Cross Walk

It is now October. This year has both simultaneously dragged on and flown by. As I've mentioned a lot already, there has been a lot of changes (both positive and negative) as well as grief; both personally and corporately. I cannot begin to list and explain them all. All I know is that my word for this year (Abide) seems laughable, ironic, and somewhat incompatible with the liminality that I've been experiencing this year. Everything seems very Twilight Zone-ish and the idea of "abiding" and remaining in such a weird in-between state makes me feel like it's harder to stay tethered to reality (because reality seems so much harder to grasp when I don't know how to make sense of or accept it). The last time I felt this disoriented and out-of-place was during the turbulence of 2010 - 2013 when I was getting divorced and having to adjust to a life and identity I didn't recognize.

Thankfully, at the heart of the word "abide", is the fact that it's not about abiding in my circumstances but abiding (remaining) in Christ; and Christ abiding in me. That is an anchor for my soul; the tether of all tethers that keeps me grounded. With a lot of intentional heart-work, I've been able to cope and adjust far better than I did fifteen years ago. Back then, I multiplied my pain by running to all the wrong things and away from Jesus. This time, I've done the opposite and can see the clear difference between how my current and former selves have chosen to endure and grow through changes, hardships, and grief. 

As I was reflecting about all this, I really sat deep in thought about how Jesus told us to deny ourselves and take up our crosses and follow Him. I know that none of us have all the answers to the "whys" of sufferings. Yet, as I absorbed Jesus' words, all the broken pieces seemed to come together like a mosaic; bringing the bigger and more beautiful picture together. 

First, there's the denial of self; the forsaking of our flesh and all of our pride and self-proclaimed wisdom. The decision to do so is an act of humility, admission, and surrender. It's a declaration of dependency on Christ. The choice to follow Jesus is twofold because He told us no one can serve two masters. Christ and the flesh go in two different directions; you can't follow them both. To follow one means to unfollow the other (Romans 8:12-14)

Next, there's the "take up your cross" part. It made me think about how individualized that is. We all have unique burdens and struggles to bear. My cross of suffering is a different one than someone else's. We all have hardships, traumas, losses, and sufferings, but the variances between us all are endlessly unique and nuanced. So, whatever that looks like for each of us, it really is "our cross to bear." We each carry our own, but we do have others believers to lean on and help us (Galatians 6:2-5). Even Jesus had an "inner circle". Peter, James, and John went "further in" with Jesus. Even as Jesus carried his literal cross, He had help from Simon of Cyrene. We don't have to (and shouldn't have to) go it alone. Pastor Roy recently had a great message about this! 

Now, here we are at that final part: "follow me." Follow Him? How? Where? At one point, He told His disciples that where He was going, they couldn't come (John 8:14-24, John 13:33-36). Do you know what's interesting about both of these scriptures? In John 8, He talks about them dying in their sins. In John 13, He urges them to love one another and that while they wouldn't be able to go where He was going now, they would later. His death and resurrection made the way possible for all of us to go where we could not come before! The sin that separated us before would separate us no longer! We will not die in our sins if our faith is in Him! And He knows those who love Him because they obey His commands; loving God and loving others. 

The big picture? Christ said the way to the Father is through Him (John 14:6). It is by grace that we are saved through faith (Ephesians 2:8). He is the Savior; not us or our works. We deny ourselves and admit that we cannot save ourselves and that His way, not ours, is the way we are going to follow (self-denial and surrender). Then, we armor up (Ephesians 6:10-18) and KEEP it on! That helmet of salvation is crucial! It's kind of like the Mandalorian; don't remove your helmet or allow it to be removed by others. Let the assurance of Christ's salvation guard your mind! "This is the way!" Now, use the rest of that armor on this journey to "where you are going". We are heaven bound, but we are not there yet. Until then, keep the breastplate of His righteousness on and your shield of faith up. Use it to deflect the fiery arrows of the enemy and strike down lies with the sword of the Spirit (Word of God). Keep the truth buckled around you and your feet always ready to walk in the Gospel of peace (and sharing it with others). Don't forget, we NEED others to share the Gospel with us as much as we do with them; we have nothing covering our backs aside from each other! 

The battle doesn't end until we take our last breath. We just have to keep fighting the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12). I know it's hard to carry that cross every day, but don't forget that it's HIS way that we are following! His yoke is easy and His burden is light; He will TEACH us (Matthew 11:28-30). We can cast our cares on Him because He cares for us (Psalm 55:22, 1 Peter 5:7). In THIS world, we WILL have trouble, but we can take heart because HE has overcome the world (John 16:33). Christ's own journey to the cross was no cakewalk either; why would ours be? From His birth to death, His life wasn't exempt from suffering. Think about all the hardship and chaos surrounding His conception, birth; and having to flee to Egypt afterwards. Think about all the persecution from the Pharisees and others which led to his arrest, torture, and execution. Even as He preached the Gospel and healed people, He didn't have a permanent place to rest His head. Our King never made His home in a palace or lived a life of creature comforts. He was born in a manager, slept wherever they were welcomed as they traveled, and was buried in a borrowed grave after suffering an excruciating and undeserved death on our behalf. 

