Pages

Friday, October 8, 2010

Faith Isn't Cheesy!

Sometimes, I just get that nudge inside that something has to be blogged. It’s a sense of urgency that has the feel of, “this is going to change someone’s life…I must share it NOW!” Though, usually, that someone is me. Whether anything I ever post helps anyone else or not, I’m always assured that God’s Word never returns empty (Isaiah 55:11). So, at the very least, it always does this poor soul some good! 

Oh, how I’ve missed this! I have a “welcome home” kind of feeling right now! It’s been months since I have blogged (my friend, Shane, pointed out that I am so far behind!). It‘s not intentional, but my life has changed so much in the past three months and I haven’t had the time to do many of the things I used to do. So, just a quick synopsis, for those who don’t know, before I get to the subject of what inspired this entry:

On July 8th, the day after my birthday, my children and I were forced to move out. We moved in with my Dad and step-mom and have been trying to adjust to our new life ever since. The kids seem happy and content, but Mommy is having a harder time. It’s difficult to adapt to so many things all at once and figure out how to cope and heal after spending over ten years of my life with the one I thought was going to love me forever. I had always thought (and been told) that I am a strong person, but I have never felt more weak and broken than I do right now. Though, what little faith I have left tells me that I will be eventually be ok; and the prayers and support of many keep me hanging on and give me hope (even if I’m only hanging on by a thread). So, please know that I am thankful for all of you who are helping me hold my head up! You all know who you are, but just to name a few, a BIG thanks to my Dad and Lauri (for whom I do not have enough words to thank or express my gratitude! THANK YOU for your support in every way and for being our refuge and safe place!), my Mom, Nat, and Ryan (whose love and support from afar is a comfort to me no matter how great the miles), and my Grandma Sauers who continues to amaze me with all she is able to give of herself (you are so brave to tackle the task of caring for Gianna when needed lol). To every single one of the rest of my loving family, I cherish and appreciate you as well! Thank you!! Also, my AMAZING friends (particularly - but certainly not limited to - Adam, Jama, Shane, Amy, April, Mama Saun, Facebook friends, co-workers, and Casey’s teachers). I would not survive this without you (and thank you for being true friends)! I am eternally grateful for your love, prayers, wisdom, support, and even the laughter you bring to my life when I need it the most!! I love you! OXOXO Oh, and to my haters, I am thankful for you too! I forgive you and you make me stronger, and I bless you!

And now, to talk about what stirred me to blog in the first place. It’s not too far off from what I have already been talking about, but the starting point is a little different (and maybe unusual). This blog is actually the result of an episode of “Glee” that I just watched on Hulu. Anyone that knows me knows that it’s one of my favorite shows (even if there is some content here and there that I don’t truly agree with). Apparently, “Glee” is pushing the envelope even further this season. This episode, “Grilled Cheesus”, nearly makes me want to say “I will never watch it again.” Almost. That’s because while there are often many mistruths, the show often redeems itself (though not usually all the way) by the end of the episode (Click on the link if you want to see what I mean. Please note that episodes expire after a while, so this link will not always work). 

The title of the episode deal’s with Finn’s issue of a grilled cheese sandwich that appears to have the face of Jesus in it. It’s reminiscent of the stories we often hear about people finding Jesus or the Virgin Mary’s face in unusual places (and how people end up praying/worshiping the object rather than God himself. Satan is clever with these deceptions isn‘t he?). Finn tends to go to that extreme. He ends up praying to it and thinks that all his prayers are being answered when things start going his way (the team wins their game, he gets to fool around with his girlfriend, and he gets to be the quarterback again). Yet, he feels particularly bad when that third prayer happens as a result of the other quarterback getting injured which prompts him to share his grilled cheese nonsense with the school guidance counselor. She does set him straight by pointing out that winning the game came as a result of teamwork and a better coach. Also, what she appropriately classified as “inappropriate touching” was a result of Rachel’s own free-will (which, as of course she didn’t mention, wouldn’t be a prayer God would answer to Finn’s liking anyways considering it’s not something in line with His Word). Thirdly, the quarterback injury was a result of an opposing team member being over-age, on steroids, and practically crushing him to death. Finn expresses his disappointment by saying he felt rather ordinary again and like he didn’t have the direct line to God like he thought he did. Of course, those of us that know better would have told Finn that one DOES have a direct line to God, and that’s through Jesus Christ (and not a grilled cheese) who makes intercession for us (Isaiah 53:12, Romans 8:26-27). So, Finn doesn’t have to feel ordinary if he belonged to Christ and became an heir with Him (Romans 8:17). That should make you feel pretty special!

