Welcomed Home to Heaven

This isn't the post I anticipated writing. No matter how bad things looked, I don't think any of us who were praying actually thought this would be the result. We prayed for and expected a miraculous healing. So many saw and prophesied it; and I do not believe it was wishful thinking. The faith of so many banded together to offer up powerful prayers. We all contended for it and we know that God is able (He's still good and nothing changes that). The stages of grief (shock, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance) have cycled through so many times and acceptance feels elusive. We wanted to see a testimony of miraculous healing and for it to happen on Earth as it is in heaven. 

However, God decided not to reveal His power and glory in that way. Instead, the Father decided to give Melissa Coy the ultimate reward of coming home into His arms today. For that reason, we can all rejoice and know that we don't grieve like those that have no hope. 

In times like these, I think about something that Chip Ingram said in his "The Real God" book/series (which I HIGHLY recommend). When talking about the wisdom of God, he shares this point from A.W. Tozer: 

All God's acts are done in perfect wisdom, first for His own glory, and then for the highest good of the greatest number for the longest time. And all His acts are as pure as they are wise, and as good as they are wise and pure. Not only could His acts not be better done: a better way to do them could not be imagined. An infinitely wise God must work in a manner not to be improved upon by finite creatures.

As true and comforting as that fact is, it's still hard. For me, and for all of us, it's difficult to accept that Melissa Coy's work here on Earth was considered finished and that she was called home so soon. One of the many things that I'm grateful for is the fact that she got to see her one and only child, Addison, reach adulthood and graduate this year. She was there for all those milestones in his life, but what about all the ones to come? It hurts me so much to think about all those future events that she won't be here for. I had prayed so much for a King Hezekiah moment of reversal where the Lord would heal her and give her more time. Though, like her husband Derek shared recently, nothing stopped her from being there for her family and for others while she was here. No matter what she had to sacrifice or persevere through, she did it; and did it willingly. She made every moment count and it brought her joy; even though she had to push through so much physical pain (I know all of this too well myself because we both had/have the back issues). She was strong, determined, and exuded God's love in all she did. Going through life henceforth without her presence is a horrible new reality; though the spirit of God that was with her is with us too. The work and fruit of the Spirit doesn't ever disappear; it stays and goes on. In that way, she'll always be here because all she did in His Name is still here and the Kingdom will always continue without end. 

Please, pray for Derek, Addison, and the rest of the family/friends/church family. God's wisdom is a hard thing to comprehend and see clearly in the midst of so much grief. Though, what I've come to understand after many personal losses in life, it will lead to a brighter path and we'll be transformed by that healing process into a better version of ourselves for the Kingdom if we choose to align with it. If we choose to embrace the ways that God wants to use it all for His good purposes (Romans 8:28), we will be refined by the fires instead of being destroyed by them (Isaiah 48:10, 1 Peter 1:3-9). Sometimes, the best people are taken so the ones left behind can become better ones. Unfortunately, sometimes we seem to grow more/become better versions of ourselves as a result of tragedy rather than victory. Again, God's wisdom. Melissa got a glorious welcome home to heaven where she is pain/care free. We still have to deal with ours (and the pain of missing her) but this is hers and heaven's gain. The Kingdom will continue to advance in the aftermath of all of this because God is still good and the fruit Holy Spirit produced in her life will have ripple effects forever!

I'm reminded of a few songs right now that bring comfort in this broken place. I think of a cover song by Nightbirde (an AGT golden buzzer contestant who loved Jesus and also tragically lost her battle with cancer). She declares "my God did not fail" as she sings "The Story I'll Tell". I listen to it quite often; as well as her original song "It's OK". Mandisa (whose family I still pray for regularly, because the sudden loss of her is still a big hurt as well) has a song called, "He is With You". Also, Ryan Stevenson's "Eye of the Storm" and "When We Fall Apart" (which is about how he lost his mother to cancer). All of these songs help get the ache out while simultaneously remembering the hope of Jesus and giving Him praise.