Whatever burdens are nailed on our personal crosses that we carry have already been borne by our Savior. There's nothing He doesn't understand. He already suffered it all for us. Whatever we go through is to build our character and continue the journey of self-denial, picking up our cross, and following Him: 

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. - Romans 5:3-5

Over the years, it's become apparent to me that it's far too easy to say "why me" out of self-pity instead of "why me" out of curiosity. When wallowing gets chosen over worshiping, I'm making myself the focus instead of Him. I have learned that where I fix my gaze MATTERS more than anything! Whatever/whomever is the focal point, that's who is being followed. If I follow my own flesh, I'll go in circles and spiral out-of-control. When I fix my gaze on Him, He shows me the way out and keeps my feet on the right path. I remind myself to stay curious and pursue the "whys" in Him. Curiosity and seeking Him leads to the discovery of such wonderful treasures that can't be found in anyone or anything else! He shows me and teaches me the things I need to know. Though, sometimes there are things that seem unfair or don't seem to make sense. However, God told me a long time ago that sometimes I have to be ok with not knowing things. That's a hard one, because like most people, I like to know and have the answers. But, maybe some things are just too much for my finite brain to comprehend from an infinitely good, wise, and perfect God.

I've also come to the realization and acceptance of the fact that the war never stops. It's no wonder we are told to put our armor ON, but we're never told to take it off. It's hard, and I get weary of it. Though, do I really expect to not face hardships and suffering? Where does it say that we ever put our cross down? It may sound bleak to sort of say the suffering never ends, but it's true and not true at the same time. We're assured that no matter what thorn we have in our side, His grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:6-9). To some degree, C3PO's lament of suffering being "our lot in life" is true. No one is exempt from it, but
we don't have to worry about it: 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7. 

This is how we deal with the suffering of the now until the time where there is no more. The old order of things have not passed away yet. Right now, we have to contend with a "time for everything". It's not ALL suffering any more than it's all pleasure either. Sometimes the cross is heavier and sometimes it feels lighter; but it's always with us and so is He (and so is the church). 

Grace and peace to you, my friends! I'm still here for a reason, and so are you! Life is hard, but God is good; always. Forsake your flesh and surrender! Link arms with Jesus (and others) as you carry your cross, and follow Him all your days. You will get through this. You have crossed over from death into life (John 5:24). God bless you!

"I Can Love You Better"

Today was Scott Kaehr’s funeral. I can’t remember the last time I was so moved. I couldn’t stop crying after I saw his widow, Karen, because she and the entire room was heavy with sadness. Kent said, however, that Scott didn’t want people crying for him, but for the ones who don’t know Christ.

Scott was passionate about Christ! How wonderful it is that he is with Him NOW! It stirred my own desire for Jesus so much (which is just what I needed right now). In clips from his last sermon, Scott shared how he felt God saying that He loved him. Kent asked us if we had heard God say that to us. In my heart, I was thinking “not lately.” Emotionally, I have been very numb (to say the least). I won’t go into a bunch of details at the moment, but I’ll just say that grace like rain washed over me and I am doing much better. I don’t want to love or be loved by anything or anyone more than Jesus. I could feel Him say, “I can love you better.” It keeps echoing in my mind. He’s the ultimate love, and no one can out-love Him. He always has (and always will) love me most and love me better than anyone. He belongs to me, and I belong to Him. It’s Christmastime, and we celebrate the fact that He came to us, and for us, and He invites us to come to HIM.

Scott always made a point of telling us how prideful and arrogant he could be and how he wrestled with it. He always said we needed to humble ourselves and surrender. All of that, and more, resonated so much stronger with me today. I can’t even begin to describe all I thought and felt during the beautiful service today (which Scott requested that it be not about him, but about Christ). There was an altar call at the end, and so many people went up (praise God!). I prayed and thanked God where I stood, with Casey by my side. I also pondered what he might have been thinking, and about the day where he might be one to go forward when he’s old enough to understand. I know, and Scott knew, that nothing is more important than Jesus.

I was concerned about the state of my heart lately, and how I would even prepare to enjoy and celebrate Christmas. Now, everything has been made right again. I don’t have the words to explain or express it all. All I know is that I am grateful for Christ and grateful for the impact He made on Scott because it has impacted us all. I venture to say I am jealous of the fact that he gets to be in heaven with Jesus right now. How glorious that must be! I want that too! I can hardly wait! Until then, I will remain faithful; trusting and clinging to Christ until my day comes.

Whether you knew Scott or not, please watch his last sermon. Ironically, he was showing people his casket and talking about the reality of death and the choice we all have to make. Please, please, watch these videos (there‘s three of them because Facebook only lets you upload so many minutes of footage at a time - you do NOT have to have a Facebook account in order to see it). I promise you will be glad you did!! Grace and peace to you, and God bless you all!! (Keep praying for Scott’s family - especially his wife, Karen, and that she will be empowered and strengthened by Christ and have all she needs to endure).