The entire episode just screamed “ride the fence” because it didn’t decide on anything. Just the basic, “whatever works for you is fine.” Sue Sylvester and Kurt both expressed their unbelief and disgust at the idea of God. Sue’s issue was the fact that she prayed hard for God to heal her sister, when she was younger, when she realized that the beautiful woman she valued her sister to be was ridiculed by everyone else (her sister in the show has Down Syndrome). However, her sister corrected her as they talked over a game of checkers and assured her that God doesn’t make mistakes and asked Sue if she would like her to pray for her and a teary-eyed Sue said “yes” (though they showed no prayers being made right then). 

Kurt’s issues dealt with his father who suffered a heart attack and was currently comatose in the hospital. He was pushing his friends (and their faith) away as they offered their help. One of his reasons was that he stated his anger at God for making him gay and then directing His followers to hate him. He also expressed that he didn’t feel that churches were welcoming of gay people (though he did attend church with Mercedes later on). Here we find a lot of twisted ideas (on both sides, mind you). First of all, God does not create or permit sin and Christ died to atone for it. We are born with a sin nature as a result of this fallen world (and we all have a free will) and the sin vices that we have vary from person to person. One person’s struggle is completely different from another’s. Take me, for example. One of the things that I struggle with is my weight and tendencies to overindulge. While I am accepted by God (and pretty much everyone else) just as I am, it isn’t permissible for me to be a glutton or to misuse/abuse the body that He gave me. Whether or not family genetics determines how easy/hard it is to maintain a healthy body is no excuse. I am still responsible for how I care for and rehabilitate myself to correct the problem. It would be a mistake for me to say, “I’m fat and that’s just the way I am and there’s nothing I can do about it and everyone should just accept it.” That would be incorrect thinking. There IS something I can do about it and I SHOULD (and am!). No matter what sin a person struggles with, there IS hope and we should actively work on obtaining our freedom through Christ from our various bondages. Deliverance is always possible (and available)!

That brings me to the other point of Kurt’s comments. He is wrong in stating that God directs His followers to hate gay people. We are told to love one another (John 13:35). Jesus does not condemn anyone who is in Him. He was infamous for dining with “sinners” prostitutes, tax collectors, and those whom society despised. However, He didn’t endorse their behavior, and those that encountered Christ had a change of heart/life. He approached people with love and gentleness, not condemnation. Remember the woman at the well (John 4:1-30)? How about the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11)? Didn’t he tell us not to throw stones (verse 7)? Though, notice that after he told the woman that he did not condemn her, he instructed her in that last verse to leave her life of sin. We who are in Him should not continue in sin (1 John 3:6-9, 1 John 5:17-19). And we certainly aren’t condemned if we are walking after the Spirit and not the flesh (Romans 8:1-2). 

However, Kurt is sadly right about one thing. There are many that hate and don’t welcome gay people. There are those that condemn, hate, slander, and ostracize. The body of Christ needn’t do this and that’s where some Christians twist “God hates sin” into “God hates people” and that is NOT true! No matter what the issue, we should have open arms to welcome and help people just as Christ does for us. It’s like an article I once read where a former homosexual was criticizing the church for not being there for Ray Boltz (and others) when they “came out” (I couldn't find the article I read before, but I did find a good one here). If they had, they might have gotten the help and support they needed but instead, they felt unsafe about talking about their struggles because of the way some (like the Westboro Baptist Church) treat people. We have support groups for sex/drug/alcohol addicts, anger and overeating addictions, and everything else under the sun, but in this area we are failing profusely and mishandling it badly! This bothers me greatly because I have close friends that are gay as well as those that have overcome it, so I have great compassion on this issue. Everyone is God’s creation; precious in His sight. They are a treasure to Him and they are a treasure to me as well, and I know how I would feel if someone starting listing my sins and condemning me to Hell for them instead of embracing me with love and being there for me to help me overcome my struggles. I would rather have someone say, “Let’s go for a walk, burn some calories, and go get a salad when we’re done!” rather than, “You’re fat and you’re doomed! Sucks to be you! Looks like you’re going to Hell, you glutton!” One statement says, “I love you and am walking through this with you…how can we help each other?” and the other says, “You’re on your own loser!” Which approach do you think is more effective, loving, and accepting? You can love and accept a person without endorsing sin. Jesus modeled that all the time. We should do the same!

Even though the show doesn’t always get things right, it does give you food for thought (if you know how to sort through the mess and know the truth from lies). It also illustrates the struggle we all have with faith from time to time. That’s what sparked inside of me so much when I watched it, because I can relate to it so much right now. Sometimes, I feel like Sue and Kurt and feel that maybe God really isn’t there and that if He was, He’s not a good God because of all I’m going through. But then, I remember that God isn’t the one who wrongs me, it’s the free-will of others that wrongs me. God is always perfect and good and can do no evil. People do things that are wrong, but God is there to make it right; though “when” He makes things right isn’t always on MY timetable. However, He promises that He WILL make things right (Hebrews 10:30). He who is judge is the one that will deal with everything accordingly and it’s not my right (or my job) to take on His role and pick up those stones. I am hoping for the self-control and grace I need to leave stones on the ground, because just like anyone else, I do fail and pick them up sometimes. If I do, I should give them to Jesus and He will put it in His rock pile to deal with. 