Grace and peace to you, my friends. I hope and pray that all of us will draw near to God and He will draw near to us; for He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (James 4:8, Jeremiah 29:12-14, Psalm 34:18). God doesn't waste the pain; the testimonies and spiritual growth that is bound to happen in all of us who are walking through this will yield good fruit in time. Melissa's blessed homecoming will very likely lead to the opportunity for more people to share in that eternity as God does whatever He plans to do in all our hearts and it spreads for good. Blessed testimonies, miracles, and salvations can and will begin from where her earthly journey ended. Love never fails. God IS love, and He does not fail. Amen!

Treasured In the Heart and in Heaven!

Have you ever watched "Inside Out"? It's that animated movie where you get an inside look into a little girl's head and you see how her thoughts and feelings work. You even get to see how some moments get turned into special "core memories"; a glowing, radiant ball that is nestled forever into the heart of who she is and shapes who she's going to be. It's an interesting movie because it makes you think about how a person perceives and processes things. 

 

Last Thursday, I was honored and privileged to get to witness this beautiful process when Paige showcased it to us at her student-led conference at school. In her language arts class, she showed us the memoir she was supposed to write. Chris, Casey, Gianna, Julie (Paige's biological mother), and I all gathered around her and her computer so she could show us her memoir and read it to us. When I saw the title, I was a little bit nervous and thought it might be a bit of an awkward moment. However, it wasn't awkward at all (at least not for me). I was very amazed and moved to the point of choking back tears when I read/heard these words:

My memoir is about getting new siblings.
My life lesson is: Not all change is bad.

“Get up, Paige!” called my dad. “We are meeting my girlfriend and her kids today, remember?” Now, those are some words of instant terror. I had already been worrying ALL NIGHT about what I was doing in the morning. I was afraid to see what she was like, what the kids were like, and how nice they were.

When we got to martin’s, we stopped at Starbucks and got some snacks. Then we did some brief shopping. I could see that her kids were very excited to meet me and the girl was very happy that she might have a new sister. They seemed very nice, but H-Y-P-E-R!

Months passed, and my dad finally decided that he was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. First, he asked me if I would like having her as a stepmom. I said yes. So he asked her to marry him, and she said yes.

On the day of the wedding everything went as planned, and they said their loooong vows. (Let’s just say there were some VERY profound words!) I had gotten to know Gianna and Casey, my step siblings, pretty well now. Sometimes we would get in fights, which left me feeling languor. Sometimes everything was calm and serene.

In the years after my parents divorced, I definitely had a pessimistic attitude. I had it set in my mind that no matter what, all change was bad. I thought change could never make things better, that life was only going to get worse. I realize now that I was wrong. My siblings have been a blessing in my life. I no longer am alone with nobody to turn to, like reaching out into the darkness to find that I have no hope. My siblings know how it feels to go through a divorce. They are always there when I need them, and I will always be there when they need me.

I was absolutely BURSTING with joy inside! It added a whole new dimension of perspective and emotions to my own core memories of those moments that she described. Not only that, but it created a completely new core memory inside of me that I will never forget and will treasure forever! The whole moment was so affirming and encouraging! It was a tremendous gift from God that I quickly realized was something that could only be described as the treasure in heaven that Jesus describes: 

 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21.

Their first photo together!

The reason Paige's story meant so much to me was because (as anyone from or in a blended family knows well) adjustments are hard and unpredictable. You hope and pray that when your families merge together, everyone will love each other and live happily ever after. You hope that you won't have the complications that came up in the blended family that you grew up in yourself. I won't go into details about all of that, but let's just say it is a relief to know that Paige's perception of our blended family is a good one. I absolutely love the fact that she has Casey and Gianna for her siblings. My favorite part is getting to watch her and Gianna grow up together and be best friends and sisters. I don't have any biological sisters; and the one step-sister I once had was never around. I've always had my brother Ryan, but I've never gotten to experience the sisterhood that others have. It is truly a priceless gift that God has given me with Paige and Gianna; I get to experience sisterhood by observing theirs. I get to witness their games, their fights, their laughter, and their bond every day. It truly thrills me and their connection has been there since day one!