Part 1

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320153665569 (Sermon starts at minute 9:48)

Part 2

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320266825569

Part 3

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=320602255569

God on the Greenway: Yielding

If there’s one thing that I have learned the importance of, it’s the value of yielding!! I’ve learned this principle the most while running around town and on the River Greenway. Yes, I admit, I most enjoy running uninterrupted. However, yielding is something I have had to learn and practice frequently (especially if I want to live to run another day!). ;)

You might recall that I once blogged about how I had to stop and tie my shoes. I pointed out that it’s better to stop and tie loose ends at that point rather than risk being stopped more roughly via a trip or a tumble! It’s a surrender issue either way you look at it. Either you surrender and fix a problem (and possibly save yourself from unpleasant consequences) or, you surrender to your pride (and possibly pay for it later)! Regardless, I think surrender is often inconvenient and loathsome to us, but since it MUST be done (one way or the other) which choice is obviously the better one?

The surrender/yielding issue has come up so many times in my running. One day in particular, I had it staring me right in the face! It happened as I was waiting to cross an intersection. I waited for the little white walking man to light up and when he did, I started running across. As I did, a huge tour bus (or something like it) was turning right in front of me!! I had a split second to decide what to do. If I continued, I would have been road pizza! But, because I YIELDED (even though I had the right of way!!) I was spared! I remember standing there in that intersection; looking at the short distance between me and the front of that bus and how close I had come. I looked up at the driver and threw my hands up in the air and said, “EXCUSE me!” I couldn’t clearly read the driver’s lips, but I think he/she was about as stunned as I was! I think they also knew that they were in the wrong and they waited as I finished getting across.

I thanked/praised God for saving me and for giving me the presence of mind to make the right split second decision. I wondered to myself about what I might have done had I had the mentality of, “No, it’s MY turn! I have the right of way! I shouldn’t have to stop! I’m going to keep going!” If I had an “about me” attitude, it literally would have killed me! The Bible isn’t making stuff up when it says: “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.“ - Proverbs 16:18 (KJV). Pride can and will kill you, but yielding saves your life! “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” - Matthew 10:39 (KJV). If you live for self, you’ll lose yourself (soul). However, if you lose yourself for Christ, your retain your self (soul) and live forevermore!

Yielding is an issue of either stubborn resistance or humble surrender. I know our sin nature makes it incredibly hard for us to do the right thing, but it’s not impossible. In fact, I think it’s simple enough that a DOG can do it! You can train a dog to yield to its master can’t you? Why can’t we yield to ours? I saw the perfect example of that on another occasion when I was running on the Greenway. I was going past a couple walking their dog when I saw it lay down behind them. I didn’t understand what it was doing. Most dogs get excited and try to come up and sniff you or something, but not this one. I thought that maybe this dog was tired from the heat or maybe just wanted to sit and watch me go by for some reason. Or, maybe it was just being a little “difficult” with its owners and didn’t want to walk anymore. However, I found out that none of these things were true! When I passed them again, after I had turned around, the dog once again laid down when it saw me coming. I smiled and asked the people if she was hot or tired. They said, “No, we trained her to do that.” I was just blown away by that! I thought it was amazing that they had instilled in the dog that kind of humbleness and respect! Like I said, many dogs on the Greenway are so excited and wrapped up in their own adventure of walking, sniffing, and um…..well, you know…that they don’t have time to “wait” on anyone or anything (remember Hitch…the inspiring, but hyper, dog?). This dog was a refreshing exception! I was humbled and refreshed by her graceful behavior. She had respectfully “bowed” (in a sense) to me. She laid down and put me above herself. It makes me think of these two verses:

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” - Philippians 2:3 (KJV)

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." - Luke 14:11 (KJV)

What would happen if we honored God (and others) more than ourselves? What would happen if we ALL put pride and selfishness aside? What if we stopped pursuing our own desires and agendas and just bowed down in respect, humility, and service a lot more often? Can you imagine how much sweeter this world would be if we treated one another with this kind of mutual love and respect? Personally, whenever I see a glimpse of this, I grab onto it and treasure it in my heart. I cherish those moments and use them as fuel for my own behavior. Of course, I’m not perfect, but I strive to have a yielded heart of servanthood and submission!

Grace and peace to all of you! I pray that each and every one of us will learn to put our pride aside and yield to the Father’s Will! Pride can only bring us misery and destruction, but surrender brings us joy and life!! Yes, it can be difficult, but it’s far less painful than self-made problems resulting from our refusal to yield!! God bless you all!!

Rethink Jesus: Part 2

Last week, I was giving blood and didn’t get to hear the message that Kent preached. So, I went to our church website to listen to the newly added podcast in the series. As with all the messages, I encourage you to listen to them for yourself (especially ones like these that go into deep detail).

As I listened to the message online, I soon realized that I must have missed something interesting. I heard the worship team singing a song and then what seemed to be a conflict of sorts. Apparently, a bunch of people were onstage playing basketball while the band was trying to lead worship. How disrespectful and distracting it was to be disrupting what was supposed to be a time to worship God!