The biggest point that “Glee” made is that everyone needs something to believe in; especially in the hard times because what hope do you have if you don’t? Sue thought that that “fantasy” was useless, but that comes from a character who’s faith is only in herself. Real faith isn't fantasy or "cheesy". True faith is powerful! And, whether an atheist will admit it or not, the fact of the matter is that even they believe in SOMETHING because we are all created and geared to worship something; whether that’s God or self or someone else. The object/person that a person puts faith in may be different, but we all believe in "something." However, the problem with the general “something to believe in” idea is that it’s very vague and very misleading if you aren’t trusting in something (rather, someone) unfailing. Obviously, people fail us and we even fail ourselves. There is nothing completely unfailing, reliable, and trustworthy except for Jesus Christ. As Chad once said, “He’s the only way because He’s the only one.” Who else died for you, made you an heir with Him, and is coming back for you? Who or what else promises grace rather than earning “heaven” on your own merits and legalism? Why choose Jesus? Because He chose YOU! Now THAT’S something to believe in; and we'll see just what faith can do as a result!

Grace and peace to all of you! God bless all of you for reminding me that there really is something to believe in every day because you all believe in me (rather, the one who is IN me - and I in Him). Thanks for building me up and reminding me who holds my future and that I’ll have the strength to make it through because of HIM (Philippians 4:13) and can‘t do it without Him (John 15:5)…nor could I do it without so many of you walking through this with me too! Praise God for all of you!
  

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Birthday Blog and What's "Up" with Me

As some of you may or may not know, something is "up" with me. So, I will briefly share about it so people don't have to speculate or keep asking me. However, before I get to that part, I know everyone has also been curious as to how my big day (my birthday) went. :) So, I'll share the "happy stuff" first.

To sum it up, my birthday was AWESOME!! I picked up my BFF/sis, April, and we went to Fort Wayne. Before we went to The Forum for our scheduled spa day, we stopped by the mall to buy ourselves tiaras so we could wear them for our pictures later (BRILLIANT idea, sis!). :) Then, we went to The Forum and had an AWESOME time! First, a massage. Next, a facial. Then, a manicure/pedicure, followed by hairstyling. Then, as if that weren't enough, Steve offered to do our make-up. It wasn't part of our spa package, but everyone was so excited to be a part of our awesome birthday that they were just beyond generous! Steve did our make-up for FREE (though April tipped him generously)! Thank you, Steve! Thank you, Forum (and thank you to Lydia, Lisa, and everyone that worked with April and me!). You guys are AWESOME and made our birthday unforgettable!

Next, we went back to the mall. It was funny because we were all dressed up and wearing our tiaras and lots of people were staring at us lol. Pretty funny to be all dressed up and eating at Auntie Anne's before our photo session, but we were hungry after being at the spa for like six hours! LOL

So, the time came for pictures! The heat of the day took the curl out of my hair quickly, be we still looked pretty awesome! :) Despite having to wait a while, we got a free sheet of prints to make up for it (plus we had coupons for more) so we got a heck of a deal on some pictures! Awesome!

As if that weren't enough, April had made reservations at Baker Street for dinner. Oh my gosh, it was PERFECT! The place was BEAUTIFUL! Everything from the music, atmosphere, decor, food, etc. was AMAZING!! The food is worth every penny - and we got free birthday desserts! April got the cheesecake and I got creme brulee (my first time ever having it!). Oh my gosh, so good!! Delicious entrees, yummy soup and bread, and such heavenly desserts! Plus, we opened the gifts we got each other!! And, wouldn't you know it, we both got each other a musical card that played the SAME song: "Girls Just Want To Have Fun." Do we know each other or what?!! :)

As if that weren't enough, we decided to keep the evening going! After all, in just one more hour, it would officially be April's birthday. We didn't want our big day to end! So, we called up April's bro and we all hung out for a while and sang karaoke. Well, April and I did anyways (and so did our friend, Mikey, who sang happy birthday to us too lol). And, we had our tiaras on the whole night and got treated like the birthday princesses that we were! :) We had an awesome time and then finally had to go home - but not before having a ton more girl talk on the way lol. I love my sis!! OXOX

