they do with us! Our greatest hope is that the other parents encourage the kids to do the same with us so that they have the best childhoods possible and that they have no hurt relationships and rifts with anyone in the future. Doing the opposite is actually pretty self-sabotaging because you end up poisoning the child against yourself in an effort to poison them against someone else. It's really hard on the kids and causes them a lot of confusion and sadness. I hope that there will be a day where parents everywhere will make a better effort to have peace; for the kids' sake. 

Our Family; Est. July 5, 2014

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I have greatly enjoyed sharing this moment with you because this is what life is truly made of! NO ONE can take away this core memory from her (or from me). It cannot be changed. It cannot be bought. It cannot be stolen. It's forever sealed in our hearts and in heaven where no one can alter, taint, sabotage, or take it from us! It's priceless! All the money in the world cannot create the memories and emotions that it gives us; which is great because most of us aren't rich and would have nothing good if these things were dependent on affordability. Thankfully, true riches are definitely made up of the stuff that money can't buy! These treasures are created with love and character. Each and every day, we invest those things in our children and it's obviously having great returns!! :) When our children are old and gray, this will be the stuff that means the most to them; the things that they'll tell their children and grandchildren about. The older I get, the more I hold onto these real treasures. I don't have much of the "stuff" that was bought for me; the clothes, toys, and whatever. All those things were fun at the time, but they're gone. They've been sold in a garage sale, packed away in storage, or thrown away. What I have is, "Remember that one time where Dad said...." or "remember when Ryan did ______ and it was so funny?" It's the quality time, wise words, hugs, kind gestures, and laughter that lasts forever! Doing life together (just as God intended) will give you the kind of hope and joy that Paige so rightly identified as a blessing in her life. May your own lives be overflowing with memories that touch you to your core!! God bless you!

Once Upon A TV Show...

Television. It isn't what it used to be. Today, most programs that you see are tainted with so much profanity, violence, and sexual references that there is little (if anything) to gleam from the programming. Most of what we have are crime dramas, distasteful sitcoms, and goofy reality shows. Whatever happened to some of the shows we used to love; the ones that were suitable for family viewing and often had themes of faith and family values? Well, if you can catch the reruns (or buy the series on DVD) you can still watch shows like that. My personal faves include "Little House on the Prairie", "Full House" (and not just because John Stamos is in it), and "Family Matters." I grew up on these shows, and there were always good things to observe and learn from them.

If you're like me, maybe you don't watch very much TV anymore because they just don't "make them like they used to." You stick to the re-runs and DVD collections, and maybe occasionally check out a new show to see if it's any good. However, it just doesn't compare with the kind of media we grew up on. However, an exception rolls around every now and then. I have come across just such a show. My friend, Kaitlyn, often tweets about the shows that she watches and I noticed how much she raved about the show "Once Upon A Time." Despite her insistence, I adamantly refused to give the show a try. While the genre did appeal to me, I had no desire to begin liking a new series that would probably end up getting cancelled should I decide that I liked it (my friend, Shane, understands this "curse" as well ha ha!). However, her incessant tweeting piqued my curiosity to the point where I decided I would check it out.

I went online and began watching the first episode. That was all it took! Everything about the series is absolutely captivating; the characters, costumes, sets, musical score, special effects, and most surprisingly, the storyline! It was a welcome surprise from ABC/Disney; I have been losing faith in their ability to provide true family entertainment for a long time!

The thing that I enjoy most, which is what has stirred me to blog, is the spiritual and Biblical themes. This show brings up so many scriptures, Bible stories, and spiritual concepts to my mind as I watch it. It reminds me a LOT of how C.S. Lewis used Narnia to teach those sorts of things to children. I can see the same theme at work in "Once Upon A Time" (whether it's intended to be there or not). The premise is that the evil queen places a curse on the fairy tale world. The characters are all sent to the "real" world to a town called Storybrooke. No one remembers who they really are or what has happened to them and the little town/characters go about their lives frozen in time. They are waiting for the the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White (who escaped the curse) to come and rescue them and break the curse. Throughout the series, we see everything unfold; in addition to viewing flashbacks of the fairy tale world and how everything came to be (and in relation to the characters and their histories). It's fascinating how each episode toggles between the real world and the previous one and shows how things transpired with the characters both then and now. There's always some sort of "theme" to each episode, and it's very deep and thought provoking!

It didn't take long for me to want to begin blogging the episodes. I didn't get around to it as soon as I would have liked, so I decided to wait until the series came to DVD so I could watch them again and take notes. The second season begins September 30th, so I am HOPING to get the first season episodes blogged BEFORE then (and then blog each week's episode soon after it airs). I'll do my best, but I might be a little behind lol. ;) At any rate, it WILL be done eventually (and I hope you all will enjoy them - especially if you're as big of a fan of the show as I am!).

So, while they may not make them as good as they used to, they sometimes come pretty close! God still moves in various and mysterious ways; including the media!! Keep your eyes and heart open!! You might be surprised! God bless you all!