Kent used this very example to talk about the next portion of the “Rethink Jesus” series. He was talking about Jesus going into the temple and overturning tables. I know that sometimes, people get the wrong impression about this. Some even think that maybe Jesus was out of line. Was he? Well, let’s see…..Kent said that if one doesn’t understand why something is being done, one will often make the wrong conclusions about what IS being done. No kidding!! How often do we misinterpret things out of our own ignorance or failure to explore deeper? How often do we jump to conclusions and get the wrong idea about something? So often, we fail to give a person, or circumstance, a fair look and we just take from it what we want. We totally miss the point when we unintentionally (or in some cases, purposefully) fail to see the whole picture and the purpose behind what we see on the surface.

Such is the case with Jesus and the circumstances surrounding his actions in the temple. So many people don’t see the MOTIVE behind it all!! They just think, “Man, he lost his temper! How horrible!!” But, that’s not it at all!! And, as a matter of fact, anger isn’t a sin - particularly if it’s righteous anger (just like in the case with Jesus). Ephesians 4:26-27 says: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” It’s ok to be angry; just watch your reaction. Emotions, including anger, are natural responses to situations that come up in our lives. It’s not a sin to have the emotions; it’s only sin if our emotions produce a bad fruit. That is why the verse warns us not to let the “sun go down” on it. If we don’t let go and move on from our anger quickly, it has a way of sticking with us and becoming a toxic poison that gives Satan the foothold that he wants. He takes that small window of opportunity and uses it to produce more anger, bad attitudes, pride, and all sorts of things - all because we chose to react badly and refused to let go of anger and forgive.

So, understandably, Jesus was rightfully angry about what was being done in God’s holy place of worship. The temple is supposed to be “a house of prayer.” However, the temple was being made into a “den of robbers.” (Mark 11:15-17). Because of all the buying and selling going on in God’s holy temple, people were prevented from going into the temple for the reasons it was built for - to honor and worship God. And, those that were buying and selling were taking advantage of and exploiting the poor. Those simply trying to celebrate the Passover were having a hard time affording the things they needed. And, ironically, all this was being done for “religious” reasons. All the buying and selling was being done in preparation for the Passover feast. And yet, the whole point of Passover was tainted, polluted, and exploited for financial gain. The meaning was becoming lost because it just started being all about the rituals, rules, and capital gain.

It all comes down to the things Kent mentioned: “relationship vs. rules….close vs. distance….love vs. power…..God’s Kingdom will be moved by love and not power.”
The bottom line is, God wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to be close to you. He wants a RELATIONSHIP with you!! God doesn’t want all the superficial rituals and rules of our “religion.” He doesn’t want us to have a shallow faith. He just wants to be with us!! He wants to live in OUR temple; a temple that houses His Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 3:16).

Speaking of us being the temple, Kent reminded us of 1 Corinthians 6:19 which says: “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” Did you KNOW that? Do you KNOW that your body is a temple for God? Therefore, if you are in Christ and He is in you, shouldn’t you be taking care of the temple in which He dwells? Or, does Jesus need to overturn your tables within? Kent said Jesus had done that to him many times. And, I know he has done it to me. I have not always taken care of my “temple.” I have even hated my temple (and how offensive is that not to love the temple in which God dwells in!!). But, God overturned my tables. He showed me how to love myself the way that He loves me. I am a child of God created in His image and I need to love and respect myself. And, I also need to take care of myself - which is a BIG reason why I decided to lose weight. Those are just a couple of the many examples in which God overturned my tables and gave me a wake-up call to straighten up! I can’t thank Jesus enough for doing that because everything he does (even if it seems “harsh”) if we really look at His motives, it’s all out of LOVE!! The Lord disciplines those that He loves!! (Proverbs 3:12).

So, what’s on your tables in your temple? What do you need to humble yourself about? If you don’t do it, God will do it for you…..and believe me, you don’t want it to have to come to that!! Don’t hold onto your pride so long that Jesus has to really shake you up to wake you up!! But, He will if He has to because He LOVES YOU!!

The Bible says in Psalm 51:16-17: “For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” In other words, humble your hearts and be broken before Him. Clean up your temple!! Submit your sacrifices to God - the sacrifice of your heart and not the rules and rituals that mean nothing. Truly give yourself up to him in humble surrender and repentance and He will restore you!!

The Fruit Factory

Today, Chad went more in depth about the “bird” referenced in the parable of the sower (please see my previous blogs if you missed the first couple parts). Of course, the bird is Satan; who takes advantage of the rejected seed that lies on the path and snatches it away.

Satan first deceived humans when he told Adam and Eve that by eating of the forbidden fruit, they could be “like God.” But, that was a lie because Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). They didn’t realize all that they had. They were made in the image and likeness of God and already had that within their hearts. They knew no guilt, shame, or sin and they had fellowship with the Lord in the core of their being.