From our "MeliPaige" Day!

The other thing that I adore about this moment is the assurance that Paige loves and accepts me; that she is happy that Chris and I are together and we're her new family. In my heart, I've always loved her as my own, but I've always been concerned that it wouldn't be reciprocated. Everyone knows that things can be tough when it comes to the relationship aspects. In my own experience growing up, I was always afraid that in my effort to love and bond with a new step-parent or step-sibling, it would be upsetting to the other biological parent. I won't go into details, but I'll just say that when a parent or step-parent makes it difficult or confusing for a child to bond with someone (whether intentionally or unintentionally) it causes a lot of problems and takes years to sort out. Sometimes, it leaves a lot of unnecessary wounds and scars to deal with and makes healing very hard; creating other "core memories" that you wish you didn't have. That's why I've always hoped that the family that we have won't have the kind of pain and problems that Chris and I had in the families we grew up in. I've always felt that WE have done a good job. I don't worry about our bonds in this family (as far as what we can personally control in our household). It's what happens when the kids aren't IN this household that can be troubling. I don't want any of the kids to feel the way I did; that they have to hide their life or their emotions from the other parents because the other parent is too uncomfortable. I don't want them to ever feel stuck in the middle, but I know that it happens. I hate it. It hurts me and it hurts them, but we can't can't change or control the feelings and actions of the other parents involved. We can only keep doing our best and assure them that no matter what, there is always going to be safety, love, acceptance, and kindness reigning in our household. We want them to love the other parent and create beautiful memories with them just like they do with us! Our greatest hope is that the other parents encourage the kids to do the same with us so that they have the best childhoods possible and that they have no hurt relationships and rifts with anyone in the future. Doing the opposite is actually pretty self-sabotaging because you end up poisoning the child against yourself in an effort to poison them against someone else. It's really hard on the kids and causes them a lot of confusion and sadness. I hope that there will be a day where parents everywhere will make a better effort to have peace; for the kids' sake. 

Our Family; Est. July 5, 2014

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I have greatly enjoyed sharing this moment with you because this is what life is truly made of! NO ONE can take away this core memory from her (or from me). It cannot be changed. It cannot be bought. It cannot be stolen. It's forever sealed in our hearts and in heaven where no one can alter, taint, sabotage, or take it from us! It's priceless! All the money in the world cannot create the memories and emotions that it gives us; which is great because most of us aren't rich and would have nothing good if these things were dependent on affordability. Thankfully, true riches are definitely made up of the stuff that money can't buy! These treasures are created with love and character. Each and every day, we invest those things in our children and it's obviously having great returns!! :) When our children are old and gray, this will be the stuff that means the most to them; the things that they'll tell their children and grandchildren about. The older I get, the more I hold onto these real treasures. I don't have much of the "stuff" that was bought for me; the clothes, toys, and whatever. All those things were fun at the time, but they're gone. They've been sold in a garage sale, packed away in storage, or thrown away. What I have is, "Remember that one time where Dad said...." or "remember when Ryan did ______ and it was so funny?" It's the quality time, wise words, hugs, kind gestures, and laughter that lasts forever! Doing life together (just as God intended) will give you the kind of hope and joy that Paige so rightly identified as a blessing in her life. May your own lives be overflowing with memories that touch you to your core!! God bless you!

"I Can Love You Better"

Today was Scott Kaehr’s funeral. I can’t remember the last time I was so moved. I couldn’t stop crying after I saw his widow, Karen, because she and the entire room was heavy with sadness. Kent said, however, that Scott didn’t want people crying for him, but for the ones who don’t know Christ.