My birthday was definitely one to remember! Such a high point! Though, as we know, the highs can sometimes be followed by some lows (or in my case, a very BIG low!). Ok, so here's what's "up", people. To put it bluntly, the kids and I moved out (and moved in) with my Dad and Lauri the day after my birthday. Mitch and I are getting a divorce. Those closest to me know my situation and that this is something that I have never WANTED to do. However, I'm in the position where I HAVE to. That's ALL I will say publicly. I'm not a mean person, and I don't do character assasination (it only reflects poorly on your own). However, I can't speak for anyone else, so I don't know who has heard what and frankly, I don't care. Those that know me know my heart and my character and I trust that true friends will have the wisdom and discernment to see the truth and disregard any lies and junk that might possibly be out there. Like I said, I don't know that there is, but I'm just saying. As Dr. Phil would say, "I don't care how flat you make a pancake, it's still got two sides." So, if we are acting maturely, I would think that one wouldn't take one side of the pancake over the other and just truly look at the whole thing - if you know what I mean. I don't expect (or request) anyone to take sides. All I hope for is that anyone who has nothing better to do than examine hotcakes would at least have enough sense to know the pancake as a whole. Hard to cry out that one side is a little over-cooked when the other is burnt black. I don't know if this metaphorical jargon makes any sense, but you get the idea. I guess all I'm saying is don't judge either side too harshly (or at all) or take anything as gospel unless you know the whole truth. Unless you're prepared to serve up your own pancake on a platter for all to see, I respectfully ask for you to hold any servings of judgment, condemnation, rudeness, and self-righteous advice. Thank you! :)

On that note, I guess the only other thing I have to say is thanks!! THANK YOU to the people who have been with me now, and through the years, and have given me their love, compassion, and support! I appreciate the true friends that I have that truly understand what's going on and are supporting me 100%! It means everything to me (you have no idea!). Please, keep the prayers coming (for all involved). I'm a mixed bag of emotions; and having a really hard time managing them.

Also, for those of you that keep asking me how you can help me, my answer (in addition to my first request of prayer) is that you can help me by letting me help you! Most of you know that I'm a Team Beachbody Coach and aside from my main reason being that I want to help people get fit and healthy, I really need the income I get from it (obviously). So, if you're one of my customers, let me know how I can help you get the most out of Team Beachbody. It's mutually beneficial! I get to help you with your health and fitness and you are helping a soon-to-be single Mom provide for herself and her kids by purchasing Beachbody programs/supplements/Shakeology/etc. and/or becomming a coach yourself (all those interested in coaching, and all the benefits it offers, please let me know!!!). ALL NEW CUSTOMERS WELCOME!! I would LOVE to be your coach and have you on my team!! :) Check out my "before" and "after" photos here, and sign up!! This is more than a job/income for me. It's one of my passions and I am good at what I do and am meant to do it! It gives me purpose and it blesses me to give back to others and see people transform their health and their lives (just as I continue to do with my own!).

Ok, I guess that's it! Would have posted some pictures with this blog, but I'm not on my own computer. You'll have to check out my picture album (if you're on my friends list on Facebook). Grace and peace to all of you! God bless you all! Thanks for your love and support!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Changes for Changes

Last week, I mentioned that I had gained a few pounds back (went from 186 to 189 for whatever reason). Well, this week, I lost 3.4 pounds which puts me at 185.6! So, I'm slightly under what I was before I had that gain! 

I'm also doing a lot better with this new phase of ChaLean Extreme. Maybe this "lean" phase is starting to pay off! As I said previously, I'm definitely looking and measuring smaller (regardless of the scale). So, I've been proud of my progress! Now, it looks like the scale is playing catch-up. :) I'm hoping that next week's weigh-in will show me a few pounds lighter and that my momentum with that will start up again. After all, I've been working hard this whole time and doing my best to stay in balance. 

One thing that I have been wondering is if I needed to back off slightly. I read that you can sometimes sabotage yourself by OVER-training. So, I didn't workout on my Friday rest day (like I often do). And, this week is going to be a busy week (birthday included!). So, I'm going to take my birthday (Wednesday) off as my rest day instead of Friday. Plus, this weekend will be filled with extra exercises because I have a lot of miscellaneous sorting/cleaning/organizing to do this weekend; so I'm sure that will take a lot out of me lol. 

If there's one thing that I should know by now, it's that the body is unpredictable. Sometimes, you think you got it figured out and that you've found some kind of "pattern" or "formula" and that it should just keep working for you. It's just not true! I'm constantly changing my nutrition and exercise to try and find a new normal. It's a pain in the butt (for sure!) but you gotta give the body changes if you want to SEE changes! Changes for changes lol. If you are intent on just staying the same, then you can't ever expect anything to be different. Why stay in a rut? Change is good! We have to adjust and adapt and learn to accept them when they come! 

Grace and peace to all of you and God bless you all!!