Satan schemes and masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) so that he can deceive us and separate us from the presence of God. He targets our heart (our mind, will, and emotions) in order to enslave us into bondage and keep us distanced from God. That is why we always have to be on guard (Ephesians 6:11).

Chad showed us that without God in our core, we become a prime target for Satan to snatch the good seeds away and plant the bad seeds. He uses whatever things he can (like the media, people, and even ourselves) to get us spinning like a top. He does it cleverly too. It’s just as Kent Hovind says; it’s taking a base of truth and then mixing it in with a lie. The result is a twisted concoction of deception that easily deceives and brainwashes because it does have elements of truth in it that makes it easy to believe. That’s why rat poison is so effective. A rat isn’t going to take that bait if it’s total garbage. The majority of the mixture is 99.99% “good food.“ The remaining 0.01% is the poison. But, that’s all it takes to contaminate and kill. And, that’s exactly how Satan does it (and how he uses others to do it for him). When a “spin” gets put on a basic truth, it can be twisted for evil.

Chad showed us this illustration by spinning a few tops on a table. When the lie gets in, we start spinning. In our heart, our mind starts thinking and doubting, which may lead us to choose to disbelieve God because our emotions get conflicted and it just goes around in a vicious circle. As we go round and round, we get spun around and confused by the lies. Then, we “spin out” and CRASH!! Of course, that is Satan’s goal, and he couldn’t be more pleased. He would rather us be objects of wrath (Ephesians 2:3) rather than God’s instrument of righteousness when His Spirit lives within us. I love how Chad called the fruit bearing Holy Spirit the “fruit factory” within. That’s exactly what Satan is trying to avoid: fruitfulness. Therefore, he tries to halt production in that “fruit factory” by injecting in the lies that gets us spinning and tries us to produce the fruits of the sinful nature instead.

I really liked the message today. Though, it’s better understood if you hear it explained the way he presented it. There are so many more good points and details and it would take forever for me to explore and explain EVERY AVENUE. ;) So, you might want to hear Chad’s messages for yourself by going to our church website: www.missionoflife.com

The final note that I will end with was when he asked us if we were allowing ourselves to be Satan’s tools to spin other people out in their relationship with God. How are we living our lives? Are we spinning people out? Are we preaching too heavily on the “hell and damnation” side of the message rather than the central message of love, forgiveness, and acceptance? We got to check our witness and what kind of ambassador we are for Christ. How are we reflecting Him and His message? Proverbs 27:19 says it well: “As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.”

So, what do our hearts look like? What are they reflecting to the world? I ponder this often because I want to do my best to show others love, understanding, and compassion. I want others to know Christ and see Him in me. Of course, I will fail sometimes because I am not perfect - none of us are. Perfection is never something I can promise to anyone. I can only do the best I can and just trust that Christ’s blood will cover my mistakes and failures and that others would be as forgiving of me as He is of me too - and that I am of them. God wants us to be peacemakers and to not hold unforgiveness in our hearts (and for good reason too!). Hate, bitterness, rage, and unforgiveness is a prison that will eat you alive and rob you of joy; which is why love and forgiveness is the best choice so that we can all have peace and healing in our lives.
So, which “fruit factory” are we operating in? What kind of fruit are we producing and reflecting? Our behavior says a lot about our relationship with Christ - or lack thereof. If we are living without God’s Spirit to guide us, that empty void will have to be filled with something and that something will be the fruit of the sinful nature which are things as described in Galatians 5:19-21:

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

But, if we are living by the Spirit of God, we will behave accordingly with spiritual maturity and exude the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5:22-26:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

So, be “fruity.” LOL Well, in a good way that is!! Be filled with the fruit of the Spirit and not the sinful nature. Behave in a manner that beautifully reflects Christ and allows Him to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit in your heart by laying down your pride, surrendering to His will, and allow him to empty you out of the bad and fill you with the good (which is always my personal prayer every day!). Allow him to develop spiritual growth in your heart so that you can produce a fruitful and abundant crop!! God bless you my sweet and fruity brothers and sisters in Christ!!

Close and Centered

Last Sunday, Chad did a little review of last week’s message; particularly about the four specific stages of spiritual growth: exploring, growing, close, and center. He briefly talked about a few key points before moving on with the new “parable of the sower” message series.

The whole goal of the spiritual growth stages is to end up at the last stage of being “Christ” centered rather than being at the opposite side of the spectrum which is “self” centered. The “self” side is empty, purposeless, and meaningless. Even if you have “everything“, you’ll still feel miserable and empty because when things are all about “you,” you really don’t have much of anything! Having no sense of purpose is a nagging void that‘s hard to live with. However, if you are purpose driven, you will work continually towards fulfilling that destiny to which Christ called you; and in that, you will find true meaning and worth in your life.

So, what does it take to get “centered”? It takes effort, energy, and commitment; and of course, sacrifice. There is hardly an instance in which something worth attaining doesn’t require those things. So, if you think you are going to achieve any goal without those elements, you’ll just stay stationary and unfruitful. Idleness and just hoping and wishing for something to happen (or putting it off as a “someday” goal) isn’t going to achieve a thing. You’ll just keep wasting time until you’re living in an endless “someday” seeing all the “yesterdays” that you wasted that could have been spent bringing you closer to goal. And, when it comes to one’s relationship with Christ, it should never be a “someday” goal because “someday” may never come! We don’t know how long we have!