Scott was passionate about Christ! How wonderful it is that he is with Him NOW! It stirred my own desire for Jesus so much (which is just what I needed right now). In clips from his last sermon, Scott shared how he felt God saying that He loved him. Kent asked us if we had heard God say that to us. In my heart, I was thinking “not lately.” Emotionally, I have been very numb (to say the least). I won’t go into a bunch of details at the moment, but I’ll just say that grace like rain washed over me and I am doing much better. I don’t want to love or be loved by anything or anyone more than Jesus. I could feel Him say, “I can love you better.” It keeps echoing in my mind. He’s the ultimate love, and no one can out-love Him. He always has (and always will) love me most and love me better than anyone. He belongs to me, and I belong to Him. It’s Christmastime, and we celebrate the fact that He came to us, and for us, and He invites us to come to HIM.

Scott always made a point of telling us how prideful and arrogant he could be and how he wrestled with it. He always said we needed to humble ourselves and surrender. All of that, and more, resonated so much stronger with me today. I can’t even begin to describe all I thought and felt during the beautiful service today (which Scott requested that it be not about him, but about Christ). There was an altar call at the end, and so many people went up (praise God!). I prayed and thanked God where I stood, with Casey by my side. I also pondered what he might have been thinking, and about the day where he might be one to go forward when he’s old enough to understand. I know, and Scott knew, that nothing is more important than Jesus.

I was concerned about the state of my heart lately, and how I would even prepare to enjoy and celebrate Christmas. Now, everything has been made right again. I don’t have the words to explain or express it all. All I know is that I am grateful for Christ and grateful for the impact He made on Scott because it has impacted us all. I venture to say I am jealous of the fact that he gets to be in heaven with Jesus right now. How glorious that must be! I want that too! I can hardly wait! Until then, I will remain faithful; trusting and clinging to Christ until my day comes.

Whether you knew Scott or not, please watch his last sermon. Ironically, he was showing people his casket and talking about the reality of death and the choice we all have to make. Please, please, watch these videos (there‘s three of them because Facebook only lets you upload so many minutes of footage at a time - you do NOT have to have a Facebook account in order to see it). I promise you will be glad you did!! Grace and peace to you, and God bless you all!! (Keep praying for Scott’s family - especially his wife, Karen, and that she will be empowered and strengthened by Christ and have all she needs to endure).

Part 1

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320153665569 (Sermon starts at minute 9:48)

Part 2

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320266825569

Part 3

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320602255569

Don't Be A "Rich Man"

Last week, Chad finished up the “Things Above” series. He brought up the interesting story found in Luke 16:19-31 about the rich man and the beggar named Lazarus. When both of them died, Lazarus was comforted in heaven and the rich man was in agony in Hell. The Bible says that he could look up and see Abraham with Lazarus by his side. He begged for pity and that Lazarus could cool his tongue with just a drop of water from his finger. But, Abraham told him that neither side could cross to the other; there was a great chasm between the two. The rich man begged Abraham to send Lazarus back to warn his brothers so that at the very least, they might not end up where he was. Abraham told him that that was what the prophets were for and that if they didn’t believe them, they wouldn’t be convinced even if someone were to raise from the dead. 

Chad talked about the interesting points about this parable. The fact that both sides could see the other (but not cross) and the fact that the rich man could remember his brothers. He made the point of saying that if those in heaven could see those in Hell, how “heavenly” would heaven really be? He compared that to what John described in Revelation 21:1-4 about the new heaven and new earth and how the old ones passed away. It is only after that is done that the word says that there is no more death, morning, or pain. It is only then that everything is final and everything is renewed and restored. Like he said, being able to see people in Hell with no hope of escape would be torture for us to observe/know just as it would be torture for them to see and know that they will never be free from torment. At least Revelation assures us that heaven will be the paradise it’s meant to be after it’s all said and done. Maybe the heaven that’s existing right now is sort of the “waiting room” for the heaven to come? It’s hard for me to wrap my brain around it all. 