What’s the first step then? Surrender!! “Die to self” each and every day as you make it all about HIM and less about YOU. It’s all about submission and servanthood; where your number one concern is to serve God and serve others and seeing to it that God’s Name is the name that is glorified - not your own.

Living a life of daily surrender takes work. It truly is a lifestyle. You have to give each day that God gives you back to Him. Galatians 2:20 describes it well: “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

Hard to take in? Is it “too hard” or beyond your “comfort zone”? Well, think about the alternative. Do you really think that this life is all there is and that making yourself happy by chasing worldly dreams is the key to happiness? Is that the secret to joy? If it is, I guess Hollywood is paradise isn’t it? The celebrities out there have every comfort you can imagine. Their lives are just peachy right? I’m sure Britney could tell you that!! Why do you think she is miserable despite all she has? Why do you think that even motherhood couldn’t fix the void in her heart? She has tried everything to fill it, but she has no peace. Why? Because her whole existence is about chasing after her own desires and happiness rather than God’s will for her life. And even after all her pursuits, she STILL isn’t happy!! She only spirals further out of control into misery!! Until she realizes that Jesus is the only one that can fill her void, she will continue down a path of self-destruction.

One of the best things I heard Chad say in reference to all of this was not to just “follow at a distance.” GET CLOSE AND CENTERED! Don’t sit this one out or shuffle slowly behind. Take an active role in your life and in your faith. You only have a set amount of years to be alive; the rest is spent in eternity (and WHERE in eternity depends on how you live your short lifespan NOW!). Eternity is FOREVER. Make your choice wisely now, because when you die, that’s when it REALLY begins!

He Has Restored Me!! :)

If there ever was the perfect message to hear, today was it!! I'm not kidding!! Make sure you listen to today's message on our church's website when it is made available!! I can't emphasize it enough!! Today changed my life!!

So, what was so powerful? I'll tell you what, it's GOD!! It's GOD working through people to do miraculous things!! It was GOD using Tom Felger, the president of The House of Hope, to share a profound message of impact today!! I've got to tell you that when I saw he was preaching today, I was SO EXCITED because I KNEW that God would have a word for me and that this would be a pivotal and life-changing day for me.

Tom talked about surrender. Yeah, I thought that too……."oh no…..not SURRENDER!" That is a TOUGH word!! It's HARD to know what that means and what it looks like. Bit by bit, I have begun to understand, but it truly got driven home even deeper today.

Tom talked about his surrender; about how Jesus has always been his Savior, but never really his LORD. He said that he had it all together; he loved his job, family, his life, everything! Yet, he still felt like there had to be more (just like this song/video reminds me of - please check it out and really listen to the words! I've been singing it a lot lately). So, anyways, he said that he was given a book called "Prison to Praise" by Merlin Carothers. It's a very short, powerful, book - and only 106 pages! In fact, this book was also given to me (and I think by the same person - though Tom didn't mention names. I started on it, but haven't made it all the way through - but I will make it a priority to finish it this week). Tom said that he was told that the book would change his life - and it did!!

Tom said that after he read that book, he started thinking about how he just wanted more of God; to go deeper. He talked about how he realized that "your ability to TRUST God is largely defined by your IMAGE of GOD." He began taking God out of the "box" and began looking at Him in a bigger way. He also realized that he had to have a relentless pursuit of God and go after Him with all he had and surrender daily.

Surrender is a lifestyle. (Oh boy is it ever!! WOW! That really hit home for me!! I never thought of it in those exact words before!). And, how do we surrender? What does it mean? Here is another thing Tom said that really opened my eyes wide: "TRUST is the fuel for SURRENDER." Can anyone say, "WOW!!"?

Tom pointed out that we really have to TRUST in Jeremiah 29:11 which says: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us and when Tom said, "Do you believe that what God has is better than what you can come up with?" THAT really spoke to me too!! We don't always know what is best for us - even when we think we do. It takes that daily surrender and seeking of the Lord for us to KNOW exactly what He wants for us and from us. The bottom line being that above anything else - even of all the good blessings in our life - Christ is our highest calling. He should always be our number one allegiance. "Above all, I serve You," he said.

That principle is what really got Tom to thinking. He said he was reading his Bible outside one day, and the page kept flipping over. He kept turning it back to what he was originally reading, but that page kept flipping over. When he realized that it couldn't be the wind, or coincidence, he stopped to think for a moment. He said the Lord told him, "Why are you resisting me?" So, he thought to himself that if that page blew over again, he would read where his eyes fell. Well, of course, that page did turn again, and his eyes fell on these words: "…. do you truly love me more than these?…" - John 21:15 He said "THESE" really jumped out at him and got him to thinking what his "THESE" were.

What are your "THESE"? That is some heavy fuel for thought!! Do we really love Jesus more than "THESE"? Do we love Him? Do we TRUST Him? Tom pointed out that you can't love without trust. Indeed!! 1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love "always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." So, how can we love God, or anyone, without trust?

Tom said his trust was really tested when he was miraculously healed of a disease that doctors said would pretty much cripple him as he got older and that there was no hope for him. He had dealt with it a long time, but God totally set him free from it!! He was prayed for, and he said that he just felt his whole spine come into alignment and he had no more pain. The doctors are absolutely stunned!! And, he said that when someone told him "When it tries to come back, don't accept it." he was a little mystified. But then, he saw what she meant because it did try to come back. Satan doesn't want us to be free and he wants us to doubt our healing. But, he said when the pain did start to creep back, he would just put his hand on it and pray over himself and the pain would leave. He also said God called him out on the fact that he was still keeping his pain pills. So, he finally took all of them and threw them away.

He also said that he began to get frustrated that it didn't seem like "total" healing because it kept trying to rear it's head again. He said he "had it out" with God and was out in the field on his knees praying and crying out; wondering why it didn't seem complete. He said he was distracted by all these birds, and a rabbit hopping around and all these creatures that seemed to be invading his space as he prayed. He said that he remembers God distinctly saying: "If you don't praise me, they will!!" (Oh, man!! I sure don't want birds, rabbits, or even STONES doing my job!!!).

Tom described prayer and praise as our offensive weapon. "Praise even when it doesn't make sense," he said. RIGHT ON!! There are ups and down in our life; it's NEVER "smooth" (and if it is, buddy, you've got a problem!!)

Thankfulness and praise is the key to getting through EVERYTHING!! If you allow yourself to be angry and bitter, the doubts will set in, and things will be all the tougher. No one knows this better than I!! This was definitely something I needed to hear, because I allowed my faith to be weakened in these last few months. It's like Kent always says, we got to persevere! We got to "face the fire, feel the heat, and find the gold." There IS gold!! God refines us!! All the good stuff - and maybe even more so, the BAD STUFF - refines us and makes us stronger!!

I decided that I wasn't going to let myself be "down" anymore. I wasn't going to be like a friend I knew who always allowed her bondage to come back. Every time she was set free, she would be drawn right back into it by refusing to accept her freedom completely and permanently. That would not be me. I KNEW that today was the day where I was going to receive my miraculous breakthrough - the final piece to all the breakthroughs that I have had this week (which I will not disclose at this time).

I was scared about going forward at the end. I knew I had to, but like so many times, one wants someone "else" to go first. But, I felt like God was saying that sometimes, we have to be the ones to step out first. I couldn't wait for someone else to submit before I did - because what if that would never come? So, I took Mitch, Phil, and Cindy up front with me, and they prayed for me. Then, Tom came down and prayed for me as well; along with his wife, Patrice, and a few other people.

By the time we were all finished, I felt such a release!! I am SO THANKFUL for all the friends I have that have carried me through this and helped me to resolve so many issues for me today!! I am even more grateful that I asked Tom to pray for my neck and back - which gives me a lot of pain (my neck especially). I can't describe it either, but my neck really feels different!! The surging pain that plagues me so often is not there now!! And, if it tries to come back, I will do what Tom did and I will place my hand on it, pray it away, and not accept the pain again!! I am just in such a state of amazement!! I mean, usually, I am always turning my head, cracking my neck and trying to get relief. Now, I feel like my neck and spine is straighter and it totally feels different too!! I move my neck side to side or downward, and I don't have that pain!!!! It feels like I had the best chiropractic adjustment ever, and I DID!! It was from JESUS; the GREAT PHYSISIAN; the MIGHTIEST HEALER OF THEM ALL!! I just can't get over how different I feel!! I had learned to live with it and had never thought of asking for prayer for it until now (it had been getting REALLY bad and unbearable!). PRAISE GOD!!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

There is so much more that I could say about my personal healing and progress today, but I won't. I was encouraged just to let God give me the words and timing and most importantly, to "rest" right now. So many times, I am in "overdrive" mode and my friends know just as well as I how much I can go on, and on, and on, and on……LOL So, I won't do that today. There's a time and season for everything. All anyone needs to know is what one of my best friends once said about me: "Satan, beware! World, behold!!" That's right!! It's ME!!!!! MELISSA IS BACK AND READY TO ONCE AGAIN WAGE WAR AGAINST THE KINGDOM OF DARKNESS!!!!!

I just had to share today's message, as always. DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS ONE!! When they upload today's sermon on our site, PLEASE make it a priority to listen!! Tom is SO ANNOINTED BY GOD and today's message brought so much freedom to me - and to others, I'm sure!! GOD BLESS YOU TOM!! THANK YOU GOD FOR HOW YOU USE TOM, AND PATRICE TOO!!!!! WHAT A TEAM!! You and so many others have been the loyal brothers and sisters in Christ that I truly need!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!! May God bless you and may God bless all those who read this!!!