Those are interesting things to think about. Since Jesus gives us a window into what heaven is and what it will be like at the very end, we should be mindful of those things when considering our choices here. If we are like the rich man and care only about our “heaven” on earth, that’s all the heaven we will get. If we are nothing but self-absorbed and concerned about our own selves, the only comforts we will have are the comforts that we seek and receive here. But, if we are humble and poor in spirit (yielding ourselves to God and seeking HIS will) our comfort will be our reward in heaven when we die and go to be with Him. 

Whenever I hear that parable, I always think about how awful it would be to be the “rich man.” I also think about how awful it would be to see people we knew on earth suffering on the other side of that chasm. Therefore, it makes me all the more concerned about telling others about Jesus so that they will not be like the “rich man.” I don’t want others to suffer in Hell; neither do I want to SEE them suffering. I will continue to live and speak the truth as best as I can so that that doesn’t have to happen. Though, it’s ultimately the choice of each person’s individual free-will. There will undoubtedly be people who choose NOT to be with Christ by denying and rejecting Him on earth. It saddens me that there are those that make “rich man” decisions to ignore Christ for the sake of temporary earthly pleasures. Why be so short-sighted? NO ONE escapes death! EVERYBODY dies! It’s an absolute certainty (for those that believe that there are no “absolutes” how do you answer that one?!). With that being said, shouldn’t we be concerned about where we will spend all eternity? Wouldn’t you rather be a Lazarus than a “rich man”? 

I hope and pray that you’re a Lazrus!! If you’re not, or you’re not sure, please don’t hesitate to talk to me!! I want to see you WITH me when this life is over; not on the “other” side. 

Grace and peace to all of you!! May the miracle of the resurrection of Christ be your greatest joy as you celebrate redemption today!! 

Grandma Is With Jesus

God’s timing is perfect. That is what everyone always says; and what I have always believed - because it‘s TRUE! He perfectly orchestrates everything - even if things appear less than perfect.

So is the case tonight. A few hours ago, I was notified that my Grandma has gone to meet Jesus. We have all been expecting and preparing for this, but still…the news does kind of “hit you.” I sat in shock for a few moments and didn’t react. Then, I got up and went to the bathroom to cry for a few minutes. Then, I just spent some time alone; to think, process, and pray.

I will have more to say at a later date. Knowing me, and the way I “process” I will likely end up writing something mushy and meaningful….later. But, for right now, I will just tell you about my last few moments with her and what it means to me….

My great-grandmother has been in the nursing home for about a year. She has had a lot of ups and downs but had always made it through. However, she was really tired. This cold that she has had for a while really made it hard for her to breathe. So, it’s understandable that she didn’t want to fight so hard anymore. All of the family decided to let her know how much we loved and cared for her and that we understood her willingness to be with Jesus. Yesterday, when I called her, I told her I was going to come see her. She said ok.

When I arrived, my cousins were there and preparing to leave. With tears in their eyes, my cousin, Van, told her that if she were to go home to tell his Dad, daughter, Brett (my Uncle) and everyone that we loved them and that we would all be together someday. Thinking about those words bring tears of both sadness and joy to my heart because while “parting is such sweet sorrow” there is joy in knowing that for those of us who have Jesus in our hearts, there is eternal life and we will all be together forever, with Jesus, someday.

So, trying to be strong, I sat beside my great-grandmother and held her hand for a while. She said she didn’t want to talk or see anyone anymore, but I stayed for a while. She closed her eyes and didn’t say much. I prayed in my heart as I held her hand. I tried to talk to her a little bit. Then, my cousin called. She didn’t want to talk, so I just held the phone to her ear and watched her open her eyes for a bit until she closed them again. At the very least, I think most everyone got to say good-bye and convey their love to her.