Bold and Untamed Faith

Today, it was Mike Gerber’s turn to preach. We’re taking a break from the “House” series; but will be coming back to it in a couple weeks. (Oh the suspense!! LOL I’ve been enjoying the “House” series so much!!) And, as I mentioned before, you can now listen to our church sermons online or on your ipod by going to our church's website.

The topic for today’s message was “The Call of Christ…An Untamed Faith.” I liked the title. It’s such a perfect thing to talk about, because as a follower of Christ, we are ALL called. And it’s not to be the “butt” of the church either - like I wrote about last week. We aren’t just supposed to sit around. Our faith needs to be an active faith; not a passive one.

Mike said that nowadays, the Christian faith has become so tame and domesticated. We seem to have simmered down our enthusiasm for Christ and have lost sight of Him; our first love. We spend so much time building our own kingdoms and pursuing our own goals; even if within those ambitions, it has to do with Christ. For example, he talked about how even on Christian television there is just so much “marketing.” It’s true. There is a lot of marketing of “this” Christian book or “that” Christian book or whatever else they are trying to promote. Sometimes, in all the hype, we lose our perspective.

That is why we are supposed to set our sights on Jesus. We need to take up our cross; not just wear it around our necks. Sure, display your faith. Wear a cross necklace or put a bumper sticker on your car. Nothing wrong with that. The point is, however, that real faith is more than just image; it’s action. Don’t just “wear“ the cross; CARRY IT!

Mike also talked about how everyone’s mission and path in life is different. Some people are meant to be like James Dobson and have a big ministry like that. Others, like me, just have a smaller “ministry” where I only touch a few people who happen to read things that I write. That’s ok. We all have different gifts and different measures of them - and we don‘t know how much we are truly impacting people in GIGANTIC ways just by doing simple things! All we have to do is USE what we have been given and we need not be like Peter and say, “What about HIM?” Jesus says, “What’s that to you?” Don’t worry about everyone else and THEIR mission in life. Just be responsible for your own! You’re not somebody else, you are YOU!! Do the part that was meant for YOU; not someone else’s part. YOUR IMPACT MATTERS!

Another valid point that was brought up is that faith isn’t timid and safe. Faith, REAL FAITH, is risky and even dangerous. Even as I speak, there is probably a Christian somewhere in the world who is being tortured for their faith. Faith isn’t safe. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean that we are spared from pain and suffering. Jesus wasn’t spared. He had trouble and so do we. However, we have the assurance that those troubles will make us stronger and that the end result is worth it. If Jesus hadn’t suffered, none of us would have salvation! Trouble, persecution, and suffering makes us stronger; and we aren’t always rescued from it right away - or at all, in some cases. Sometimes, we do have to suffer a little while before we get the healing that we need. Other times, we don’t get the healing that we want. “But that’s not fair!” You’re right. It’s not. You know it and I know it (boy, you have no idea how much I know that and have said that - even lately! LOL) So, remember this phrase that Kent always says: “Life isn’t fair….people are weird…..love is the bottom line.” There is going to be a lot of “unfairness” in your life. There is also going to be a lot of weird and even awful people that seem to have better lives than you. But, what is that to you? It’s all in God’s plan and will work out for good (Romans 8:28).

Love IS the bottom line!! It all comes back to LOVE! Even if we can’t see it; it’s there. You can even see it in the examples of people’s lives in the Bible. Job lost everything. He suffered a great deal. But, God restored Him. God lets us grow through our troubles to give us purpose and to save us from the dullness and meaninglessness of life. All sunshine and roses ends up being pretty empty - just look at Solomon. You can have EVERYTHING and STILL have NOTHING!!

Even in the cases where people didn’t get healing in their lives, it still worked out for good. Mike illustrated that by talking about John the Baptist’s experience in prison. He was pretty much just waiting for his last hour to be up and he was having doubts about who Jesus was. I’m sure he wondered if Jesus even cared and hoped that maybe, He would save him and get him out of there. But, Jesus didn’t do that. Why? I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but God always has His reasons. We all have a certain amount of time on this earth and then, we leave and go home (well, assuming that our souls are right with God we go “home”). The time for John was obviously over and God wanted him “home.” So, in a way, he was spared; spared from more pain and torture on earth and given his full reward in the paradise of heaven where he would no longer have to worry about the troubles and perils of earth. So, he was ultimately “spared” and saved.

The message ended with a song by Clay Crosse. It’s a beautiful song called, “I Surrender All.” It has been a while since I have heard it. Wow! Those lyrics are so deeply powerful!! They really resonated with me! So, I have included the lyrics below as well as this link to the youtube video. May God bless your heart as much as He has blessed mine!! God only knows how much I needed this message today!! Here’s to hoping that all of our hearts are surrendered so we can have a live out loud kind of faith that is bold and untamed!

I Surrender All
By Clay Crosse

I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

Chorus:

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams Though the price to follow costs me everything I surrender all my human soul desires If sacrifice requires That all my kingdoms fall I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain If the focus of my vision is the status I attain My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Bridge:

Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire If all I have is all that You desire I surrender all