I had asked Grandma if she wanted to see my husband or kids one more time. She declined. I asked her if she wanted me to go and she said she didn’t care - though I know that she does and always has loved me and all of us. I gave her a kiss and told her I loved her. I walked to the door, turned back one more time to look at her and to see if she would look back. She didn’t. I took in the moment and knew that it would probably be the last time I saw her. At the very least, I had peace that I would see her again and that she was going to be with Jesus soon!! I wished I could too - though I know that it is her time, not mine. I know that I will be with my Jesus after all I have accomplished for Him is through. I will live for Him and live a life of purpose and fulfill my destiny. I can only hope that I will live a full and long life such as hers; a life so rich, not with material wealth but true treasure. A life rich and abundant with happy memories shared with a loving family and so much to be thankful for!! Her life commemorates a grand legacy. She will be missed, but she does live on; in our hearts, lives, and in heaven with Jesus.

Like I said about God’s timing, it really is perfect. Of course, a death never seems like good-timing, but when thinking about the picture of life, you see it differently. My Grandma has Christ, so she has life. I can’t imagine how joyous she must be now that she is at home in heaven!! And, to go to heaven the day before we remember and celebrate Christ’s resurrection - what timing indeed!! Thank you, Jesus, for new life!!

Thank you all for your prayers. Pray now for the strength and health of our family. Many will be traveling home to Indiana soon. Pray for safety as well. Thank you for remembering us!!

Will You "Get In"?

Last night, one of my friends and I went to see a movie. It’s funny, because I almost missed out on seeing it with her because I lost my ticket!! We had bought the tickets and then had some time to kill before the movie started. So, we went shopping and came back. I had the ticket in my hand (or so I thought) as I was fiddling with some stuff in the van before we got out to walk up to the theater. So, somehow in that time frame, I misplaced it. We looked and looked and we couldn’t find it.

We decided to go on in and see if they would let me in anyways. The guy taking tickets told me that if the gal at the ticket booth remembered me, then he would let me in. I went and told her that I couldn’t find my ticket, and she said ok and told the guy that it was alright. So, he let us through.

When I thought about the situation later, it was so much more meaningful to me because I thought of how it might be in heaven when we are standing at the gate waiting to get in. God will ask for our “ticket” but what will we have to give him? Our own righteousness and works don’t get us in. We can’t “buy” or earn our own admission into heaven. So, if we think than any kind of money, riches, or even fame on Earth is going to get us in, we are going to be embarrassed, stunned, and dismayed when we end up standing there before God devoid of any real ticket to get us into eternity. Oh, how awful it would be to be turned away!!

So, what then? What’s the “ticket taker” [God] going to say? “If my Son remembers you, I will let you in.”

JESUS is our ticket into heaven!! HE paid the price of our admission!! So, if we knew Him well on Earth, He will remember us and let us into heaven when our life on Earth is over. But, if we didn’t, we’re out of luck and will be turned away. We MUST know Him NOW if we want to spend eternity with Him LATER!

So, do you have your ticket? I DO!! There’s an endless supply of tickets available to anyone and everyone who wants one; and they are FREE…..paid in full by Jesus Christ!! All we have to do is request it and accept it!!

And what of those who try to come in another “way” or “sneak in” to heaven? How tragic and frightening it’s going to be for them when they hear Jesus say the dreaded words “I never knew you.” (Matthew 7:23)

Jesus is the ONLY WAY; the truth and the life!! (John 14:6). There is NO ONE ELSE that can remember you and say, “He’s ok. Let him in!” Buddha can’t do that for you; Muhammed can’t do that for you; YOU can’t even do it! Jesus is the ONLY one who can tell the Father to let you in since He is the one and only Son of God; by whom you would be recognized as a child of God by the blood of His sacrifice!

There is no “back door” or sneaking past the “ticket taker.“ There’s no way to squeak by or “bargain” once your life is over!! Jesus is the one and only way to get a one way pass to eternity. If He doesn’t remember you, you’re not going to get through to see the “feature presentation” of eternity. Get your ticket NOW, because once your life is over the box office is CLOSED and you‘ll be forever stuck in a horror movie instead of having a “happily ever after“!!